YP's marathon tour!

Decisions

2008-03-29T18:33:00.002Z

This week is the hardest week of marathon training, in my book. Three weeks out you're torn between the temptation to make up training sessions you haven't done, and the feeling that you should really start tapering. And if you do taper, you instantly feel lazy and fat and slow.

I've struggled more than normal. For the past two weeks I've been struggling with a leg injury, and although I've got 10 mile and 20 mile PBs, I haven't done much else other than the races. I came into this week knowing that if I didn't do another long run, my last long run before London would be 4 weeks out (too far), but equally knowing that if I didn't shake off the injury before the big day I would have no hope of doing sub 3:45.

Do I rest and let it heal, or do I try to squeeze in just one more run. The temptation to do that was added to by the fact that both the races I've done have been while I've been injured - essentially I can still run without doing too much extra damage, I just don't seem to recover as fast as I do when I'm not injured.

My sub 3:45 schedule had me doing 18 miles, which seemed quite a lot for the first week of the taper, but it added to my temptation to go for it this week then cut back more drastically for the next two. But I still wondered whether I wouldn't be better relying on the training I'd already done (and after Spen I was pretty confident that it was enough) and trying to heal.

In the end, despite running about 5 miles every couple of days to keep me ticking over rather than resting completely, my leg started to feel much better and I felt more positive this morning. I headed out aiming for 18, but with the fall back plan that I'd decide at 15 how my legs felt and if necessary stop there. As it turned out, I felt fine, carried on to 18 and could have probably done more had it not been for the common sense that kept on shouting taper at me from inside my head.

So overall I feel a lot more confident. I still feel like I'm slower than I was a month or so ago, before the injury hit, but even being a bit slower I'm still running at 3:45 pace so I will not allow my head to start telling me I can't do it. For me it seems to be all in my head. If I believe I can do it, I will. If I don't, I'll allow myself to slip to plan B midway round and sabotage myself.

So don't let me say anything other than 3:45 is on...

Do You Like Hills?

2008-03-24T21:07:00.002Z

My 10 mile PB is slow in comparison to most of the rest. For some reason I only ever manage to fit in hilly 10 milers. I do flat halves, and tear my 10 mile PB to bits in the process, but I can never manage to get to flat 10 milers like St Annes or Snake Lane.

I thought I'd found one. In Lancashire, not too far from Blackpool. I signed up, then found out it was hilly.

I got to the start. Someone asked me whether I'd done it before. I said no. In a concerned voice, they asked "do you like hills?". It worried me slightly when I saw runners from scary clubs like Keswick turning up. They like their hills up there, that's for sure.

The weather wasn't great either. A bit of everything, with an honourable mention for the gale force winds and hail parts of proceedings.

The first 2 miles were great. A few uphills, but mainly down. And the wind must have been behind us. Then it started going up, but I was still mocking. Is this what Lancastrians call a hill, I thought? After 5 miles we still seemed to be going up. I was getting a bit sick of it, but thinking that while it was a long slog, at least there weren't any really steep bits.

Then we got to the really steep bit. I may have given the Lancys some credit at this point, but I consoled myself that we must start going down soon. And indeed we did, a nice downhill. The only problem was that you could see the people further ahead going uphill on the other side of the valley. That hill at 8 miles wasn't horribly steep, but it was at the point in the race when you'd rather not head back uphill again.

And finally downhill to the finish. It was a net downhill course, but there were plenty of undulations between the start and the end (they joked at the start that it was "fast, flat and accurately measured". Judging by the laughter, no-one expected it to be any of them - although my Garmin made it spot on 10 miles at the finish). I actually managed to collide with someone at the finish. At the end he was doing a bit more of a sprint than I was, and didn't expect me to lift my elbow as I reached for my other wrist to stop my Garmin on the line. He ran straight into it. In the results we were on exactly the same time, but they put me first. Yay!

It was a PB by about 7 minutes in the end, which says more about my previous 10 milers than about that course. I've still done faster over 10 miles in a half marathon, but at least there's a bit less of a discrepancy now.

Confidence

2008-03-18T21:18:00.000Z

What a difference a week makes. Last Tuesday I set out to run to work, and got 0.75 miles down the road before I decided that my leg hurt too much, and I got the bus the rest of the way. This Tuesday I'm absolutely and completely filled with the belief that I can get GFA this year. It won't take a fluke, or for everything to go better than the plan, it will just take me not doing anything stupid between now and London.

I think this is the first time I've got to the taper feeling like I've done enough training, and that the best thing for me to do is to reduce the intensity and let my legs recover. In the past I've always felt like I should do one more long run, one more hard session, and I've struggled to persuade myself to taper properly. I remember feeling like this before my first half marathon. I knew that I'd done enough training, and I started to feel a lot more relaxed about it. I've never felt like this before a marathon though.

A lot of it comes down to my race on Sunday. During the week I was unsure whether I should run it or give my legs chance to recover, and before the race I changed my race plan from "attempt to run it at marathon pace" to "attempt to finish". My legs were hurting, and I knew that it was a hilly course so I wasn't keen on the prospect of running it. I got myself to the start line by telling myself it was a two lap course, so if necessary I could drop out at 10 miles. That's how confident I was.

But I did run it and, what's more, I ran it just slightly faster than 3:45 pace. Admittedly I struggled a bit towards the end, and in the marathon I'll have to keep that pace (although I could go slightly slower) going for another 6.2 miles, but in the marathon I'll be properly rested, my legs won't be as sore, and the route won't involve the sort of hills Spen did. (On that subject I'm more than a little pleased that despite most of my marathon running club mates running the East Hull 20 instead of the Spen 20 on the basis that Hull is much flatter than Spen, I managed to run the fastest 20 mile time of anyone from the club who did either of the races. Incidentally, the others were all men)

However, the race did remind me of the difference between a 20 miler and a marathon. They say that 20 miles is the half way point of a marathon, and I'm starting to believe it. Although my legs hurt after the race and yesterday morning until a swim loosened them up, this morning I ran just over 8 miles, and I've got a hilly 10 mile race planned for Friday. There is no way on earth I'd do that after a marathon despite it "only" being 6 miles longer. I know that as you train more you recover faster, and I have been able to run a bit in the week after a marathon, but no more than 3 or 4 miles, and certainly not with any intensity.

It's just under four weeks until the marathon now. I know that I've done the training, and I know I'm fast enough. All I need to do is to run at my normal standard on the day. I don't need to do anything exceptional, I just need to put everything I can already do together. It would be nice if the weather was on my side, as training over winter means you don't get any experience of running in the heat, but apart from that pretty much everything else is under control. I'm at the stage where I worry that doing too much more will do more harm than good, and as long as I do enough not to lose the training I've already done, I don't feel like I need to do a huge amount more.

That's a nice place to be in, a really nice place. I feel comfortable about what I need to do, and this time round, weather permitting, I feel sure that I can do it.

Overtraining?

2008-03-04T19:13:00.001Z

I'm having a bit of a wobble at the moment. A lot of people I know seem to be getting injured, and my legs have started to feel tired all the time. I'm worried that I'm overdoing it a bit, but I'm trying to judge how much tiredness is good (it teaches me to run on tired legs) and how much is too much. Difficult.

I know that last week I overdid it. Because I knew that I wouldn't run much over the weekend, I crammed a lot into the first part of the week. After a half marathon PB on Monday, I went to running club on Monday, did a tempo run on Tuesday and then attempted a long run on Wednesday, after a heavy lunch. Unsurprisingly, the attempt failed and I gave up just after 10 miles (having already had an unscheduled toilet stop after 6). But I'm consoling myself with the fact that even if I didn't do a long run last week, I also didn't injure myself attempting it. So it could have been worse.

After a bit more rest (from running, at least) over the weekend I tried to get back into it, but my legs still feel a bit sluggish. Having said that, they did seem to get a bit better towards the end of my 10 miler this morning, as though they needed a few easy miles in them to get them back up to speed again. It was scheduled as 11, but I only had time for 10.3 before work. I'm sure it's close enough. My hamstrings feel nowhere near as sore as they did yesterday, so fingers crossed a couple of good stretching sessions after my runs have sorted them out.

I know that I'm down to the last three or four weeks of hard training, and the end is in sight. But these three or four weeks are hard, and important so I don't want to be fighting off niggles to try to get through them. I suppose I need to take my own advice and listen to my body, but it's hard sometimes when you want to train as hard as you can, and when you want to turn out for things like cross country - with the temptation that when they don't fit into your schedule you do them in addition to what you're meant to be doing instead of moving things around.

Note to self: rest is training too.

Numbers

2008-02-26T19:21:00.000Z

It's got to that stage of the training process now. Having done a race and seen how my legs have responded to training, it's time to start playing with figures. I'm enjoying it, because it's giving me a lot of confidence.

Before Edinburgh I played around with various numbers, and eventually came up with a target of about 3:52. I even printed off a pace band for that time, although I didn't wear it on the day, opting to wear 3:45 and 4:00 ones I picked up at the expo instead. In the end I did 3:52:11. I had too much on to do that before Amsterdam, but this time I'm definitely back to playing with numbers.

When I did it for Edinburgh, I had my "realistic" target of 4:00, and my "on a good day if I have the race of my life" target of 3:45. This time those targets have moved. I feel roughly as confident of breaking 3:45 as I did of breaking 4:00 this time last year, and likewise, would put my chances of 3:30 at around the same level as my chances of 3:45 last year. The numbers say I should be capable of it, but I haven't trained with that target in mind, and it would take an almighty effort.

At the moment, I think my target is an unscientifically chosen 3:36. I've tried to think what pace I realistically feel like I could run at, and am working on the basis of 8:15 minute miles (just under 30 seconds per mile slower than half marathon pace). That is subject to change in the next few weeks, but I want to have an idea of the pace I want to run, so that I can get used to how it feels in training. I have a 20 mile race coming up which I want to try to run at marathon pace, but until I decide what marathon pace is, it's a bit hard.

Officially I'm aiming for 3:45 and that's what I'm telling people at running club. I don't like putting the pressure on myself by going round talking about anything faster than that. But I want to have my own target which I keep to myself, other than revealing it to cyberspace.

Of course, that leads to a whole new idea in my head. For years, the dream has been getting a GFA time, but I seem to have moved the goalposts slightly. I'm aware that my new target also qualifies me for Boston, and that the two races are likely to be too close together to do both. At the moment I feel like if I do manage to get the slightly harder Boston time, I should seize the chance of doing that race instead of FLM again, because it will be a race I haven't done. It's all a bit speculative, trying to decide which of two races I haven't qualified for yet I should do. There are plenty of things that could go wrong between now and the 13th April, but hopefully having that as a goal in my head will help me focus on it.

And while we're on the subject of America, I've started making post FLM plans. You see, something has just come to my attention. I'd love to do New York again someday, but didn't fancy the ballot, or having to pay a premium to get a place through tour companies. And I'm certainly not doing the charity route again for a while. But I've just noticed that unlike London and Boston, you can qualify for New York with a fast enough half marathon. For women my age, that time is 1:37:00 or faster. That looks achievable. In fact, it looks very achievable (certainly more achievable at this stage than the 3:23 you need if you want to use a qualifying marathon time). 3 minutes, 11 seconds. Roughly what I took off my previous PB on Sunday. Hmm....

I don't think I could afford New York and Boston in the same year, and I don't know whether the races I run are "certified courses" for qualification purposes, but it's something to bear in mind for my next target. A girl has to have goals!

Training works!

2008-02-25T21:45:00.001Z

This weekend it was time for what is fast becoming a regular event on the calendar.

Cast your mind back to 2006, when I had this stupid idea that I would like to try a half marathon. The one I chose was the Great North West half in Blackpool, and I surprised myself by running it in 1:55, well inside my 2 hour target. Last year I bagged myself a PB of 1:47, and this year it was almost inevitable that I'd go back for more.

I wasn't sure what to expect. Since the last time I raced a half marathon I've done three marathons, and one slow half with two wheelchairs. I've done a lot of training over the last few months, but my only races have been cross country races or 5ks which aren't really targetted towards marathon training. My schedule said to aim for sub 1:45, which I felt I could do, but I wasn't sure aim higher and try for a PB, which was sitting at 1:43:04.

There was a 1:45/8 minute mile pacer, and I was considering sitting with the group until 8 or 9 miles and then attempting a strong finish if I felt up to it. That way I'd feel confident of getting 1:45 even if I just stuck with them, but would give myself enough time to challenge my PB by picking it up by 20 or 30 seconds per mile towards the end.

But at the start I felt good, and the throw caution to the wind part of my brain took over. I started next to the 8mm pace group, the first hundred metres or so tend to be slower as everyone crosses the line, then they start speeding up to their target pace. They got there and stopped, but my acceleration carried on. Before I knew it the gap was opening a bit, and I was settling into a faster pace. I tried to decide whether it was a stupid idea and whether I'd suffer later (my recent racing experience being races which are over within 30 or 40 minutes, rather than nearly 2 hours), but decided to trust my instincts.

And it turns out they were good instincts. By the time I got to 8 miles I was still running at roughly the pace I started off, and started getting into the maths test phase of the race. This is where I start trying to work out how fast I need to run the rest of it to hit various targets. So how much could I slow down and still hit 1:45? How much could I slow down and still hit 1:43? Not that I intended to, but it's the sort of calculation that gives me confidence, particularly when I realise it's a pace I can do easily. What time will I do if I carry on at this speed? Not being particularly good at maths, by the time I've worked it out I'm another half mile down the road and have to start working it out again... Still, it keeps my mind off the pain in my legs, and it's quite nice when you get to the point where 10 minute miles would get you to the end within your target.

It was noticeable that on the second full loop of the course (it was one small loop then two bigger ones) I hardly saw any women. Looking at the results there was one just in front of me, but it seemed like I was running with the men all the way round. I was far enough up the field that I'd hear spectators point me out as though at that stage of the race, seeing a woman was a rarity (and I did indeed finish 47th out of 363 women, 359th out of 1186 overall, and 22nd in my category). In fact, on the last leg back to the finish, the only women I really saw were the ones I lapped!

As ever on that course (although it was slightly changed this year for various reasons), going north isn't too bad apart from the surface being concrete, and then when you come back south you hit the wind in your face, and the slight undulations of the upper level of the prom. And you always come south to the finish. That made the last few miles a bit of a struggle (and at the end someone who had passed me said it looked like I was struggling at 11 miles, although I didn't think I felt that bad), but I kept my pace at around 8 minute miles, slower than I'd started but still the pace I was planning to run the whole thing.

Even more of a struggle was the fact that because of a last minute route change, you had to run 200 metres past the finish, double back on yourself and then back again, and at that point I realised that I was just going to miss a significant landmark time, albeit one I hadn't actually set myself. No sprint finish will take 11 seconds off my 200 metre time at the end of a half marathon, so sub 1:40(!!!) will have to wait for another day, and I am still more than happy with a time of 1:40:11, which is far faster than I'd been aiming for and a 3 minute PB. And next time I get a half PB it will almost certainly be in the 1:30s.

Amusingly, feeding that time into a race time predictor spews out a marathon time of 3:28. I'm not going to read too much into that, as there is a margin of error in those things, but it does make me feel better about aiming for sub 3:40 rather than sub 3:45 at FLM. Partly that's psychological, to give me a bit of room for manouevre if I end up having to go for my back up plan midway round, but the idea of running Boston is getting more and more appealing so I may as well have a shot at qualifying for it...

So that means I'll have to stick with the speedwork and trying to at least vaguely follow the training programme, because it's looking like it definitely works.

The downside is that one of my running club friends isn't going so well with her training. We were both following the same schedule, but she's been struggling with injury and pace, and is falling off it a bit. I feel quite guilty about telling her my times, because I know that if it was the other way round I would be insanely jealous. To be fair to her, if she is, she hides it well because she's still being ultra-supportive while admitting that her target is now 3:50 - 3:55.

Focus

2008-02-12T20:31:00.000Z

I'm starting to feel more confident that I'll nail 3:45 this year. I'm following the 3:45 schedule on my Garmin, and if anything I'm running faster and further than I'm meant to (but without feeling overtired). On my interval sessions I get told to slow down more than I get told to speed up (but manage to do the last rep at the same pace as the first), and my long runs are significantly faster than they're meant to be (but again, the last four or five miles tend to see me speeding up).

Last year my real target was to break 4 hours at Edinburgh, and to survive Amsterdam in a state to do New York. Although I felt like 3:45 was possible, I didn't have my heart set on it and when the runs got tough towards the end I quickly switched to the fall back "how much time can I lose and still go sub-4" plan.

This year I'm not going to let myself think like that. In fact, I'm almost tempted to set my "on a good day" target at sub 3:40, with the fall back target at 3:45. 3:40 would get me a Boston qualifying time as well as GFA, and while I don't know whether I'd be able to afford to go over and run it, having the option would be nice. But if I miss it, the fact that I'd have aimed for it might get me under 3:45 as a consolation.

A friend at running club is doing the 3:45 plan too, but doesn't seem confident. I know that she runs a lot of club runs at a similar pace to me, although I'm marginally faster in races usually (I don't think she's ever quite managed to beat me when we've gone head to head, and her marathon PB is 3:57). I know that for me a lot of it is about confidence, and this time I'm refusing to let myself see 3:45 as anything but achievable. I know that it should be, I know I've been training well, so I'm not going to let myself talk myself out of it in my head.

The Northerns

2008-01-26T17:22:00.000Z

I don't know whether I hate cross country because it reminds me of running at school, or whether I hated running at school because it was cross country, but give me a road race any day. Oh yes, running off road can be better for the knees, more scenic, more interesting, and all that. But I just have a mental block. I don't like it, I don't like the prospect of getting muddy, of having to run up near vertical slopes, of slipping in the mud.

So, the suggestion that I run in the Northern Cross Country Championships filled me with dread. I should emphasise that they didn't pick me because I'm actually good at cross country, more that they wanted to get a team together, they needed six or seven runners, and I live a mile away from where it was taking place this year. OK, so I probably am one of the best six or seven women, even on cross country, but I'm certainly not one of the nutters who actually enjoys it.

I then spent about two months trying to think of an excuse to get out of it. At one point it was going to be my sister's hen do, which was perfect, but that got postponed until next weekend, so I was back on. I found someone to take my place, then someone else dropped out and she had theirs instead. In the end, I tried to persuade myself to stop whining and get on with it.

With it being close, it was the turn of the Leeds clubs to set up and marshall it. So I walked down to the park for the first time at about 9.30 and did an hour or so setting up tapes to mark our section of the course. That was a seemingly never-ending job because it was so windy that they kept coming untied and breaking. When we were done I decided that instead of hanging around, I'd pop home for a non-chemical toilet and a warm drink. I then walked back down to the park to meet everyone at about 11.45, with the senior womens race due to go off at 12.25.

I hadn't realised what a big event it was, with junior races in all sorts of agegroups, and people coming on coaches from all over the north. They were obviously all rather more committed to the thought of doing cross country than me!

Six women turned up for us, so as we had eight numbers there was no chance of finding a stand in. I could have just not run, I suppose, but I tried to persuade myself it would be fun.

The start was a bit disorganised, there was meant to be a pen for each club, but they weren't numbered and we were still wandering round trying to work out which was ours when the gun went off, so we just got behind some other people and followed them through their pens...

The race itself wasn't as bad as I'd been expecting. It was mainly on grass, so one of my main cross country fears - tree roots - wasn't a problem. My main worry is essentially a lack of confidence, I worry that without off road shoes (which I can't justify buying for one or two races a year) I'll fall, injure myself and mess up my FLM training. I have no confidence that I'll be able to stay upright. But it was grassy, and there weren't too many muddy spots, so my road shoes felt fine.

I won't claim I was ever challenging the leaders, it was a quality field which I was relatively well back in, but at least I felt like I was pushing myself to do as well as I could. Then on the second main lap (there was one small one then two big ones) I hit a spot of mud, went flat on my face and skidded on my stomach across the grass. That's why I don't like cross country...

Luckily it was a soft landing, so I didn't do any damage. I got up, started to carry on then realised I'd lost my number so had to go back for it. But my confidence was utterly shot. Although I was physically OK, I only felt like I could run the very easiest sections of the course, and anything remotely challenging reduced me to walking pace.

Luckily I was only a mile or so from the end, but it was still disappointing when I'd finally felt like I was getting into the swing of things.

I still finished 3rd of my clubs 6 runners, so it wasn't a disaster, and we were never exactly challenging for a prize so it didn't really matter and gave me a story to tell at the end, but it would be nice to finally conquer a cross country course as I think that's the only thing that's going to get me to like it in the future - if I can persuade myself that I can do it.

Ah well, maybe another time.

YP's compendium of bizarre running injuries

2008-01-15T17:17:00.000Z

I'm lucky, I've never had a proper running injury. My knees remain intact, my ankles have been fairly strong since I started running, and my shoes don't give me blisters.

But as for the rest of my kit, it seems intent to injure me. Not in the normal places, my nipples are fine. But that doesn't excuse

Chaffed Arse. Well, the small of my back, but arse sounds more dramatic. Develops on long runs when I put something in the back pocket of my tights or shorts.

Chaffed stomach. No apparent reason for this one. I mean, I know I put on a bit of weight over Christmas, but I thought that lycra stretched...

Zip related ankle injury. Yup, the zip on my running tights rubbed my ankle and broke the skin. Which means that in the dead of winter I'm running in capris so I don't aggravate it while it heals.

Garmin wrist. Apparently I'm not the only sufferer of this one, but my new Garmin has given me a huge and painful bruise on my wrist. Advice seems to be that wearing a sweatband under it should resolve the problem. But no doubt the sweatband will then gang up with the rest of my kit and decide to chafe.

Pass the vaseline.

Distance

2008-01-12T18:23:00.000Z

So, after a bit of recovery, a bit of fun racing the HPTT and a bit of rest, it's time to start building up for FLM, and taking things seriously. This time round I'm adding a bit more speedwork into the schedule (assisted by the Garmin and its ability to put me through my paces on interval workouts), and trying to do something more than lots of miles all at a similar pace. Hopefully that will be the breakthrough I need for sub 3:45.

Today was my first real attempt at a long run since Amsterdam. I don't really count New York as a run, and since then I've not done more than 10 miles at once. I've done days when I've done more, 5 miles to HPTT, 5k race, 5 miles back, but not all in one go.

Today's aim was 12 - 14, and I surprised myself by going 15.5, with the last few miles being the fastest as evidence that I still had plenty in the tank to keep on going to somewhere which was more convenient for a bus home. Average pace was 8:52 which isn't too shabby at all (PB marathon pace is 8:49), and I didn't feel like I was pushing it too much. I know it's much faster than the schedules say I should go, but if I feel comfortable on the run I don't like running slower than I have to, particularly when it starts to rain and I start to get hungry!

A little bit of history

2007-12-29T11:39:00.001Z

A few weeks ago my friend alerted me to the fact that no-one had ever won the Hyde Park Time Trial twice, since it was set up at the start of October. We have one win each, and tend to compete against each other quite intensely, so the race was on. She was heading to Hawaii for Christmas, and I was in Spain, but I was back first, and would have the first opportunity to make a challenge.

But first, the anxious wait. There were two events while I was away, and I looked at the results each week to check that no-one had managed a second win. I noticed that in either week I'd have won the race (assuming I ran at roughly the same speed as I usually do), but was relieved that the two winners were both first time winners.

So I got back on Thursday, and the chance was there for me to take glory. Other people have, and will in the future, run the TT faster than I have (or am every likely to achieve). But no-one else can be first to do something, and I wanted to get my name against the "first person to win it twice" line.

I took it surprisingly seriously - laying off the wine for what feels like the first time in weeks last night, and deciding on a shorter warm up than my normal 5 mile jog to the start, so I had a bit more energy. It even worked out that I had a rest day on Friday for ultra-freshness!

I got to the start with one aim in mind. Not a PB, but a win. But then I started to worry. Although the field overall was small, I realised that some of the people there looked pretty nifty and, in particular, that the word was spreading about the lack of multiple wins, and that there was at least one other former winner there talking to her friend about the possibility of her being the first to do it. I keep on forgetting that they were probably looking at me and thinking exactly the same thing!

Then the start. Unusually I was right at the front, and the first woman to really get going. In the first 500metres or so one of the other former winners went past me, and I started to worry because I didn't know how fast she was, but she ended up sitting just 5 metres or so in front of me, and I relaxed. The two times I've run the race before I've always moved up the field in the second and third laps, as my start isn't the fastest, and I knew she was close enough to me to catch easily.

It actually happened earlier than I thought. As usual it was on the slight hill up one side of the park. I was right on her heels, then alongside her, and by the time we got to the 2k marker I was starting to open up a bit of a gap. And from there it just continued to open. It was a bit hard to know how to pace it here - should I hammer it to put her out of sight, aim to get a big PB but risk fading, or should I just play it safe and take it steady-ish unless she started to close the gap. Steady-ish in this context is still pretty fast, it's just not top speed.

In the end I did slow a bit on the second and third laps, but still went fast enough to take about 20 seconds off my PB and get it down to 22:31 (incidentally beating Eleanor's fastest time on the course - even though I'd beaten her the only time we both raced, her fastest time was faster than my fastest). And of course, more importantly I got that win.

It was a real confidence boost. It proved to me that my first win wasn't a fluke, and it reminded me that I CAN run. It also reinforced that I can set myself tough sounding goals and then deliver on them. I turned up to a race with the intention of winning it, and that's precisely what I did.

It also gave me a bit of an opportunity to play with my Garmin. I like all the feedback I get off it when I get back to the computer, but I'm still fiddling around with it to get it how I like it when it's on my wrist. I guess I'm just used to how the Polar operates, which button I need to press etc, so it's just getting used to the new system.

New Toy

2007-12-28T20:49:00.000Z

It was always going to happen eventually. I got a Garmin.

My Polar has done well, but the footpod has got very temperamental. Then I got the low battery indicator on the wrist unit. And I saw a decently priced 305 in the sales. Which was less than the christmas money I got from my grandparents.

It would have been stupid to resist. I can download the RW training schedule onto it, and I will have no excuse for failing to go under 3:45. Or that's the plan.

Now I've just got to log the miles into it...

And Onwards...

2007-12-13T19:55:00.001Z

Yes, I'm marathon training again. I got a place for London! The one I watched on tv to start off this mad idea that I'd like to run a marathon someday, but which I've never run.

I didn't get in through the main ballot, and I couldn't commit to raising enough money for a charity place, but my running club came up trumps and gave me one of their three places.

As I type, my entry form is speeding its way down to London, special delivery, and this time they can't turn me down!

Wooooooo

Hooooooo

Placing

2007-12-08T20:38:00.000Z

HPTT again today. I quite like running down, racing, then doing a bit more to cool down. It was also partly motivated by the fact that you get points for just turning up so, even with a hangover, I knew I'd be in the top 5 or so, getting 95ish points, as opposed to not turning up and getting nothing. Even if you don't race, it's worth making your long run route go via the time trial...

This time I finished third. I didn't win, some faster people turned up, but I beat Eleanor which made me happy. Of course, I have nothing against her, and it's a purely healthy rivalry, but I was worried that she's been getting faster than me so it was nice to be able to reassert my speed and my record of her never having beaten me.

The race was almost identical to last week. My time was 2 seconds faster, and it was very similar in that other people started faster, then I overtook them. I overtook one person at the end of the shorter first lap, Eleanor going up the slight hill on the first long lap. We then did pretty much a whole lap together, one going ahead then the other, and then going up the hill for the third time I opened up a gap she couldn't close. That hill is my friend, clearly, as it's where I overtook everyone last week too!

I've started to notice how consistent I am. I was impressed over summer that I did 2 10ks and had 5 seconds difference between them, now I've done 2 5ks with a 2 second gap. I have a speed, and that's how fast I run, whether I want to or not!

Tomorrow is the santa dash - a whole mile, wearing a santa suit. I want to go for a run along the canal either before the dash or after it, depending on the weather. I feel closer to grandma there - it's the same canal that she used to play on, that her family used to work, and it leads directly to the pub we're going to after the funeral on Tuesday. I'm at the other end of the canal here, but it's still her canal.

And a bit of a canal run might get me in the mood for re-starting mara training...

Abbey Dasy - Take 3

2007-11-25T15:08:00.000Z

I can't believe that I've managed to run the same race three years in a row. That I've been running for long enough to have run the same race three years in a row. And that I've got faster each time.

The first year I was ecstatic to get under an hour (59:19). The second year I was just about getting my legs sorted after Berlin and Amsterdam half and was nowhere near my PB (52:04, against a PB of 47:47). This year I wasn't quite sure what to expect.

I've found it quite difficult to recover from doing back to back marathons. It wasn't so bad recovering from the first to do the second, but the second took a lot more out of me. It was a similar story to last year when I did Amsterdam half perhaps too soon after Berlin. I wanted to get under 50 minutes so that I could say that none of my 10ks this year were over 50 minutes (after two close shaves in summer - 49:55 and 49:50, when I was recovering from Edinburgh). My PB has gone down a bit this year, but is still in the 47s. Realistically, I thought I'd probably be looking at 49:30 or thereabouts, I've put a bit of weight on since Amsterdam, and I've not really found my running mojo.

Hence I started at the back of the 50 minutes or under group. I should remember when doing that that if I'm realistic about my finish time, it doesn't mean that everyone else will be, and I basically spent the whole race overtaking. It was quite good starting with slightly slower runners as it meant that I didn't hare off, but after 2k I realised that I was definitely in sub:50 form, so tried to pick the pace up a bit as I didn't feel like I was working as hard as I could be.

The route has changed a bit this year from the previous two years, but it's just the start and a bit in the middle. You still get to see everyone coming back as you head out. Particularly if you start far enough back that the leaders are at the 1k mark by the time you cross the start line.

I had some cheerleaders at 4.5k/5.5k. They were actually one of the main reasons I dragged myself out of bed to run, because they'd told me they'd made signs and I wanted to see them! They weren't just cheering me, by the way, but did have signs with my name on it which was nice, and a first for me.

I'm starting to find that 10ks are a different challenge to what they used to be. The distance doesn't bother me at all. The first time I had to grit my teeth just to make sure I was still running by the finish, and last summer I was still taking walk breaks from time to time. Now I know that I can do the distance fairly easily, the challenge is making sure I keep the pace up, and don't let myself slack off. If I lose concentration I can start to slow down a bit, so I have to keep spotting targets to overtake. But starting where I did, I found that there were plenty of those and overtook far more people than overtook me.

I got to the turn in 24:27 so I knew that sub 50 was on if I kept running at that pace. Then, something rare for me happened. I actually managed to pull a negative split out of the bag. Maybe I have before, I don't always take my time at the half way mark, but I did the second half in 23:35, for a total time of 48:12.

That was a lot closer to my PB than I'd been expected, and for a crowded race where I had to weave around quite a bit, I was quite pleased with that. Not a PB, but a good post-marathon run out.

Bad Blogger

2007-10-23T19:19:00.001+01:00

Recently my focus has been on anything but marathon training, so things have been a bit quiet over here. But nevertheless I did manage a new PB, and the full report is over on my main blog. Now I'm trying to recover for my next marathon - in 12 days time!

GNR Preparation

2007-09-20T19:40:00.001+01:00

Things I've never done in preparation for a race:

1. Booked a pre-race haircut

2. Revised.

Number 1 is due to the horrifying possibility of being caught on live tv while running. I'm hoping that having bouncy, shiny hair will make up for the fact that I'll be sweating and wearing lycra. Also we're meeting up for a pre-run meal on Saturday night, so I figured that as I'll be meeting some of my heros, I should really make a bit of an effort. Then hopefully the shiny hair will survive the night, in preparation for the BBC's planned attempts to interview us either before the start or on the way round. If you're watching on tv, keep an eye out for us!

Number 2 feels a bit stalkerish, but I wanted to do it. Mike has written a book, together with his wife Erica who is also running, about his career, and his illness. I kind of felt like I wanted to read it before meeting them, partly so that I don't say anything stupid, partly to get an idea of what treatment he's been through since he dropped out of the public eye, and also to get an idea of what he's like. From the tv interview I saw, it seems like communication is a relatively slow task for him, so I wanted to read about him in his own words to make up for the fact that he might not be able to talk to me much in person. Also, he was a bit before my time, in rugby terms, so I want to read about some of the moments I never actually saw at the time.

In terms of the actual running part, I'm vastly overtrained, so not in the slightest worried about that. Hopefully overconfidence won't lead to me completely mucking things up, but at this stage of marathon training 13 slow miles shouldn't be an issue. As long as I can slow down enough I should be fine!

Good long run

2007-09-08T14:27:00.001+01:00

I had a surprisingly good long run today. My training this time rounds seems to have been a bit disrupted, with holidays and climbing and relay races, which have interfered with getting proper long runs in. I've been managing to fit in runs up to about 15 miles, but not as many really long ones.

Today's task was to change that, and boy did I succeed. 22 miles! I set off with a vague idea of where to go, but hadn't plotted it out properly on a map. As ever, as I was running I came up with a couple of ideas to make it a bit more off road (and a bit longer), and because I've only just put my footpod on my new trainers they haven't been calibrated yet and I wasn't exactly sure of my distance.

But when I got to the turning round point, I'd already been running for over 2 hours, and I knew it was over an hour back to town, which would take me past my normal long run duration of about 3 hours. When I set off I'd been intending to run back home rather than into town, but when I'm running along the canal I know it's flat and easy into town, and hilly and nasty to home, so I tend to end up in town and get a bus back. I can cope with hills at the start of a long run, but after about 15 miles they look rather less appealing!

I seemed to be going a bit slower than I normally do even on long runs, but not horribly slow (9:20 pace). Probably about right, really. I kept running to the end, and only took a couple of walk breaks when I came across some tricky off road bits, and with a couple of brief stops to work out which direction I should be going in. My last real walk break was after about 1:40, so I was pleased that I managed to finish the run as strong as I started it.

In the end just over 22 miles took me 3:25. That's not bad at all, really.

I walked around in town for about half an hour at the end, dripping sweat and eating before I could face the bus ride home - not least because I wasn't keen on sitting down until I'd cooled down a bit as I feared that I might not be able to get up again! And now I have the rest of the weekend off, there is something immensely satisfying about getting your long run done first thing on Saturday!

Leeds Country Way

2007-09-03T21:40:00.000+01:00

I've updated this blog so little recently that it must seem like I haven't been running. I have, just not with any real consistency, and I haven't raced for an age. I've been ticking over, but not feeling really good about my running. Just doing enough to get by, but having to take more unplanned rests from training than I'd like, so it's been very up and down. Nothing very interesting to write about.

Anyway, yesterday I took part in the Leeds Country Way relay race. This is a 64 mile race which is split into 6 legs of 9 - 11 miles each, which you have to run in pairs (12 people per team). It's mainly off road, and it's not marshalled so you have to navigate a bit too, from a sheet of the most cyptic instructions you could imagine. We went out for a recce of the leg I was doing a few weeks back, but I was hungover and it felt like the worst torture imaginable, not to mention unbelievably complicated and easy to get lost so I wasn't looking forward to doing it again!

We were leg 2 so we had the benefit of knowing roughly when we were going to start. As the race gets further advanced, the margins for over/under estimating the times of the previous runners get wider and wider, whereas at least we only had one leg before us. It also meant that we were running at a pretty normal time, rather than early morning or mid afternoon.

I've never done that sort of relay before, and didn't really know what to expect. As we got there, some of the faster runners were already coming through, and we were a bit unprepared when we were standing having a chat and suddenly saw some purple coming round the corner, so had to dash to the handover point to set off. The first leg got to us well within the cut-off time, which meant that we got to carry the baton round with us (so it doesn't take too long, if they don't make it by a certain point there is a "mass" start, so the next leg can set off before the previous runners arrive, but if you do that it means the baton doesn't make it all the way round).

The run itself was surprisingly manageable. I suppose it's not exactly unexpected that it was better than last time I did it, when I felt like death, but knowing what was coming and how far each little bit was made it easier to say to myself that I just had to get over this field or up this hill before there was an easy bit. The ground was treacherous in places (one field in particular where I nearly went over on my ankle about five times), and some of the fields had been ploughed or harvested since we did the recce, but we didn't get lost (a minor miracle!). There were only a couple of points where we had to stop to look at the instructions, which was pretty good.

I was surprised at how spaced out all the teams were. During the whole leg (just over 11 miles) we didn't overtake anyone, and no-one overtook us. We occasionally saw two other runners in the distance. It was a good job we weren't relying on being able to follow someone else (although it may be that that's not a good idea anyway, as apparently quite a lot of people did manage to get lost - despite us not seeing anyone, we apparently overtook two teams, who must have been way off track for us not to notice them).

We got to the handover point about 20 minutes inside the cut-off for our leg, which pleased the runners after us. They had been worried that the start of their leg was quite narrow, and they didn't want to be involved in a mass start because they were aiming to run the fastest time for their leg. We handed the baton on, and they headed into the distance. It was then nearly 15 minutes before anyone behind us turned up!

It was quite fun, and nice to be part of a team event (we got to have a bit of a chat with the support crew at the changeovers, and some of the people on the other two teams (mens and mixed) the club put out (the mixed team beat their cut-off at our handover point by about 10 seconds, everyone was lining up for the mass start when our mixed leg 2 team came round the corner). The odd thing was not having a clue how the team did overall, or where we placed on our leg. Because the winners of each leg are done on their time for just that leg, you could be one of the last teams in and still win it if you started last and made loads of time up, and the marshalls at the change over point know what time you finished, but not what time you set off. I could have gone to the prize giving at the end to find out, but finishing running at 11.25 meant that we went for Sunday lunch at my grandparents' house instead, rather than going up to a random leisure centre at 5pm...

But I was quite surprised when I looked at last years results and saw that the ladies winners of leg 2 took 1:48 to do the leg. Yesterday we managed 1:41 according to my watch. I didn't do it last year, but have heard stories that it was very hot. Maybe that explains why the winning time was so slow, but with a time of 1:41 we might not have done too badly. In the end we came 4th, which isn't bad as there were apparently 12 womens teams. Anyway, we made sure that the baton made it onto leg 3 (although one of the runners on leg 3 fell, which meant it didn't make it any further), which is a nice feeling. Also, given that off road miles are much slower than road miles, 1:41 isn't a bad time for me over 11 miles compared to my road half marathon PB of 1:43. It's certainly better than the 2 hours plus it took to recce it!

So now I'm trying to decide whether to race again before GNR. I kind of feel like I want to do a race to measure my progress, because I haven't raced for so long, but equally this is an important month for long runs, so maybe those would benefit me more. Decisions decisions.

Great North Run

2007-08-07T19:30:00.001+01:00

Details have been confirmed - click here to find out what I'm doing!

More info

Member's Meander

2007-07-19T18:55:00.001+01:00

This was a bit different for a change, last night was the annual member's meander handicap race at running club. I've done shorter timetrials before, but this was almost 7 miles and a bit more challenging. I wasn't quite sure what to expect, I was a little concerned about the expected time they'd put down for me which put me far further back in the field than I was hoping, but actually it wasn't too far off. I overtook more people than overtook me, and finished about a minute outside my expected time, which wasn't too bad considering how muddy parts of the course were (not to mention the bit of the course which had partially disappeared into the river in the floods a few weeks ago and had to be carefully negotiated).

And of course, the thing that guaranteed a substantial turnout wasn't the fact that the sun made one of its rare appearances, it was the free food at the end...

When I got home I got some good news. It looks like I'll be doing the Great North Run with Matt as well as New York. This is pretty good news because it gives me the chance to see what sort of pace I'll be running at in New York and see how hard it is. I also get to enjoy the GNR atmosphere without getting frustrated by the slower moving runners, because I'll be one of them! Then I can make an informed decision about whether to do the full in Amsterdam, and how much energy I need to leave in my legs for New York.

Great Capital Run

2007-07-17T20:26:00.000+01:00

This was my first "Great" run, and I wasn't sure what to expect from it. I didn't know how my legs would feel, and I didn't know how crowded it would be. Last year this race wasn't "Great", and it was a free for all at the start. This year there were different waves, but the success of that sort of start really does depend on people entering an honest time when they apply.

Since Edinburgh I've not felt like I'm running at my best. Some people seem to come off a marathon and whip round shorter races. I've been struggling, and I'm certainly not back at the speed I was before the marathon. But I was hoping that a couple of extra weeks since my last 10k (the Jane Tomlinson race) might have put some speed back in my legs.

On the other hand, my preparation on the Saturday was a bit altered from normal. Because I travelled down to London and spent the day with Jen, I ended up getting up earlier, drinking more, and eating more than I normally would the day before a race. And while I slept fairly well (for me), there's something about waking up in a strange bed and having a slightly different breakfast that just throws me a bit.

When we got to the race I had a bit of a jog round before the warmup, and realised that I didn't quite feel on top form. On Wednesday I fell on a club run and on Thursday my knee had ached a bit during a short run. I hadn't run since then and my knee did feel a lot better, but I just didn't feel like I was going to run particularly close to my PB. My fall back plan was to at least beat my Jane Tomlinson time ot 49:55.

The waved start worked pretty well for me. I can't remember what time I put down, but as it was in 5 minute increments I may have put 45 down rather than 50 (based on a PB of 47). That got me into the second proper wave to set off, and although I certainly wasn't one of the fastest in the wave, I certainly wasn't the slowest and I wasn't overtaken by too many from the wave behind who set off 3 minutes later.

Last year I was dodging walkers very early on in the race, this year it was pretty much clear and uncongested from fairly close to the start. There were plenty of people running of course, but there was always room to go round them without having to weave too tightly. Also far better than Jane Tomlinson. Last year it was also VERY hot, and despite the rubbishness of the summer so far, the sun came out again. Fantastic timing. The first time it's been seen for weeks and it beats down on my head during a race. It wasn't as hot as last year, but I still think it slowed me down a little, partly because I'm so unused to running in it!

I started off a bit fast, and then decided to take it easier. Unlike last year I kept running all the way round, and because the route doubles back in itself for a lot of the way, it was nice seeing the runners from later waves coming round. And the elite women and men who were way ahead of us. I saw Jen and gave her a wave, and saw some impressive looking fancy dress costumes (how anyone could think of running as a tap I'll never know...).

By half way I knew that a PB wasn't on, so just focussed on getting under 50 minutes. At 9k I was a little bit behind target so tried to pull off a fast finish, typically on the main uphill stretch of the course. Still, I managed to pass a fair few people going up (although not, sadly, the beer bottle which overtook me just before 9k), and snuck under my JT time at 49:50. I was 974th out of ???? (plus I did better than the thousands who registered and didn't turn up) which isn't too bad.

I'm kind of disappointed with that, because I know I can run faster than just sneaking under 50 minutes each time, but equally I'm quite happy that I now think of 50 minutes as a "disappointing" 10k time. Last year I just snuck under the hour, whereas now I'm consistently sub-50. And even though I've slowed down compared to my times immediately before Edinburgh, I'm still faster than I was when I started training for Edinburgh so there's no reason why I can't get back up to that standard again before Amsterdam.

I guess it doesn't hurt to have a reminder every now and then that you have to work to maintain form, it's not just a case of training up and then miraculously staying at that level. And if I peak for the right events, what's the harm in having some slower "fun" races in between. I don't need to get a PB every time I run.

In terms of the "Great" run experience, the bands didn't really increase my enjoyment of the race that much, the banded start was good, and the baggage reclaim was a shambles. There was lots of water and lucozade, so bonus points for that, and the t-shirt and medal were decent quality. It's sometimes nice to take part in an "event" rather than a "race", particularly when I'm not in racing form. But is it worth paying the substantial premium for it? I'm not sure to be honest. For that, possibly because the race entry was only part of the cost of the weekend - by the time I'd paid for train fares and meals out etc. But if it was closer to home, I'm not sure that there's much added value over a £6 club run 10k.

New York

2007-07-07T20:23:00.001+01:00

If you read my other blog, you may agree with me that it's kind of ironic that just as I start to think about scaling things back I sign up to something challenging like back to back marathons. On different continents. Oh well...

I'm fed up of not being able to talk about this, so it's time to get it out there. On 4 November I will be running in the New York Marathon for a charity called XIII Heroes. Even though I'd already signed up for Amsterdam by this point (that is on 21 October*), the opportunity to get involved with this was too good to turn down. Admittedly I was very drunk when I first agreed to do it, but since then I've had time to consider it sober and it still seemed like a good idea.

It's no ordinary charity place. I've always said that I wouldn't do a race through a charity just to get into it. There are other races I can do while waiting to get a place of my own in the big ones, whether it's through ballots or qualifying times or club places. So finding myself signed up to a charity complete with a mandatory fund raising target is a bit of a turnaround. But it's a bit special.

Last year XIII Heroes helped Matt King achieve a world first by completing a half marathon. Matt was very seriously injured a few years ago in a rugby accident, and is now on a ventilator and in a wheelchair. He's the first person to do a half marathon in that condition, and wants to be the first to complete a full one too. For the Great North Run he had a team running with him, for support, fund raising, moving discarded water bottles out of the way and stuff like that, and that's what I'll be doing in New York. I've achieved a dream by running a marathon, and it's time to help someone else do the same thing.

This might actually help me slow down and take the pressure off. We'll be running as a team, at the speed of the slowest runner. The slowest runner won't be me. Because I won't be aiming for a fast time, I can (hopefully) relax and enjoy it. Well, as much as you can enjoy running a marathon on tired legs...

So it's not just "go to New York for a run", it's more "go to New York to do something special and have a once in a lifetime experience", and that's why I'm prepared to put my anti-charity places rants behind me and dive straight into fundraising. However, that means that it's time for a shameless appeal for money.

If you would like to sponsor me, you can do it right now by going to XIII Heroes There's no info on the site yet about the run because it's not being officially announced until the end of the month, but I promise you it's happening. Because it's a general donation link rather than an individual one just for me, if you'd like to help me reach the personal fund raising target I've been set, it's important that you put my name in the notes section when you donate then it can be allocated to me. For those of you who don't know what my name is, cut and paste "I'd like to sponsor Helen Goldthorpe to run the New York Marathon".

There is obviously no obligation to donate money, or to donate any given amount of money. I'm going into this with my eyes open, and I know that if I fall short of my target I'll have to make up the difference. No matter how much I raise I will be making a sizeable personal donation, (not least because I'd feel guilty about getting other people to pay for me to go to New York for a week without contributing myself) but I'd love that donation to be in addition to the target they've set me rather than part of it. I have to provide the minimum sponsorship in stages by certain dates, so please don't wait until after the race if you're going to sponsor me. The earlier you can contribute, the less you'll have to suffer me begging as 14th September and the deadline for the first installment approaches!

*The status of Amsterdam is unclear. As I've entered and paid for flights etc, I'm going to train as though I'm running both. But if I don't feel right closer to the day, I might drop out of Amsterdam, or at least take it gently, rather than letting the team down in New York.

Hah

2007-06-24T21:20:00.000+01:00

I've written before about the first time I really tried to run. I signed up for a 1 mile race in my local park. Although I finished in what was actually a fairly respectable time for a 260lb lump (about 11:30), I was mortified that while I was walking up a hill, I was overtaken by a local tv presenter who was, should we say, not in the first flush of youth, and who was pushing a pram.

Well, he did the same race as me today. 2:14. I finished in 49 minutes. I can run a half marathon faster than that (in fact I've never run one slower) Hah.

(Ok, he may have had a good reason for walking (?), but I still beat him. By a long way).

Hah.

(Also, just to show how many walkers there must have been, I finished 641/6076 overall based on chip time - almost top 10%, and 84/1998 - based on gun time - in FSEN, which is top 5%. bearing in mind I ran slower than normal, it just shows the standard of the field I suppose).

Jane

2007-06-24T16:21:00.000+01:00

Today's race was interesting. It was the first running of what may well become a big event, and I wanted to be part of it. I never expected to get a good time, but I still wanted to turn up and run because it was a Jane Tomlinson thing.

For those of you who haven't heard of her, she is a local woman who was diagnosed with terminal cancer about six years ago and given six months to live. She did a marathon, and an ironman, and cycled across America, and across Europe, and generally did all sorts of inspirational fund raising things. But even though she defied the doctors and lived far longer than they were expecting, you get the impression that time is running out for her now. She was heavily involved in the organisation of this 10k, but she didn't run it. She isn't participating any more, and who knows whether she'll be around for the second running of this race. So I wanted to be there for the first one.

It was targetted very much as a charity race rather than a serious runners race. It still surprises me that I find myself falling in the latter category rather than the former. there was an "elite" start for people expecting to run under 40 minutes, but I'm not that fast. (I did have to laugh when someone walked past me on the way to the elite start and motionned for me to come with them. Possibly because there weren't many people wearing club vests, but do I really look elite?! Actually, given the delusions of the people who lined up in the 40 - 60 group with me, I may have been better with the sub-40 runners...)

The start was slow. Lining up at the start was very much a free for all. Even though the PA bloke encouraged people to start somewhere appropriate for their speed, there was no way of enforcing it - no time banded pens or waved starts, so I didn't really get going until about 3k. By which point I'd probably run nearer 4k due to my weaving in and out in an attempt to get anywhere near my normal 10k pace. Even at the end, I was still finding myself having to weave in and out, and constantly vary my pace to deal with the congestion. I have nothing against people walking that sort of event, but it does grate a bit when you try to start in the right place, and come across people walking within the first 500 metres. Particularly when there are four of them, together, dressed in giant balloon costumes. Walk if you want, but preferably not in the way of people who want to actually run the whole thing.

But it wasn't a race about times. It's the first time recently I've really just let myself run to enjoy an event rather than thinking about times and targets. I knew that it probably wouldn't be a PB and I was happy with that. I even cycled to the start on the assumption that it wasn't the sort of race I needed to save every last drop of energy for. Even more unusually, I had a couple of drinks last night, which I never do before a race I'm taking seriously. I was happy to treat it as an experience to be enjoyed rather than anything else.

There were some good bits. Seeing Tracey Morris in full flight for one (I think she was actually in third place overall, beating most of the men). And the bizarre bits like thinking "that smurf needs a better sports bra" and hearing tales of people being overtaken by superman's sprint finish. And all the people who had been inspired to raise money for charity, even if they weren't natural runners.

At the end I was a bit disappointed. The t-shirt was a bit uninspiring, and the "goody bag" was a bottle of lucozade in a plastic bag. I'm sorry, that's not a goody bag. It's a drink. Fair enough if you're paying £6 to enter, but for over £20 with plenty of big name sponsors on board it seemed a bit stingy.

Time wise, I suppose I have to be happy. Two years ago running 10k was a distant dream. This time last year, a good 10k was around, or below, 50 minutes while a vaguely acceptable one was under an hour. Today I ran a congested 10k, without really focussing on it in under 50 minutes, according to my watch (I'm still waiting for my chip time but expect it to be about 49:53). It that's a below my best performance, then it's not exactly something to get upset about.

Next week I have a race which I may well take a little more seriously. Unusually for me it's a 5k. I hate 5ks. You have to go off far too fast, and I'm only just getting going normally by 5k. But it's being sponsored by my firm and I've been press-ganged into turning out for it so we have a decent corporate turn out. Of course, my competitiveness means that I want to beat all the other people from work, which is made slightly trickier by the fact that they're all blokes. But I'm the resident runner, and I don't want them to forget it.

On the other hand, if any of them do happen to beat me, I'll just challenge them to a rematch over a distance of my choice. 26.2 miles should do it...

When is a PB not a PB?

2007-06-14T20:11:00.001+01:00

When it's my 10 mile PB. I've only done two 10 mile races, and I've struggled each time. I always seem to do it on the back of a longer target race, when I've not prepared properly for it. I also seem to choose 10 mile races with horrible horrible hills, which doesn't help.

Anyway, last night I decided to do my longest post Edinburgh run yet in the Otley 10. I should be able to run 10 miles, surely? Hmm.

It was pouring with rain at the start, and even though I'd been wondering for the past week or so whether it was such a good idea to race again so soon, I decided to turn up on the basis that it would make me do something a bit longer. I really did wonder why when I saw how horrible the weather was. But all of the group I normally run with at running club were going, so if I'd opted for the shorter training run I wouldn't have had anyone to run with, and it would still have been wet. It was an evening race, which meant that I didn't really know how to prepare, and I ended up sticking to my normal weekday routine, which maybe left me a bit tireder than I would normally be for a race.

The first four miles weren't too bad. They were flat, and I was motoring along at a decent pace, but once I hit the hills (one of which had a 16% gradient sign!) I just fell apart. I started getting stomach cramps of a magnitude not experienced since Berlin, and I mentally just gave in. Because I'd never really been focussed on the race I guess it just didn't matter to me, and I thought I may as well just treat it as a training trot out. Except I don't normally walk on training runs, which is precisely what I ended up doing here.

Some of the time it wasn't even that I couldn't cope with the hills, or that my legs didn't have the energy, it was the pain in my stomach that stopped me running with any fluency. I even had to take walk breaks going downhill, which is not at all like me.

I'm not sure whether I ate too close to the race (but I did leave nearly 3 hours), or whether it was something more serious - I ate some pineapple earlier in the day which could have been past its best, but it wasn't just during the race. At 1am I woke up with horrible stomach pain and really doubted whether I'd be in a fit state to come into work today, it was so bad. I eventually got to sleep with the aid of painkillers, and even though I feel a bit better now (and was able to cycle into work), there's something not quite right there still.

Anyway, on paper I still got a 10 mile PB, but it's a bit hollow. I know that I have run 10 miles faster than that in all of my half marathons this year, as well as in the first 10 miles of Edinburgh. I know that I could do so much better than I did, but it just wasn't the night for me to do it. I've got another 10 miler in mind in August which might give me a chance to show what I can do.

But even before then my next race is more targetable. I'm doing a 10k and although it's a big race which may well be pretty crowded and not necessarily PB material, I get the impression that due to the way it's been marketed, a lot of the people running it will be novices, and it might not be so bad amongst the sub-50 runners. A bit more speedwork, and keeping up the reduced mileage might let me put in a decent performance in that one.

Targets

2007-06-08T22:08:00.000+01:00

So, I don't think I'll ever knock 59:15 off a PB again, but I still have targets.

Amsterdam - sub 3:45. I actually printed out a sub 3:30 schedule earlier, not because I think I'll be that fast, but because I want to be between 3:30 and 3:45, so I thought I'd print out the schedules on either side of my target.

Actually, I was shocked earlier. I knew that I'd beaten the times of the three girls who did London this year from my running club, but I started looking back through times. Last year at London only one of my club "colleagues" was faster than I managed in Edinburgh, and in Berlin 4 of what I consider to be the "fast" group (all men) ran, and only 2 beat my Edinburgh time - and one of those only beat me by a minute. OK, I know Berlin last year was horrible, because I was there, but still, it made me realise how well I actually did.

My other target for the next couple of months isn't the 10ks I'm doing. I've got 2 lined up before I ramp up the mileage again, but they're both big races and possibly too crowded for a good time. But I've got a 5k. My firm is sponsoring it, and they've asked for people to turn out for a big "corporate" presence. It's not far away so I've said I'll do it. But then I started thinking, it's only a small race, and if I can finish 9th woman in Pulse when I was trying not to push it pre-Edinburgh, maybe I can actually get a decent placing. And of course I want to beat all the other people from work. So maybe that's my target race rather than the 10ks. Although racing a 5k scares me. I've only ever done 2, one was RFL which was my first race, and the other was over a year ago. the first mile and the last mile of any race are always hard, and with a 5k that doesn't leave much in between. It scares me that I now think of a 5k as a "sprint" rather than something to be slogged through to the end, but that's how I now see it, and I'm not looking forward to running that fast after all the distance running, but I have professional pride to maintain if other people from work are there!

So the next month will be spent on speedwork. I know I can run 3.1 miles, but can I run it fast enough?

3:52:11

2007-06-03T13:20:00.000+01:00

A week late, but I've finally got some computer time to record a bit more detail about Edinburgh. The details get hazier in my mind with every day that passes, but here goes.

I felt the preparation went a lot better than for Berlin, and from starting my training with the vague idea of trying to get under about 4:15 this time round and then aiming for sum 4 (0r 3:45) in Amsterdam), I knew in the week leading up to Edinburgh that sub 4 was well within my capabilities, and 3:45 if everything went to plan. I also knew that the fastest marathon time by anyone from Kirkstall this year (so far) was 3:53, and although the girl who did that is usually faster than me, it was a time I felt like I could challenge. During the week I'd actually looked at the splits for about 3:51 and thought that was reasonabl, but there were only pacers for 3:45 and 4:00, and I didn't want to go it alone.

The weather forecast was horrible, and at the start there was torrential rain. I'd remembered to bring some bin bags but hadn't actually tried them on and on Sunday morning realised that they were smaller than they needed to be. I cowered under my umbrella until I needed to hand my bag in, then hid in shop doorways for as long as possible before the start. I did at least have an old t-shirt which I intended to chuck once we got going which kept me a bit warmer.

I didn't really have any nerves at the start. I guess I'm just getting more experienced, and the start of most races is similar whether it's 5k or 26 miles. You hang around at the start for what seems an eternity, make a few visits to the loo, and size up the competition.

Bizarrely I managed to get into a faster pen than the one I was intending (the times for each pen weren't very well signed and there was no-one checking which pen you were meant to be in), so once the gun went off I hung around waiting for the 3:45 pacers to catch me up before crossing the start mats.

Then, I basically stuck with them for 21 miles. The whole thing seemed a lot easier than Berlin. Then I was starting to feel it by 6 miles, in Edinburgh I was at half way before I realised it. Even though there were plenty of people around me I decided to zone out and listen to my iPod (which I never normally do in races), and just focus on running rather than the atmosphere). I heard a couple of shouts for Kirkstall over my well chosen and motivational playlist (which was 4 hours long as an incentive to finish before it did!). My left achilles started to make its presence felt after about 8 miles, but nothing I couldn't run with.

The rain had stopped shortly after the start, although there was a nasty wind for the first 17 miles. It would be at our backs for the last part of the race, but did I use up too much energy early on? Coming out onto the seafront at Portobello I could see the power station further up the coast, which looked a long way away - it was only when I got there thatI realised that was only at about 13 miles and there were another 4 or so to go before the turn!

I've never actually run over 20 miles continuously before. So to get to 21 miles still with the 3:45 pacers was something of an achievement to me. But my ankle was starting to hurt a bit more, and I knew that realistically I wouldn't stick with them to the end. I don't like taking chances with my left ankle because that's the one I broke, and I knew that if I took it steady I could run/walk to the end and easily break 4 hours, which would be a huge PB and a really good time. So, I reluctantly let the pacers go ahead of me, and I took it steady to the end. Or at least to 25 miles, at which point I decided I was going to run the rest whether I liked it or not.

I crossed the line at 3:52:11, and I'm pretty pleased with that. I know from how I ran that I'm not far off 3:45 - I'm OK for speed, I just need to work on endurance a bit more - if I could have got to 24 with the pacers I'd have kept it up to the end, but at 21 there was just a bit too much running still to be done to stick with them. I know which muscles I could do with strengthening, and I've got another shot at it in Amsterdam.

I'm also, at the moment, the fastest marathoner this year from running club, and I'm sub-4. Sometimes I forget how hard it actually is to do a marathon that fast, particularly for women. Because I can do it, I kind of assume that it can't be a big thing really, but then I sit in the pub with a load of people from RW (and K - lovely to see you!), and realise that I'm the fastest one there. Which isn't bad if you look at where I started.

My legs have never felt quite as dead as when I finished. I really did have to shuffle to the pub, and nearly cried when I realised the bar was upstairs. But a bit of food and beer later, and they felt a lot better, and bizarrely by Monday morning they were almost back to normal. I even felt up to negotiating the Madrid metro (complete with escalator and lift-less steps) with my case on Monday evening, and walking miles round Madrid on Tuesday. On Thursday I ran 3 miles as a birthday "treat", and I've done the same run a couple of times since, together with lots more walking.

So now I'm planning to drop my mileage a bit while I do a couple of summer 10ks, then start building the mileage again in mid July. Because I've got another marathon to train for, and I'm looking forward to it!

GFA or GFB

2007-05-23T21:08:00.000+01:00

The advantage of having come so far on this weight loss and running journey is that I've given up believing that anything is impossible. Or, as the FLM adverts from one of the shoe companies said, Impossible is Nothing. Which one? That's going to bug me now.

Hence I'm currently very very tempted to throw caution to the wind on Sunday. I've talked a couple of times about GFA, but I think it deserves to be renamed. GFB. Go for broke.

I'm confident that I'm in sub-4 hour marathon form. I'm also confident that I'm running well, and one of the faster women I know. Everyone at running club compliments me on my progress. I don't know how much sub-4, but I've seen race time calculators consistently turn out sub 3:45 predictions. It's time to ask myself the question. Do I believe them?

On the one hand I could take the sensible option. Attach myself to the 4 hour pacers like glue, make a late burst if I have the energy and get that time starting with 3. I'm confident that barring anything cropping up on the day (tripping on water bottles, a bad reaction to energy tablets, weather etc), that I could do that.

On the other, I could test myself and see what I can do. I'll never know if I can get that GFA time unless I try. And even if I fail, what's the worst that could happen? Say I drop off the back of the pace group after 16 miles (given that they'll be running a fair bit slower than my HM pace I'm confident of making it at least that far, and the half way time of 1:52:30 would tie in with the recommendation to get there about 10 minutes slower than HM time - 1:43:04). Yes, it will be a long 10 miles to the end, but I'll still PB even if I am overtaken by the 4 hour group.

I was tempted by a third option a few days ago, to head off on my own at a pace between the two groups and see what happens, but that could be the worst of both worlds. A pace group will help me slow down in the early stages then sustain a steady pace for longer, particularly if I can find someone to chat to on the way and we can keep each other going. If my pace starts to slip when I'm on my own there won't be anyone to help me recover.

I know what the sensible thing to do is. I don't need to be told. Nice, slow, even pacing, picking up in the second half if it's going well. But the more I think about it, the more I'm tempted to take the higher risk strategy. If it blows up in my face, what damage have I done? A bit of wounded pride, a lesson learnt for Amsterdam, and the determination to get it right next time. I've thought about it, and I appreciate the risks. I wouldn't attempt it if I didn't at least think there was a 50/50 chance of completing the race at 3:45 pace, but if I don't manage it, it's not the end of the world.

This is ultimately a decision I'll make on Sunday morning. For a start, it depends whether I find the pacers at the start and whether they're in the same pen. I don't want to have to sprint at the start to catch them. It also depends how I'm feeling, what the weather's like, and my mood when I wake up. But I'm starting to actually believe that I might have it in my legs. If I feel less than 50/50 I'll take the 4 hour option. If I feel confident I'm more and more tempted to go for it.

It's more than getting a place in London. I may well do that through the ballot or the club anyway, and even if I don't there are other marathons, and other years to run London. It's something that I feel like I want to achieve so that I can draw a line under the past. One funny thing is that I've started to feel more confident about outing myself to people at running club and people on running forums since I started getting top 10% finishes in races - as though I want to prove myself as a runner before I reveal my obese little secret. If I can get the GFA time then it doesn't matter where I came from, or who I used to be, I've met an objective standard, and can be judged by that.

We'll see...

Top 10!

2007-05-22T18:53:00.000+01:00

It's confirmed. I finighed 9th!!! Out of 94!!!!

94 women turned up and only 8 were faster than me!!! Three years ago I was eight stone overweight and couldn't run to the next lamppost, now I'm actually getting close to being half decent.

I've had a big smile on my face all day. Top 10% in my past two races, a lovely confidence boost for Edinburgh.

PB Alert

2007-05-20T13:44:00.000+01:00

In the end I decided that a bit of speed wouldn't kill me before Edinburgh, so I decided to see what my legs could do without going all out.

My 10k PB from way back last April was 47:44. I've only done two 10ks since then. One very hot race in London last June, the week after a half marathon, and the Abbey Dash shortly after Berlin and Amsterdam. Neither were going to make a dent in what was the high point of my pre-Kirkstall running at Rothwell last year.

I felt like I should be able to knock a bit of time off that PB. Not much, but I thought that something around 46:30 was a reasonable target to hit at some point soon. I just didn't know whether today was the day, or whether the hills on the course and the fear of going out too hard before Edinburgh, combined with my lack of speed training, would mean I fell a bit short.

It was a really local race, so I jogged about a mile to the start to warm up. There were a couple of other people from running club doing it, including someone who has just joined and is also doing Edinburgh. In the club runs we've done so far she's seemed a fairly similar speed to me, so I wanted to beat her as a bit of a confidence boost (not least because she did 4:05 at London and was disappointed with it so entered Edinburgh - so if I can persuade myself I'm faster than her it will give me alast minute burst of confidence).

Not much to relate on the race itself. I realised that I haven't done a 10k recently enough to have any idea about pacing, other than just run for it. Luckily I now think of 10k as fairly short, so I could do just that.

In the end I came in at 47:08 or so, which was a PB but not quite the time I'm aiming for this summer. There were parts of the race where I could have run better though, so it's not unachievable. My time was actually a nice balance between a morale boosting PB and a pace where I'd have tired myself out too much to back up next week.

I think, from my counting on an out and back section near the end, that I may have been in the top 10 or so women. It was only a small race, so that's not quite as impressive as it sounds, but it would still be nice if it's true.

So now the race kit gets washed, and the next time I'll put it in will be in Edinburgh. No second chances now, it's the big one.

Planning

2007-05-19T09:23:00.000+01:00

I think I've decided about pacing at least. In theory I'm not going to go with a pace group in Edinburgh. I've thought about various permutations, and think the best pace for me is actually somewhere between the two. If I feel it's going well after the first half, I can always pick it up a bit, and if I don't I'll be glad I didn't go out with the faster group. The first 6 miles is downhill so it could be tricky not to get carried away. I've actually started writing out a race plan to look at during the week. The slower group is a bit slower than 9 minute miles, I can't remember the exact numbers. I worked out that if I run 9 minute miles I'd be a couple of minutes ahead of them at half way, my target is to stick somewhere between 8:45 and 9 until I see how my legs feel.

I think. I've still got a week to ponder a bit more about how my legs feel and what I think I'm capable of.

I had to stop myself from going on a complete carb spree in Tescos earlier. I managed to get out with a huge loaf of multigrain bread, malt loaf and oatcakes. Although I will be going back during the week for flapjack and other essential supplies.

10 days...

2007-05-17T19:44:00.000+01:00

...and I'm not scared yet. I'm remarkably calm about the whole thing. I know I've trained, I know I'm in far better shape than before Berlin, and I know I'll do fairly well. The thought of running 26.2 miles doesn't daunt me, and I just want to get on with it!

First I need to get through the taper without eating my own bodyweight in jaffa cakes and pasta (must repeat a million times - carb loading means eating a higher proportion of carbs, not eating more food...). I need to write list after list after list of things I need to organise, buy and pack for Edinburgh and Spain. I need to find some maps of Edinburgh to help me find the hotel, the expo and the airport, I need to work out what time I need to leave to get up to Edinburgh early enough on the Saturday (without setting off too early that I mess up my sleep patterns). I need to work out what to put in my kit bag, particularly food and drink for after the race which is an area I failed miserably on in Berlin (I had stuff with me, but not stuff I could face eating).

I suppose it's good that my obsessional, planning and list writing tendencies come out at this stage because it takes my mind off the fact that I'm not actually meant to be running or indeed doing much else with my time. I need to rest as much as I can, wrap myself in cotton wool, avoid getting injuries or a cold or anything else, and tick down the sleeps til the big day. I need to remind myself not to ride my new bike when I pick it up on Saturday too, which will be hard! I don't want to stress muscles which aren't used to being used, and more importantly I don't want to fall off it (unlikely, but possible as I haven't cycled regularly for years).

There's just one big decision left. Pacing for the big day. In Berlin my plan was very much to run as far as I could, then finish. It got me a medal, but left me feeling a bit disappointed. In the circumstances it was quite possibly the best approach, but I want to run a marathon properly this time. So, do I go with the pacing group that's a bit over 30 seconds/mile slower than half marathon pace and see how long I can hack it for, or do I go with the pacing group that's another 30 seconds or so slower than that, which I'm confident I should be able to stick with the whole way round. I should be able to stick with the faster group in theory, but theory and practice are two different things when it comes to marathon day!

(Oh, the other decision, do I race my 10k on Sunday, or just plod round it? I had an idea of a time I'd like to achieve if I go all out - and think it is realistic - then I looked at last years results and saw that because it's such a small race, that time would actually have got me third place! No doubt there will be a faster field to foil me this year, but you never know... I could wait and get the target time in another race, but the other 10ks I'm doing this summer are bigger with therefore less chance of winning a prize if I manage it)

top 75!

2007-05-14T21:27:00.000+01:00

I wasn't planning to race this one as such, just get round comfortably. Even though my legs feel pretty good at the moment I don't want to overdo it before the marathon, and with this being my local half and something we use as a club run, I know that it's pretty hilly and not a PB course. It was also a lot bigger and more crowded than most halves I've done, so it was difficult to get into the right pace. Even in the last stretch there were times when you struggled to find room to overtake.

I half considered trying to run it at marathon pace as a training run, but I felt I could do a bit better than that, even if I didn't challenge my 1:43 PB. I was aiming for somewhere under 1:50, to keep my record for this year intact of not being over 1:50 for a half, but I didn't plan to go all out.

I started off (downhill) a bit fast, but really eased off on a long uphill stretch between about two and four miles. I know this hill, and it's nasty, so my only aim was to keep on running and not think that because I planned to take it relatively easy it was OK to take a walk break. I made it up, and got a nice bit of downhill to recover a bit. I promptly started to speed back up again. My pacing was all over the place, I was probably running at a relatively constant effort, but because of the hills I was running nowhere near a consistent pace (compared to Ackworth where I was pretty steady all the way round).

It was nice on the way round seeing people from running club cheering us on (lazy gets - why weren't they running?!), and my familiarity with the course meant I knew when to push the pace a bit, and when to prepare for an uphill. But even so it wasn't the most scenic half I've ever done, or the fastest. It was well organised though, I'll give it that.

I got into a bit of a battle with someone from running club during the second half of the race. He actually really winds me up by sticking to me like glue, so when I saw him ahead of me I was tempted to just sit behind him for a while so he didn't spot me. Then he started slowing so I went past him, and then couldn't shake him off. I went faster, so did he. I eased off to see if he'd go ahead, so did he. At Ackworth I managed to get clear of him, but I couldn't this time round. He's really annoying in that he sticks really close to you which can make it hard to overtake other groups, because he blocks the gap that you're trying to run through.

Eventually at about 10 miles he got a bit ahead, and I let him go. At this stage I knew I was on to finish in the 1:40s even if I didn't push it, so I decided to coast in a bit. In the back of my mind was the fact that it was chip timed, and he'd started a fair way ahead of me, so even if he beat me by 30 seconds or so I'd still beat him on my chip time. I didn't want to push the last bit because I knew that could make the difference between a bit of light tiredness and aching legs, which I want to avoid at this stage of marathon training. Even on this stretch it was pretty crowded and there were times when it was hard to get past people, and then there was an evil uphill bit right at the end.

I made it across the line in 1:47, but my chip time was 1:45. (And yes, the other guy's chip time was 1:46, so I did beat him) For something I wasn't intending to race, that's not bad at all - still my second fastest half (on the hardest course I've raced), and a decent improvement on my first two halves of the year which were both pancake flat. Easing off on the early hill gave me a nice negative split, despite the coasting at the end. I didn't trash my legs too much (which I might have done if I'd tried to race those last three miles or up the early hill), but it's a nice confidence boost before Edinburgh.

I picked up my goodie bag and rucksack at the end (I got a spot prize in my goodie bag - but can someone please tell me why they put an XL fleece as a prize in a bag with a medium t-shirt?), and headed off for a shower, thereby missing the most exciting part of the day.

I got to the pub and was informed that we might have actually won something! Apparently, and I'm still checking the truth of this, we won the ladies team prize. I didn't hang around at the end, but a club mate who finished half an hour behind me said that she heard them announcing it when she was at the finish. It turns out I wasn't a scorer (I was the fourth female finisher from the club and only the first three count), but it's still pretty impressive for the ladies team.

I can't find the team results to check exactly how it was worked out, but the individual ones are very interesting. I didn't quite realise beforehand what a slow race it is overall. Considering my time was 1:45 which is decent but not ultra fast, I was surprised that I finished 34/539 in the FOpen category, and 74th woman overall (out of 943). That's well inside the top 10% in both categories. I'm normally between the top 20 and 25%, not so high up. Finishing in the top 75 at a fairly big half actually sounds pretty impressive. I'm also chuffed that I beat the personal trainer from the gym by a good 15 minutes (I really expected him to at least get under 2 hours, but he just missed out).

So now I'm well and truly tapering. I won't run more than 7 miles or so now before Edinburgh. I've got a few club runs, a 10k on Sunday and that's about it. I might have a go at my 10k PB depending how I feel, but really now it's just a case of making sure I get to the start line without messing anything up in the meantime. It's nearly time to start alternating between excitement and nervousness, and to start obsessively writing lists. 13 days and counting.

So, that's that then

2007-05-08T20:17:00.001+01:00

Less than 3 weeks to go, and training is pretty much done and dusted. It's time to taper. Of course that doesn't mean three weeks of doing nothing, I've got a half marathon this weekend and a 10k next weekend, and I'm still going to do some decent runs before the big day, but I've done the last of the really long ones.

Even though it "only" ended up being about 18.5 miles, I'm really proud of myself for doing it. I was away for the weekend at the rugby, and quite often in that situation I'd take my running stuff and tell myself that I'd run "if I felt like it". I'd then sink copious amounts of alcohol, or food, or have a late night and of course I wouldn't feel like it in the morning. Or I'd worry about getting lost, and I would back out.

This time, I told myself I was running. I found myself a route that I couldn't get lost on (hmm), and I made it non-negotiable. I was running whether I felt like it or not, so my focus on Saturday shifted to making sure I did feel like it. If I was going to have to run I ought to make it as painless as possible. So I didn't drink (much), and I ate sensibly and I had an early night. Running was my priority, and although I fitted in watching the rugby, I didn't feel the need to accompany it with mindless alcohol consumption.

So, Sunday morning dawned, I got up early, and I went out. My target was 20+ miles along the Taff Trail, a signed cycle route along a river (signposts and a river to follow! Surely I couldn't get lost?) At one point I knew that it split into a high route and a low route, and if I was feeling good my aim was to follow the high route until it met up with the low route, come back on the low route and back to the city centre. But I lost the signs as I headed up the high route, and instead headed on to one of those long steep hills that I hate. It was lovely, through a forest with wild garlic by the side of the road. But it was also a long, long drag. I will admit to breaking into a walk when I took an energy tablet, and realising when I got to the top of the hill that (a) I didn't know whether carrying on would bring me to anywhere I could find a different route back from and (b) if I started going down and then turned round I'd have to run back to the top before going down and heading back to Cardiff. So on the basis I'd been going for an hour and a half and was planning to turn about 1 hour 40, I decided to cut my losses and head straight back down.

I did add an extra small loop when I got back to the hotel, and ended up covering about 18.8 miles, which wasn't too bad although a bit short of target. Still, at least I was still running right to the end, and even though I've not made it past 20 miles in training, I'm far more comfortable this year than I was last year with getting to that stage.

So now for the taper. The hard work is done, now it's time to let my body recover from training and gear up for the big day.

Battling Burn Out

2007-04-30T19:11:00.001+01:00

Why does confidence come and go like this? Ever since Easter I seem to have been battling those bad run demons, and not believing I can do this any more. It was all going so well, then I had a few days off, ate a bit too much, strained some muscles in my legs from walking in the wrong shoes, and the feelgood factor disappeared, just like that.

Never mind that I'm not running that much slower than I was, or that I did a 20 miler last weekend, or that I walked 26.5 miles yesterday. Ignore that, because the only thing my brain is telling me is that this is stupid, and I'm not fit enough to run the whole marathon.

Yesterday's walk brought it home to me just how far it is and, although I managed the distance without any problems, it reminded me that it's a long way if things don't go to plan. It also made my legs a bit sore today, so I have the choice of either run and have a bad one, or don't run and feel like I'm not training hard enough.

I think part of it is just that I'm so tired at the moment. I remember this feeling from last year, and I hate it. It's like every ounce of energy is put into running and training, and there's nothing left for anything else. I sit at my desk struggling to stay awake, and the thing I want to do most is just to curl up and sleep. But I don't feel that I can because I need those miles to be run and logged. The tireder I feel, the harder each run feels. Oh for the chance for a good run on fresh legs.

Thankfully the end is in sight. I have just one long run to go before the taper begins, and I'm considering taking it relatively easy this week to recover from the weekend and make sure that Sunday's run isn't a disaster. It's hard to get a balance between running too much and running too little, but at this stage I'm more interested in keeping my sanity than getting a good time in Edinburgh. I want to feel alive again. So tonight I'm not forcing my tired legs to run, I'm going home, and I'm going to stretch out on the sofa or in bed and doze. Bliss.

New York New York

2007-04-15T18:19:00.000+01:00

On the back there is a "Go For It Matt" car sticker. The website is a bit out of date, but Matt King is a seriously inspirational guy. In April 2004, 17 year old Matt King broke his neck in a rugby accident whilst playing for London Broncos and is now paralysed from the neck down. He's on a ventilator all the time and needs constant care.

There have been various fundraising efforts for him, and in particular, the charity XIII Heroes was set up, which has a broader aim, to support other people injured while playing rugby. I went to a charity event they organised last night, and have been involved in various things they've done in the past.

Matt has made good progress. He's still paralysed, and he still needs the ventilator, but he refuses it to stop him doing things. Now he's been helped by the generosity of others, he is determined to help raise money for other people in his situation. He's studying at university, he's been skiing, and he's completed a half marathon.

In the Great North Run he was the first person in his condition to ever complete the run. It was so unusual that even on the morning of the race the race director was unsure about letting him take part. I believe he might even be the first person on a ventilator to complete any half marathon, or if others have done it, not many of them. Getting him round a half marathon isn't just a case of charging the wheelchair and letting him go, it needs a team of people to clear a path, move water bottles, sort out blockages, and so on. I really wanted to take part, but it was the week after Berlin and I didn't feel like I'd be up to it.

Now Matt wants to go one better. He wants to do a marathon. This is where the problems start. For profile raising for the charity, and fund raising, the bigger the better. However, he's been refused entry to FLM on safety grounds. He's not the only one. I've seen these two guys at races in the past, and they've had the same problem. They've done countless races, halves and marathons, and their times are pretty good. 1:43 for a half marathon pushing a wheelchair, and 4:04 for a marathon doing the same is some achievement. They know what they're doing. But they're not allowed to do FLM. It seems that chairs are only allowed in the wheelchair race, not in the main race. So you can dress 10 people up as a giant caterpillar, but you can't push a wheelchair. So FLM is out.

However, it seems that other marathons might be more accommodating. They want a big one, so they're looking at New York. Now, getting Matt over there would be a serious logistical nightmare, but if anyone can sort it, those guys can. So we have two problems. Getting him accepted for the race, and getting him there. But, and it's still a big but, if we do, then they need runners. More bodies to raise money, but more importantly, to get Matt round.

So it came to pass that at 3.30am, in a hotel bar in Huddersfield, I was asked if I want to run the New York Marathon this year.

You need to ask?

There is one snag. It's two weeks after Amsterdam, which I entered last week. At first I was hesitant. But the more I think about it, the more I think it could work. I'd do Amsterdam for me, and I'd do New York for Matt. Despite the fact that he can get up to 6mph on his chair, in reality the bottles and crowds slow him down a lot, and they're looking at a time over 5:30 (they did GNR in about 2:57). I'm not saying it would be easy to back up, but it would be the sort of race where the important thing is sticking together as a team at the speed of the slowest runner, and putting safety above speed. Finishing it will be the achievement for Matt, not the time.

And I'd be proud to help him. The event last night was for another injured player, who has a back injury and is in constant pain, walking with a stick. Matt said, in all seriousness that he would prefer to be as he is than in Ian's position, because "at least he isn't in pain". That's such a positive outlook on the whole thing, he's determined to make the most of life, do everything he can do, whether people think he can or not, and to give back what he can. How could I not want to help him do a marathon?

So there's still a lot of hurdles to jump, but if he does it, then I'll be there next to him.

The wibbles

2007-04-12T19:24:00.001+01:00

It was all going so well, and then the wibbles struck. One bad run, a couple of injury niggles and a planned reduction in mileage have combined to make me wonder whether this marathon running thing is sensible.

First, the bad run. Last Thursday I got very drunk. On Friday morning I got up, ate some dried apricots and headed straight out for a run. About a mile in my stomach started complaining. Runners trots. I managed to cover another 3 miles or so, with stops every 5 minutes to bend over in pain and wait for the urge to go to the loo to subside. After 4 miles I gave up and walked another 2 home. The moral of this story is simple, the combination of alcohol and eating something with lots of fibre just before a run isn't good. But my mind didn't want to file it away under "things not to do", it wanted to file it under "I can't run, I must be mad thinking I can do this". Oops.

The injury niggles, next. Over the weekend I was in Cologne. I did lots of walking. My shoes weren't bad (Birkenstocks), but they were brand new, and they weren't what I was used to. 7 miles a day of walking in them over 3 days meant that I arrived back home with seriously achey muscles in my legs. The more worrying niggle is my right achilles. It's played up twice now, both times on a Thursday morning after a Wednesday evening club run. Admittedly running to work less than 12 hours after a 7 or 8 mile run doesn't give me a great deal of recovery time, but it's the only time I've been able to fit runs in over the past fortnight. Fingers crossed that next week when I don't need to do that it will be a lot less painful. I can run on it, but I can feel it, and I don't want to make it worse if I can help it.

And finally, reduced mileage. Mum is staying with me, and we went to Cologne at the weekend. When I'm alone I can justify going out for a 3 hour run. When she's here I feel guilty about anything much over an hour, as it's time I feel like I should be spending with her. So I try to fit runs in where I can, with varying degrees of success. I'm still running, but I'm not doing the runs I'd like to do.

So, the wibbles have arrived. However, my last two runs were slightly better (achilles excepted), so hopefully I can get rid of them before I start getting worked up about it.

Mental Toughness

2007-03-31T14:44:00.000+01:00

If I'm going to push myself anywhere close to my potential, there's one challenge I'm going to have to face up to.

Call it the wall, call it my natural tendency to give up if things aren't going to plan, call it a 10 mile walk break, call it what you want. At Berlin my simple race plan was to run as far as I could and then do what it took to get to the end. It meant that I finished in one piece, and I got that medal, but it also meant that the second half of the race was very much a walk. Not the regular walk breaks all the way theory, a 16 mile run and a 10 mile walk.

One of my big things in training has been keeping running, however slowly, without taking breaks. That race plan was OK for a first marathon, but now I want to do myself justice.

Another thing has been trying to develop mental toughness when I want to slow down or stop, and making myself complete my runs. I'm not talking about running through injury, but just those runs when you reach a point where you can't be bothered any more and just want to sit down with a nice glass of wine and rest your legs rather than doing another 5 miles.

If I want the sort of time I'm aiming for I'm going to have to run until the end. I know that I'll be able to do the right pace for a good 15 miles, my training has made me confident of that. Almost certainly I'd be able to keep it up for 20. But can I keep it up for 26? I was pleased at Ackworth that I kept up the sub 8 minute miles right to the end to get the best time I could, rather than simply thinking that it would be a PB anyway, even if I slowed down a bit. The feeling in my legs on the Monday (far sorer than after any of the my other runs recently) reminded me how hard I'd had to work to override my "it hurts, can't I slow down a bit" instinct to race right to the bitter end. And if that was tough, it could be a lot tougher in Edinburgh.

I'm doing what I can though. Today I was aiming for 18 - 20 miles, but wasn't really enthusiastic about it when I set off. I got myself out of the door but made a potential mistake by heading for the local park. It's a nice park, don't get me wrong, but if you're trying to run round it for 20 miles you're going to be doing a lot of loops, and you're not going to be far from home when that "is that enough" though pops into your head.

So I was really really proud of myself that I managed to go round and round and round the lake for a grand total of somewhere between 19 and 19.5 miles. I lost count of the number of laps that I did, but I kept on persuading myself to do another one, and another, and with it being traffic free there was no excuse for even the slightest crossing the road breather. I just kept on running, round and round and round. I didn't let myself go home until my Polar showed roughly the right distance run, and I didn't let myself walk either.

I'm being tougher on myself this year. If I've earmarked a day for a long run of a certain distance, injuries willing, I make myself do it whether I want to or not. There's none of this "oh well, I've done really well to get from where I was to even be attempting a marathon" thinking in my head this year. This year I'm training, and I'm making myself do what I need to do.

3 little letters

2007-03-29T20:04:00.001+01:00

Today I did something I said I wan't going to do. I printed off the RW sub 3:45 training plan.

I don't know what to do about my target for Edinburgh at the moment. It's no use pretending to myself that I don't want to get under 3:45 eventually. That's always been a long term goal. I was happy to put it off for a while, to let myself get more accustomed to marathons, but I know I want to shoot for it at some point.

BUT. I'm running well at the moment. Everyone at running club says I'm on fire. Not just from my times in races, but how I look when I'm running, my rapid improvement. I know that based on my recent form I should be capable of getting under 3:45 if I put the right training in. I also know that with just under 9 weeks to go, I still have at least a month to really make my training count.

I don't want to put too much pressure on myself, and I'm happier making a tentative decision now, having seen how the first part of training has gone, but part of me wants to seize the moment. Yes, I could leave it for Amsterdam, but I might not be in as good form then, or I might get injured. (And, despite my "there's no hurry mantra", Amsterdam would only give me a GFA time for 2009, not 2008).

Mainly I wanted to look at it to see how far off I am. If following the 3:45 programme would be a massive step up on what I'm doing, I'm not sure that I'd want to do it. If the 3:45 programme is pretty much what I'm doing, that's a confidence booster. If it just requires me to make small tweaks to my plan, then maybe I'd be prepared to make them. I'm not planning to follow it slavishly, but I wanted to look at how it builds you up, how far it has you running, how fast.

And I was pretty reassured. It wants you to get to an eventual standard of a sub 1:45 half - done. It suggests 20 mile runs in 3 hours 10 minutes - done. The weekly mileage seems to be roughly in the 35 - 40 mile range - done. There seems to be a bit more emphasis on speed sessions than I'm currently doing, but other than that my self-written plan doesn't seem to be too far off the mark. In fact, I could even be a week or two ahead at this stage.

This doesn't mean I'll make 3:45, but I'm feeling happier that it's possible if everything goes right on the day (see Berlin for things that might not go right...). I don't want to lose sight of the fact that I don't need to aim so high so soon, and that something around 4:15 would still be a big PB, and a big achievement. But if I don't at least try I'll always wonder what would have happened.

Targets

2007-03-25T17:32:00.000+01:00

Cast your minds back to January. I was ecstatic to make it under 1:50 for a half. And then in February I proved it wasn't a fluke, by going sub 1:50 again, and taking nearly two minutes off my time.

At the end of that post I vaguely mentioned having to re-set my targets for sub 1:45. However, I've not really thought about that goal. Having races of varying degrees of difficulty since then has focussed me more on long, hilly runs rather than on speed. I'm trying to build my endurance not my speed. So 1:45 was something I thought I might leave for another day.

Truth to tell, before this week's half marathon, I didn't have any particular plan. I thought I might be able to take another minute or so off that PB, although I was aware that the route was hillier than any of my previous halves (although nothing on Dentdale or Rhayader). I had a relatively easy week so thought I'd probably have some energy to race it rather than plodding it, but I wasn't setting targets for myself really.

I managed to get to the start, which was an achievement in itself with the clocks changing, and doing their best to confuse me about what time I actually needed to turn up. It was quite grey at the start, but it looked like it might come nicer later so I went for the capri and short sleeve t-shirt option with my vest. Spoke to a couple of people from running club at the start, and spotted Jenny and Adele lining up just in front of me.

I first saw them at Dentdale. They overtook me with about 2 miles to go, then I struck back and finished ahead of them. At Rhayader they overtook me with 2 miles to go and I just couldn't stick with them. One all, so was this to be the decider (as remarkably I'm not racing for a month now)? An interesting side issue to the main issue of the race.

We were off, and I noticed I was running faster than I expected. Sub 8 minute miles. That surprised me, given the difficulty I had trying to keep up with the 8 minute mile pacer at Blackpool, when I let her go very early on in the race. But I wasn't struggling as such so I decided to see how long I could keep it up for. I haven't run sub 8 minute miles over a sustained distance for a long time, so wasn't sure whether I'd pay for it, but I was feeling good, so why not?

One of the girls from running club overtook me at about 3 miles, but I expected her to be faster than me so I wasn't worried about that. What I was surprised to see though was one of the men not very far ahead of me, and running at a similar pace. In fact, if anything I was gaining on him. I didn't expect that.

I passed 5 miles within my 5 mile PB (admittedly I've only run 1 5 mile race), and was pretty close to my 10k PB when I passed that point. I was starting to wonder what was going on! Every time my watch took an autolap from my footpod it was coming up as sub 8 minute miles (apart from perhaps one up a hill at about 3 miles). And I was still gaining on the guy from running club.

By this point the sun was coming out and I was glad I hadn't loaded myself with clothes. I was certainly putting lots of effort in to keep me warm too! I felt like I was struggling a bit after 7 miles, but clearly not too much as I overtook Peter and he never caught me again. Still the beeps were giving me reassuring feedback about my speed. And I got to the 10 mile mark in about 1:18:30, again that would have been a nice PB.

I've never been too strong at mental arithmetic, so it was only at about 11 miles, and something around 1:25 and a bit that I realised that even if I ran 10 minute miles for the last two miles I'd be pretty close to 1:45. Now, 10 minute miles aren't exactly slow, but at the moment I'm running so well that I can't remember the last time I went that slowly. I also worked out that if I carried on at the same speed I was doing, I'd be a couple of minutes under 1:45. Considering I hadn't been aiming for that time at this race, I was stunned!

I pretty much managed to carry on at the same pace right to the finish. Coming round the last corner the clock said 1:42:50ish so I tried a sprint finish but just slipped over 1:43 to finish in 1:43:04. Still, almost 5 whole minutes off a PB set a mere month ago, and on a hillier course to boot.

(And I checked the results. Adele and Jenny finished in about 1:50 (one just over and one just under). 2 - 1 to me!)

Stats from the results - overall 269/598, Ladies Open - 41/167, Ladies overall - 66/287 (I think, blame my maths if it's wrong), Ladies team - 8th overall, I was second scorer out of 3.

Not setting targets is clearly good for me, but I can't help but wonder... According to the RW race time predictor that run says I can run well inside 3:45. The "take your half time, double it and add 20 minutes" theory doesn't put me far off either. My official target for Edinburgh is 4:15, but maybe, just maybe...

Take to the Hills (2) - Rhayader

2007-03-18T17:16:00.000Z

So, week two of the hilly long run training came around. Last weekend I did a less hilly then expected (but still hilly) 14 miles at Dentdale. Midweek I did a 7 mile run and the Leeds half route. And then come Saturday it's time for a hilly 20 miler as part as my activity weekend away in Wales.

They sent out a programme with a detailed description of the course. I was mildly worried by the use of words such as "ordeal", "mountain" and "summit", so I went on the internet and plotted the route on a website that would give me an elevation profile (there's one on someone else's blog here). And then I got really worried.

Basically, there was a killer (and I mean killer) long hill up to about the 6 mile point. After that it didn't look too bad, although I knew the hill between 18 and 19 miles would be tough. I was advised on the RW thread for the race that the hills weren't awful but would add about 10 minutes to times compared to a 20 miler on the flat. But what to do with this careful research?

Well, for the first time pretty much ever it was time for race tactics more sophisticated than simply "turn up and see what happens. I chose the race partly so that I wouldn't be drawn into racing it. I'm more likely to slow down and enjoy the scenery if there is some scenery to admire. The other option was East Hull which is not only less scenic, but was also being run by a couple of people from running club, and I didn't want to start thinking about trying to race it so I could beat them/get closer to them/beat them by as much as possible. But just because I wasn't racing it as such, it doesn't mean that I wanted to go in underprepared. In the spirit of taking it gently I decided to go out and get up that first hill any way I could and then treat it more as a half marathon from that point if I still had the energy. Kind of counting on the hill to take the energy out of my legs so it wouldn't be one of my faster halves...

I did have a time target. To be on course for a sub 4 marathon, I wanted to do 20 miles in about 3 hours. But Edinburgh won't be as hilly as Rhayader and the Elan Valley, so I extended that by the recommended 10 minutes to give myself a 3:10 target. That target was well inside anything I ran before Berlin. My longest race before Berlin was an admittedly hilly and cross country canter round Derbyshire, that day I covered 30k in 3:45 ish. 20 miles is further than 30k... As another sign of how much I've improved, my 10 mile PB is 1:32:46. I say PB, but I've only run 1 10 miler, and I know I can run it faster having passed the 10 mile mark within my PB on my last two halves. So at the back of my mind was the fact that I might actually be able to run 20 miles in less than twice my 10 mile PB if I got under about 3:05.

Anyway, enough about the planning. What about the race? Well, I stayed in a hotel on Friday night and managed to eat my way through the breakast buffet. I'm not a huge fan of 1pm starts, it means that your eating through the morning (and indeed the rest of the day) is a bit messed up. I decided to go for a big breakfast with a lighter snack at about 11am to tide me over until I finished at around 4. Maybe hotels should say that distance runners have a limit on how much they can eat at breakfast... I then drove down to Rhayader and got there at about 11, registered, had my more snacky lunch and waited for the start.

As at Dentdale, these races tend to attract a different breed of runner. Around me people were talking about ultras, and about taking it easy because they'd done a marathon the week before. We're talking serious hardcore, and I threw the 20% target out of the window for this one. Let's call it a long term goal!

The weather at the start was pretty good. Bright blue skies and sunshine, so I decided to ditch my long sleeve top and just go with a short sleeve top under my vest, and no jacket. Definitely nicer at the start than at Dentdale anyway.

The first couple of miles were a couple of loops round the town. I always get nervous about getting lapped by the leading runners when anything starts off with two loops, but I managed to get round without that, which was good. Then to tackle the hill from hell.

The hill wasn't helped by the fact that there was an evil wind blowing straight in my face. Midway up I decided that while I probably could run it, I couldn't run it much faster than I could walk it, and that it was a more efficient use of energy to walk it. We're talking strategic walk break here, rather than giving up and wimping out walk break. Actually, the tactic worked pretty well and I overtook a lot of the people who ran past me on the hill in the rest of the race. Once I got to a point where it would be quicker to start running again, I ran and told myself that it wasn't an excuse to treat the race as a run/walk one. I gave myself permission to walk up the last hill I'd seen on the elevation profile, and any short steep ones in the meantime, but not to walk if it was flat, or downhill, or only gentle uphills. It's mental as much as anything. Once you've walked once, why not do it again?

The wind was horrible, but the scenery was lovely. It was a bit of a trek compared to Spen or East Hull, and the running was hard work, but I'm so glad that I chose to run that race rather than one of the others. It feels like you're spending the day enjoyably, seeing some stunning scenery, rather than just running because you have to. The weather got a lot worse during the race though. The wind seemed to be blowing straight in our faces until about the 15 mile mark, although it finally getting behind us in the last 5 miles was most welcome. Which is more than could be said of the increasingly icy rain.

After that big hill it wasn't too bad. I managed to keep running (other than water stations) from about 5.5 miles to about 15, when a short hill gave me a tiny break. And from there I kept running until the last hill, which had always been earmarked as a potential walk break. And then down to town and the finish.

In the end I finished in just over 3:03 which I'm really pleased with. I'm sure that I could get under 3 hours without those hills, which would give me an hour for the last 10k of the marathon to get under 4 hours. I even managed a negative split due to not having to do that hill in the second half. When I finished I was tired, but not spent My legs were fine and I managed to get back up the stairs in the hotel. I still have a couple of fueling issues that I want to sort out, but I'm getting there. The hills and the wind probably made the effort of that run more like 21 or 22 miles, so I'm fairly confident that I'm capable of 4 hours for the marathon. Depending on heat, time of the month, freak colds, anything else that screwed me in Berlin. I'd have preferred to run it all, but at least I know that the walk breaks that I took were planned, on schedule, and that I started running every time precisely when I told myself that I would. And in Edinburgh I won't have done two 13+ mile runs in the past 7 days either.

Hopefully the fact that I can do it on hills will give me more confidence going forward. I've now done two 20 milers and plenty of 13 - 15 mile runs which is a lot better than before Berlin. And next week I get a bit of a stepback week. It's only a half marathon!

Points don't mean prizes

2007-03-12T22:11:00.000Z

A bit of good news following on from the race on Saturday. Apparently the club ladies team came 3rd overall! Helped in no small part by my participation (I'm not sure whether it's the first 3 or the first 4 who count, but I was the third from my club to finish so would count either way). We don't actually win anything, but it's the closest I'm going to get to winning anything anytime soon, so I'll bask in the glory for a while.

Incidentally, I was a bit off my 20% target and managed to scrape into the top 35%. Not too shabby, but not where I want to be. Although based on a conversation in the toilet queue that's not too bad for that race - we were discussing how normally at races you size people up and there are a fair few who will be slower than you, but at this one everyone just looked so fit - I don't think it's a race many inexperienced runners would dare try! (And looking at the results - only three unaffiliated women finished ahead of me as a sign of how "clubby" it was).

Take to the Hills (1) - Dentdale

2007-03-10T19:03:00.000Z

During the week I made one of those stupid decisions. This time it was to do two scenic but hilly races this week and next week. So far I've only really done one proper hilly race, the Guy Fawkes 10 back in November. Other than that I've always tried to choose the flattest courses I can for my races. But on the basis that I wanted to do some longer races more for training than to get good times, I decided that some hills wouldn't be a bad thing. At least the scenery will be better than running round council estates in Hull, for example, and the hills should give me a bit of an incentive not to go off too fast and try to race it.

So today it was Dentdale which is, apparently, about 14.3 miles. It's not a standard race distance, just the distance it takes to get round the loop round the dale. A guaranteed PB! There were quite a few other people from running club doing it, which was actually almost a disincentive - when people I know are also racing it sometimes makes me run harder than I would do if I was genuinely treating it as a training run, because my pride won't let certain people beat me. But it gave me people to chat to before the start.

The weather was horrible. On the drive up there the dj on the radio was saying what a lovely day it was. Maybe in London, but in the Cumbrian corner of the Yorkshire dales it was grey, windy and rainy. Lovely. I suppose it was better than overheating. I took a rather scenic route along back roads because it look quicker on the map, I did wonder where I was going when I got to roads where you had to get out of the car to open and close a gate in order to drive through it. I also worried about the wisdom of the "scenic races" plan when I was driving up and down slopes that required me to change down to first gear. Luckily, those weren't part of the course...

Actually, it wasn't that bad. There was a nasty hill in the first mile, and a couple of nasty stretches in the last mile. Other than that it didn't do much more than undulating a bit. OK, it was constant undulation, but none of the hills were particularly nasty taken on their own. I found myself settling into a pretty decent pace, about 30 seconds per mile slower than my half marathon pace from Blackpool, but for a slightly longer, much hillier, race that I wasn't meant to be racing I was pretty happy with that. If I could run the marathon at that pace I'd be a very happy girl indeed.

At Brass Monkey one of the things that made my day was beating the main co-ordinator bloke from running club. I know he's not the fastest runner at the club (the bloke who is the fastest runner came 9th overall!), but he's also not bad, and he's a useful measure of my progress. His girlfriend is faster than he is, so he tends to start with her at a faster pace and then fade towards the end particularly on the longer runs. They overtook me in the first mile (on the hill, in fact), and I didn't spot him again until the last mile. When I first saw him I didn't think there was enough time to catch him before the end, but with a couple of nasty hills that I coped with better than he did, I managed to just about catch him, and overtake him, on the last corner less than 100m from the finish. Good job! I was also pleased that I beat one of the girls who is doing FLM. She's kind of what pushes me on from behind. There are people who I want to be as fast as, and there are people who I don't want to catch me. If she improves during her training for FLM, I want to be improving by a similar amount. It's nothing nasty, she's really nice, but I need motivation running behind me to push me on. Anyway, I finished about 7 minutes faster than her, so I was pretty pleased with that.

And at the end there was free food. A cheese sandwich, a scone and a slice of fruit cake. Better than a t-shirt any day!

Now, bring on the Welsh hills next Saturday. And 6 miles more of them too...

I lied

2007-03-04T20:55:00.000Z

OK, when I said no walk breaks, I didn't mean to include cross country in that. There are times when walking is absolutely essential...

Although, I'm just proud of the fact that I managed 5 miles cross country the day after a 20 miler. In road shoes, through thick and very slippy mud. It's no wonder I had to walk parts of it, to be honest, the surface just wasn't runnable in parts without studs, and it was definitely the toughest course of the races I ran.

And I still managed to get the 3rd scoring spot for my club, beating my two previous runs where I came in 4th. Even though my overall position was lower, maybe it was just a bigger field this time? I found that on the bits with a decent surface (mainly the same bloody canal towpath I ran down yesterday) I was overtaking loads of people, but on the slippy bits people with proper shoes would overtake me, then I'd get stuck behind them on narrow bits where I could run faster, but just couldn't overtake. So next year, some proper shoes and hopefully I'll be flying.

Did I just write a sentence that implies that I'm looking forward to the next cross country season?!

Best Long Run EVER

2007-03-03T18:59:00.000Z

I ran 20 miles (well, just under 20 miles) and I RAN ALL THE WAY!!!

I'm so proud of myself. I managed to do the run in 3:02 too, which is only a bit over 9 minute miles. Possibly quicker than I was aiming for, but I felt OK so I kept on going... and going... and going.

This was the route of my best long run pre-Berlin, but that day I took walk breaks to take gels, and I did a fair bit of walking in the last 6 miles or so. And I was over a minute per mile slower too. Even better, this time I feel like I can still walk, and I might even drag myself along to cross country tomorrow if my legs feel up to it.

But the big thing is that I ran every step of it. Last year my training seemed to start disintegrating once I started adding walk breaks into my runs. Mentally that gave me the attitude that the important thing was finishing, rather than running the marathon. Now, I'm not knocking walk breaks, and just finishing a marathon IS a bit achievement. But based on my form over half marathons (even my form back then, let alone the times I'm knocking out now) I know that I'm a better runner than that, and I should be able to make a better go of running all the way. So once my legs recovered from Berlin I made it my aim not to take walk breaks in my runs, and to build up my runs so that I ran all the way every time. Of course, if I pick up a niggle I'm not going to be anything stupid, but if I come across a hill I'm going to run up it slowly rather than walking up it and re-starting at the top. I am a runner and I will run, not walk.

And if I can run all the way in Edinburgh I'll be a very happy girl indeed.

20%

2007-02-27T20:48:00.000Z

I have a new running goal. Apart from marathons and PBs and such like.

Having counted through the results from Sunday (yes, I'm that sad), I think I came 77th out of 357 women (and 526/1096 overall). That means that my result was in the first 21% of women. That's pretty darn good actually, but it gives me a nice goal to aim for now - to be in the top 20% of women when I race. Obviously it partly depends on the quality of the field (I might be a bit further down when I run in the Yorkshire half marathon championships - eek!), but the nice thing about a 20% goal rather than purely looking at times is that it takes account of the couse and the weather as well as just the amount of time from beginning to end.

PBs are still nice, of course, but that 20% figure is something nice to aim for. I'm also suspecting, although I've not worked it out, that being in the top 20% would be roughly equivalent of a GFA time. Damn, I said that I wasn't going to use those letters this time round - but using the RW calculator from Sunday's run it comes up with a prediction of 3:44 over the marathon distance, so you never know.

I'm not racing for a couple of weeks now - apart from cross country on Sunday that is. There's a 20 miler I might do if my long run this weekend goes according to plan, if not it's the aforementioned half mara championships. Having spent the past 6 weeks or so getting comfortable with the 13 - 15 mile range it's time to up the mileage. I'll see how I feel on Saturday, but I'm very tempted to try an 18 miler. And this year I'm far more confident I'll be able to run it, rather than just finishing it.

Another Sunday...

2007-02-25T20:48:00.000Z

...another half marathon.

I wasn't really sure how to approach this one. Brass Monkey was the one I targetted for a new PB (which I duly achieved, and made it sub 1:50 for the first time), this was more a race I did because it was my first half last year, and because it's an excuse to go over and see my grandparents after the race.

All weekend I've been unsure as to how I should use the race. Should I go all out even though I haven't prepared specifically for it? Should I use it as a training run, and add a couple of miles onto it as a warm up, accepting that I'd go slower because of that? Should I just turn up and see what happens?

The third one turned into the plan, so much for stunning race tactics!

There were pacers, but I wasn't convinced I'd use them. There were 8 and 9 minute mile groups, but my last half marathon was at 8:20 pace, and I thought that taking 20 minutes per mile off in 6 weeks would be a little challenging. But I also didn't want to drop back to run with the 9 mile group particularly.

I started out ahead of the 8 mile group, but once they got into their stride after about 2 miles they caught me up and passed me. I tried to keep up for a while, but decided it wasn't worth flogging myself early and then feeling like death on the home straight. They were running faster than 8 minute miles at this point, trying to make up for the slow start, which added to my reluctance to try to keep up with them.

So I just ran my own race, and it was surprisingly straightforward. I didn't feel like the distance was a struggle, and even though my HRM said that my heart rate was 110% of my maximum at one point (eek!), for most of it I felt like I was pushing myself just hard enough to be able to sustain it for the distance, but not too hard that I'd run out of steam too early.

After Brass Monkey I was pretty pleased with my time and felt like it was a PB that it would be challenging to take much time off. It was on a flat course, and I felt fantastic on the day. I might shave a second off here and there, but I didn't expect a huge improvement for a while. This would explain my shock when I came up to the finish and realised I'd managed to knock over 90 seconds off my time.

So I will now sit here happily shining a nice shiny and new PB. I'm now very definitely sub 1:50, having come in at 1:47:47, the only worrying thing is that soon my thoughts might turn to how to get under 1:45...

Attitude

2007-02-03T19:09:00.000Z

I've come to the conclusion that the success and failure of my runs is far more mental than physical. If I think I'm running well, I run well. If I have a couple of bad runs I start to crumble mentally, and they get worse and worse.

Last year, this manifested itself in the walk break. I knew that where I started from, finishing a marathon at all would be an achievement, however I managed that. I let myself have walk breaks, but not in a structured way. On long runs I'd get to a hill and walk up it to get my breath back. Nothing wrong with that as such, but I noticed that I started thinking of certain hills as "walking hills", even on short runs, and even though I knew I could run up them perfectly happily. And as I started running slower, I thought "well, at least I'll finish", and didn't make the effort to try to maintain any speed. On the day itself, the dodgy stomach wasn't the only problem. There was also the fact that my race plan was effectively "run as far as you can, then finish", and once I started walking, it was hard to run again. OK, it hurt, but it wouldn't have hurt that much more, and the pain would have gone on for less time...

This year I want to run the marathon. OK, there might be reasons why I can't on the day, but I don't want to take walk breaks in training. They disrupt my rhythm and they mean I set my standards lower than they need to be.

The past two days have been perfect examples. Yesterday I ran home from work at lunchtime to let an alarm maintenance guy into the house (having considered my options I worked out that the fastest means of "transport" to get home would be to run, on the basis I'd be going back into work later anyway so I could pick up my stuff). It's just under 5 miles, but coming home it's almost entirely uphill. Going to work would be far more pleasant! About half way back I really wanted to stop and get the bus (running to a bus stop on the route and then getting the bus would have been quicker than running all the way, even if running all the way was quicker than walking to the bus stop). I had to really tell myself that I could run that hill, I took it bus stop by bus stop and was so happy when my bus went past with me on the wrong side of the road and between stops. I knew then that if I waited for the next one I may as well run the rest of the route home. And I did, without any problems. My mind was telling me to stop even though my legs were clearly able to cope with it.

The same again today. Yesterday I actually ran 8 miles, with my normal treadmill speed session on top of the run home, and that's a lot before a long run (but equally, doing a long run on Sunday isn't great before club night on Monday). I went out today with the aim of doing about 15, but after 5 I hit a hill and was struggling mentally. I ran exactly the same hill last week on my long run, but today I just wanted to pack it all in and try again tomorrow. Luckily I was in the middle of the countryside nowhere near a bus route, and would have to run a few miles to get back to somewhere I could get home from, so I carried on - and promptly ran another 10 miles, including a hill I've never managed to run all the way up, and slightly faster than my 15 miler last week. Again, I was capable of the run, but my mind was telling me it was too hard and it wasn't worth it.

I think for the shorter runs, success depends on natural ability, and speedwork and stuff like that, but for the longer runs there's far more time for your mind to get involved. Particularly when your mind is telling you that you're not a natural athlete, and that this is a really stupid idea. What's wrong with walking part of it? It's still more than most people could manage.

I've noticed how the confidence at Brass Monkey really helped me in club runs since, and I'm trying to find a way to turn off the whingeing, why can't I give up now, part of my brain and just go with the motivated, I will run all the way part. At least I know who I'm listening to now, and I know that if I can ignore it for 5 minutes, or for 10, it will go away as soon as I hit a downhill or an easier stretch. But as anyone who examines my eating habits would be able to tell you, I'm still often tempted by the stuff my inner fat girl puts in my mind, and I don't want her to mess up my marathon.

The Truncheon of Glory

2007-01-29T21:01:00.000Z

This may look like any old truncheon from a pound shop. In fact, you might say that if you'd bought it from a pound shop you'd been overcharged.

And you might be right.

But this, my friends, is the Truncheon of Glory. I should have turned the photo the other way, but I'm so excited about the Truncheon of Glory I just want to get this posted.

I was undecided about running tonight, after speedwork on Friday, 15 miles on Saturday and cross country on Sunday. Maybe it was time for a day off. But if I don't run with my club I don't get runs during the week, and it was only a short one tonight. A short fast one, but a short one.

The time trial. Last time I did this I did OK, but not amazingly. But since then I've been doing speedwork. And boy did I pay off.

I was set off fairly near the start (it's a staggered, handicap, start to give everyone a roughly equal chance of winning). There were five people in front of me, and maybe ten behind. At the first main turn I overtook the first person (who had admittedly taken a wrong turn right at the start). During the long straight drag uphill I caught the two who set off first, and then closed in on two new girls who were unknown quantities. I had the advantage here. I knew how much more hill there was, and I knew I could push past them right at my limit because there was a nice downhill straight after.

So I got round them, and I was at the front. This is unknown territory for me. I felt good because I'd got past the point where the faster runners started overtaking me the time before, but I didn't know how close they were behind me. If they're close enough they overtake you with surprising speed. I knew it was pretty much downhill to the end, so I pushed the pace a little more. And more. I can't remember the last time I pushed myself so hard, but as I got closer and closer to the finish I was determined to get over that line first. It may be my one and only chance of winning a race, even if it's not a straight race.

The last bit was uphill, over cobbles. I could hear one of the new girls gaining a bit on me (having recovered from the hill where I overtook them I think they'd picked up some speed again). One last push and I was over the line.

I won a race!!! And the truncheon was the prize.

It may be cheap, and it may be plastic, but I've never won anything for running before, so for now it will take pride of place.

(For the record, I was nearly a minute faster than when I did the route last time - it's just under 3 miles so that's 20 seconds per mile shaved off, on a day when I should have been way below my best after some hard runs. Speedwork really does work!)

I will now go and bask in the glory.

20 mile weekend

2007-01-28T15:39:00.000Z

It's been a while since I've done one of those, and this weekend's mileage has almost taken me by surprise.

At the end of the Brass Monkey I definitely felt like I could have run an extra mile or two, so I decided to make this weekend's long run target somewhere between 14 and 15 miles. I didn't have a particular route in my head. I had a direction I was going to head in, and knew what the first 5 or 6 miles would be, but from there the rough plan was little more than exploring new territory a bit further away before coming out in an area I run round with running club, working out roughly how far I'd gone and working out which running club route would get me to the road home with about the right mileage.

It turned out to be a beautiful running day, bright and cool, and my legs wanted to run. I wanted to avoid walk breaks as far as possible, and I did. I ended up running about 15.5 miles, which was a little further than I'd intended, at a highly respectable 9:23 pace. Which isn't bad considering that I felt like I was running at a nice gentle pace, and (not to mention the three letters that might jinx me) that's about a minute per mile slower (ie about what is recommended) than a pace that would get me round the marathon in 3:45. Not that 3:45 is my target as such at this stage, but it's certainly more possible than it was pre-Berlin.

And then, what to do next. Today was cross country, but at this stage I want my priority to be long runs, not cross country. But I told myself that if my legs felt fine and the weather was good, I might go out and give it a go. I'd done my long run on Saturday so at least I had the option to do the cross country, even if I decided to turn that option down. I woke up this morning and my legs were fine, but the weather wasn't.

What the hell, I thought. It will get me out of the house, stop me nibbling for a few hours and give me an excuse to eat a bit more during the day.

So I went. To the most exposed, windiest spot in West Yorkshire, as far as I could tell. It was bitter up there, and at one point, having been one of the first to arrive I was heading back to my car wondering if anyone had spotted me, and whether I could disappear before they did. Someone spotted me as I walked back. A good plan foiled.

We actually had loads of ladies out today, at least 9 or 10 that I can think of off the top of my head (only the first 4 score) so I was wondering whether it was absolutely necessary for me to run. But I was there, so what the hell. I did have fun scaring the girls who are training for London with the length of my run yesterday - they're not at that stage yet, and their mara is a month before mine. Plus they weren't backing up and doing cross country the day after. I like being scary.

I will admit to struggling a bit round the race. My legs weren't too bad, but they really didn't fancy the hills. One in particular seemed designed to kill off tired legs, and I'll admit to walking a bit of it. I was passed by a couple of club members who I know I can blow away on the road, but who have more cross country experience than me. And quite possibly proper trail shoes (I'm still running in my road shoes, and the lightweight racing ones at that - on the basis that they were the oldest and closest to retirement, and I didn't mind getting them muddy). But I hung on in there, and managed to bag the fourth scoring spot to at least remind me that it was worth me turning up, because my placing counted in the great relegation battle.

So now I get to feel doubly smug. A long run and cross country. Woo hoo. Now I just need to decide whether to go for the triple with a time trial tomorrow night.

Well, it's less than 3 miles...

Confidence

2007-01-26T19:20:00.000Z

What a difference a bit of confidence makes to my running. Beating Peter on Sunday will prove to be significant in the long run I think.

Let me explain. He is the main organiser of club training nights and various other stuff. He usually takes the middle group. So there goes any argument that I'm not faster for the middle group.

Even better, usually at about the half way point of a run, he has an option for a slightly longer detour and takes a group of faster runners. I had always kind of assumed that even though I was keeping up with the middle group on the first leg, once they set off on the longer run they speeded up a bit. But if I can beat him in a race, and he leads that group, then I'm sure that I have no excuse for thinking that I wouldn't be able to do it.

So, on Wednesday, I did. And of the five of us who took the longer route, I was the one trying to slow down to make sure I didn't get too far ahead. OK, so some of the faster people who sometimes run didn't turn up (possibly because it was snowing?), but that's blown out of the water any argument that I should just take the short route home.

I feel really good about my running at the moment. Even though I'm working off a self written training plan rather than following something tried and tested and recommended, I'm feeling like it's working. Basically, it's 2 club runs, 1 long run (pretty much following the progression in distance from one of the more well known plans), and 1 extra run which can be speedwork, cross country or anything I feel like I've been lacking. Or later on it could be more of an easy run to help me recover. Plus two swims and two weight sessions, and yoga if I feel like a good stretch. It has been working pretty well since Christmas, and I'm really enjoying it again.

One other thing I've noticed recently is how good I'm getting at hills. I used to hate hills, and tried to avoid them at all costs in my marathon training last year. But since I started running with Kirkstall (where hills are a necessary part of life, it being at the bottom of a valley with a hill on either side), I've really felt myself improving. I notice on club runs that I can get up the hills a lot easier than some other runners - they might beat me on the flat, but I power past them on the hills. You never know, if I do the Guy Fawkes 10 again this year I might actually run more of it!

(And the official half results are out, putting me at 1:49:30. There was a bit of confusion earlier in the week with the provisional results being a minute or so out for most people, but I'm quite happy with the new revised version).

Brass Monkey

2007-01-21T17:24:00.000Z

This half marathon was very highly recommended, and having run it I can see why. Fantastic organisation, lots and lots of highly supportive marshalls, a nice warm sweatshirt at the end and, above all, very very flat and PB-inducing.

Coming up to this race I didn't really know what I was aiming for. I knew I was feeling a lot better than my last half (Amsterdam) which I finished in 2:00:29, so I was quite confident I'd get under two hours. I also knew from the stats that I was running a lot better than my first half in February last year (1:55:40), and hoped that I would at least be able to match that time. What I couldn't work out is how my running compared to last May, between my fantastic 10k PB at Rothwell and my half PB in Blackpool (1:54:07). My race plan, if you can call it that, was to run at a pace I could sustain for the whole race without a walk break (the one half I'd completed before without a walk break was my first, and not even a PB, but walk breaks seem to dent my confidence that I can run any further than 13, which is important in marathon training). I didn't know whether I could quite get a PB this time round (on the basis my 10k time still doesn't seem to have hit the heights of Rothwell), but I knew that it was doable if everything came together.

And boy, did it come together. From some good training runs, to a week completely off the booze, a Saturday spent mainly off my feet and eating, but not gorging on carbs, to a morning when I felt up and wanted to run (it doesn't always happen like that, believe me). Admittedly, up until about 10 minutes before the race I was deliberating what to wear. It was cold (could it be anything but, in January, with a name like that), but that didn't bother me so much as the prospect of hail or wind leftover from the midweek gales. I had a wind/rain jacket I'd picked up cheap during the week which would make me feel a lot better if it got wet, but if it didn't, would I be too hot? (And, thinking of a consideration not often taken into account my runners, fluorescent yellow really didn't match my club vest). In the end I decided to wear it under my vest, and deal with heat if it became a problem. The hail didn't materialise, and I could probably have run without the jacket and kept my gloves on for longer, but equally I wasn't hot enough to need to stop and rearrange my clothing. So that was good.

I started off at a cracking pace, and was pretty much dot on 8 minute miles for the first three miles or so. I remember going past the 3 mile marker just before 24 minutes and I was quite shocked I'd kept up that pace for three whole miles. I did feel like I should be easing off a bit though, there is a big difference between 3 miles and 13! About this time someone from running club ran past me (he'd started further back). I'd always assumed he was faster than I am. He's older than I am, and maybe not as quick as he used to be, but he's still got a decent bit of speed. I wasn't too concerned when he got ahead of me, it wasn't him I was racing.

At about 6 miles I was surprised to find myself still motoring at a pretty decent speed. I think I passed 6 miles in about 50 minutes, which meant that I was almost certainly going faster than I had done in my last 10k in November, which is always a good sign. Between 6 and 8 miles I felt like I was struggling a bit. This is the time I often find hard in a half. You've been running for an hour or so, but you've still got another hour of running ahead of you, this time on tireder legs. But I kept on going.

Then after about 8 or 9 miles I started seeing the bloke from my club not too far ahead of me. I really thought that he'd have opened up more of a gap than he had done. And after another mile or so, I noticed something even stranger. The gap was closing. I was still running, and my legs had actually started to feel a bit stronger than they had done a couple of miles back. I was definitely gaining on him. I counted that I was about eight places behind him. And one by one I picked them off (or the people in front of me picked him off). And after about 11 miles, just before a bridge (which was one of the only "hills" on the course), I passed him. He said that he'd been slowing down for a while, but I didn't stop to chat because I was picking some momentum up at this point.

From now on I had one goal in my mind. To beat him. As simple as that. Going round I'd been doing calculations of what time I might finish, at what point I might reach the blissful point where I could walk the rest and still get a PB (not that I planned to walk, but it's the point where you know you'll be OK). But now I felt like I had someone on my shoulder, pushing me on, to make sure that I didn't walk, and I didn't slow down. As other people walked over the second bridge (come on, these are people who can run a relatively decent time in a half, and a teeny tiny bridge defeats them - they should try running round Kirkstall!) I was overtaking them, but more concerned about what was behind me.

I turned into the racecourse to finish, and was met by the strongest headwind of the run. Fantastic. But I could see the end, and I wasn't slowing down and letting him overtake me now. I had no idea how far he was behind (I haven't mastered the art of running forward without running into anything while looking behind me yet), but I knew he was still behind. So I ran to the end and I finished...

in....

1:49:something.

My watch said 1:49, but the official time will be a bit more because I only started my watch when I crossed the start line, not when the gun went off. But I think it was about 1:49:20, and it was certainly less than 1:49:40 which is what Peter said his time was when he finished a couple of places behind me.

I never thought I could get below 1:50 in this race, or take so much off my PB, and I feel absolutely over the moon. Plus I've beaten someone I didn't actually set out to beat (sadly, Cassie, who I'd also have loved to beat, finished in 1:47 ish, she must have been in front of me at the start because she definitely didn't pass me).

Certainly worth a celebration drink or two, and a sign that just sometimes a bit of hard training, and the fates being on your side really does mean that it comes together nicely on the day.

Feeling Good

2007-01-14T17:33:00.000Z

I haven't posted on here for an age, but I have still been running, just about. The first week in GC was slack by my standards when I'm in the UK, but still the best I've run out there, with three three mile trots along the sea front on back. In the second week I managed to make two of my runs twice round trips, to give a total of about 15 miles for the week. Nothing stunning, but ticking over.

Since I got back I've been quite pleased with my running though. I've managed no fewer than 2 12.4 mile runs in the past week, and today it felt really good. At a guess I'd say that it was not only my longest run since Berlin (other than Amsterdam half), but the furthest I've run without a walk break for a long long time. Possibly since last February. I'm not joking there. In the run up to Berlin nearly all my long runs seemed to involve walk breaks. that's not necessarily a bad thing, but as my aim this time round is to run the marathon rather than simply complete it, I'm really trying to work on the idea of keeping going, even if that means dropping my pace a bit. I was also pretty happy with my run because I did it in brand new shoes, and I figure that if I could run OK in them today out of the box they'll be OK after another couple of runs in the Brass Monkey next Sunday.

Why did I think that doing a half in January was a good idea? Still, it's got me back on the wagon nice and quickly after getting back from Spain, so it can't be a bad thing. I just hope it doesn't snow!

London 2008?

2006-12-22T22:04:00.000Z

By my calculations I should have a very good chance of running London in 2008. As I suspected I wasn't in the running this year really (which I'm kind of gutted about because the three who got the places would be a lovely group to train with), but next year I'll tick all the boxes. Member for more than a year, run races for the club, never run London before, and particularly not on a club place. If it's anything like this year, only three people filled all the criteria and were guaranteed to be in without any need to draw names out of a hat. Fingers crossed it works the same way next year.

So that's my goal for 2008, in terms of what I want to do in 2007, running wise...

1. Edinburgh.
2. Amsterdam - two marathons in a year? It's possible, but I might leave it for a while before committing myself properly.
3. Some PBs, but I'm not sure at what distance. I might not top that 10k PB just yet (although you never know), but I'm hoping that the marathon PB is very breakable.
4. Settling into the club and running more races for them. Maybe even another bash at cross country (I think my shoes are dry now!)
5. Monthly mileage over 100 miles per month. Edging closer to 30 miles per week than 25? And beating my yearly total for this year (currently about 1225 miles, with scope for a few more before the end of the year).
6. Most importantly, ENJOYING IT!

Mud, Mud, Glorious Mud

2006-12-17T18:06:00.000Z

Today was something different - cross country!

My only associations with those two words come from school, but that was nothing like what went on today. At school although there was a spell through the woods, I seem to remember most of the run being on the road, and there not being much mud.

Not proper cross country then! Today was the real thing.

I only decided I was definitely doing it this morning when it looked clear and sunny. I foolishly thought that meant that it might not be too muddy. Yes, I knew that it had rained on Friday, but I hoped there had been some time for it to dry up a bit, and at least it wasn't actually raining.

I met up with the others at LPSA, then headed over to Dewsbury. I'd never done a club cross country before, and it was a different system to normal races, with registration on the day, no numbers, and club runners only. That meant fewer newbies behind me, everyone turning up was clearly fairly mad and hardcore.

I started worrying when I got there and saw the mud just in the registration area. I don't have any proper studs or spikes, and didn't think it was worth buying any until I saw whether I enjoyed it. I didn't think that my family would appreciate me spending their christmas present money on cross country shoes somehow. I was slipping around in my road shoes, and that was before I got onto the three lap course which I imagined would be pretty churned up by the third time round. (I was right).

Still, I was there, and they needed four women to finish to count. There were four of us, so not get outs. At the last minute another person arrived, but by this stage I'd paid my £2.50, so I may as well run. Great excuse...

The first part was round a rugby field which wasn't too bad, then up a muddy bank, then downhill on grass. I stayed off the track and ran through long grass for that bit, which was easier in my road shoes. Then up a track, back round the field for a short first lap, and then the fun started. After going downhill again, it started getting much much muddier. The first time round the long lap I tried without success to stay out of the worst of the puddles and mud, but by the second time I realised that the quickest way was probably going straight through the ankle deep sludge. At least it would be a soft landing if I slipped.

The running wasn't too bad, I ran pretty much all of it, even on the sludge. The only bits I walked were for footing reasons, rather than tiredness or hill reasons. I saw other people walking the hilly bits, but I didn't resort to that. I wasn't as fast as I would be on the road, but I'm sure I got a better work out from trying to keep my balance on the mud! There were a couple of times I had to hold onto gateposts as I slid round corners, but I did stay upright at least.

In the end I got the fourth female place for the club. Given that the three ahead of me all had proper shoes and had done cross country before I was OK with that. I was more interested in beating the other road shoe-d newbie, which I did quite comfortably in the end. At least I wasn't last! I actually nearly caught one of the other women from my club, she finished 40th and I finished 42nd, but I just didn't have enough at the end to catch her (finishing uphill on mud isn't conducive to a sprint finish). It wasn't a measured course. The info said it was about 4.5 miles, but I've measured it on the internet (or what I think the route was), and make it just over 5. It took me just under 50 minutes, so given the terrain, that wouldn't be too bad.

At the end I realised I've not been quite so muddy for a long time! My feet and midway up my calves were basically caked in solid mud, with splashes all the way up my back. that got a few stares when I headed into the supermarket to pick up some bread on the way home... I got back and peeled my shoes and socks off to realise that my feet were also black, caked in mud that had soaked all the way through. It took two washes to get it all out, although everything's now clean and drying ready for the club run tomorrow. Except my shoes that is, I'd decided to wear my old ones just in case they got ruined. I'll have a look to see how bad they look once they're a bit drier, but that may have been a good idea.

I can't do the next race because it's the day I come back from GC and I'm not going straight from the airport to run (even if the train would get me back in time), but I might do another before the end of the season. If I get some proper shoes, that is.

Sinking In

2006-12-16T19:51:00.000Z

So I signed up for Edinburgh, and had kind of forgotten how hard the whole marathon training thing is. Then on Wednesday I did a HILLY half marathon training run with running club, and I've been feeling it in my hamstrings ever since. And that was only 12.5 miles. It was a timely reminder of how much hard work Edinburgh is going to take.

I am thinking of changing my training this time round though, with an emphasis on fewer, longer, faster runs during the week and then the long run at the weekend. Quality miles over quantity, basically.

I've also been thinking about my goals. I look at other people who have similar 10k and half marathon times as me, and my marathon time is way slower than theirs. A sign that the distance and the conditions and the dodgy german sports drink beat me last time, really. So this time I want to go faster, but I don't want to set stupid targets. I should be able to go under 4 hours, but that doesn't mean that I will. For now I'll aim for about 4:20 which would be 30 minutes faster than Berlin, and steady 10 minute(ish) miles. That's enough of an aim for now. If training goes well I might reassess, but there will be other marathons to tke more time off. I don't need to do it all at once.

Get out there and do it

2006-12-09T20:35:00.000Z

For a lot of today I wasn't sure whether I'd make it out for a run. Even though I took it easy at last night's office party to make sure I couldn't use a hangover as an excuse, I woke up and I started making excuses anyway.

It was frosty, and I was tired after a late night. So I decided to go to the supermarket first, while it was quiet, then run just before lunch. I went outside and the car wouldn't start. Fantastic. So having waited an hour for the breakdown bloke to come with some jump leads, and then driven around for half an hour to charge the battery up a bit, and spent longer than I was intending in the supermarket because everyone else had descended in the meantime, it was nearly lunchtime by the time I got back. I decided to eat.

And then I decided I couldn't run straight away, because I needed to digest. But with it going dark at about 4pm, if I didn't get out by 2.30 I wouldn't be able to do the 9 - 10 miler I had planned. My mind started making excuse after excuse until at about 2.15 I managed to give myself a kick up the arse and put my running stuff on. Yes, it was cold outside but it was a lovely, bright, frosty day, the sort of day which just asks for you to go out and run in it. So I put some warm stuff on and finally got out there, with the promise that I could cut the run short to about 5 miles if I really wanted. Of course, once I got going and got into the swing of things I ran pretty much right up until it got dark, and ended up adding a bit of extra distance and running closer to 10 than 9 miles.

I need to keep reminding myself that I can hardly think of a time where I've regretted going out for a run, no matter how much I try to put it off. But on the other hand, there have been too many days already that I waste, and don't run but then wish I had.

Even better, I'm only 25 miles away from my 1200 mile target for the year. I might even be able to make it to the finish line by the end of the week, particularly if I do the half marathon club run on Wednesday rather than the normal 10k route...

Speedwork

2006-12-07T19:59:00.000Z

Operation "regain some speed" seems to be coming along nicely. I'm doing a fairly regular 30 minute speed session on the treadmill, and getting faster every time. I'm not as fast as I used to be, but there are definite improvements.

I think when I do my next marathon I'll definitely try to focus on the quality of sessions rather that just miles - even if that means resorting to the treadmill.

Meanwhile the Christmas lights run was great fun, and I was surprised at how many of the Horsforth people I kept up with, considering they are supposedly more serious than my club.

I'm also counting down to my 1200 miles for the year target. At one point I was way ahead of 100 miles per month but I've slipped a bit recently. I should make it, and at least it will keep me focussed through the Christmas party season.

I'm feeling good.

Cassie

2006-12-01T20:11:00.000Z

There are a couple of people at running club I'm starting to use to measure my process by. Someone who's just a little slower than me, and Cassie. Keeping up with Cassie is the target. She's probably the one who's thought of as the "fast girl", and ran London last year in under 4 hours. She won the female member of the year award last year too.

But here's the interesting thing. She set a new 10k PB in the race on Sunday. And her new PB is... slower than mine. Proof that I can run at the speed she's running at now, the speed that scares me slightly as she hares off on training runs leaving me trailing. The question is just how I get back to that speed.

And actually, I'm getting there. I'm getting into the habit of a weekly 30 minute speed session on the treadmill, and this morning I seemed to find it a lot more manageable than previously, even though I notched the speed up a bit more. The time I ran in the 10k was faster than I expected after Amsterdam. I'm getting there.

Cassie, I'm coming to get you.

-----------------

I'm still pondering whether to sign up for Edinburgh. I like the idea, although something's cropped up on the Saturday that I'd have to miss if I do the marathon. I'm also still not 100% sure I won't get a London place, there's still the chance of the club ballot, a competition I'm entering, and a place for XIII Heroes if they've got any. And I also want to do the full in Amsterdam in October, which would mean two marathons next year if I do Edinburgh too. I almost filled in the form today, then chickened out. We'll see...

Placings

2006-11-27T22:02:00.000Z

GUN - 1846/3950
CHIP - 1958/3950
F - 349/1599
FSEN - 170/762 (female non vets)

I'm pretty pleased with that actually.

Abbey Dash, mark 2

2006-11-26T20:11:00.000Z

Woo Hoo. One of my new years resolutions back in January was to run all the races I ran last year, and run them quicker. Well, it's November and I've finally managed one. Race for Life got shelved because of work (and torrential rain which didn't encourage me to leave and do it anyway). The Harewood House 10k got shelved because it was the week before Berlin. So, the Abbey Dash it was.

Last year this was my first "proper" 10k. The Cancer Research ones aren't timed officially, don't give you a club discount, and are very much more fund raising thing than races. They're fun, and the scenery is fantastic, but I wouldn't call them "races". This is what I said last year.

This year, I was so much more relaxed and confident. Basically, my only target was to run the whole race. That might seem odd, but I hadn't managed that in a race since April. The only 10k I'd done in that time was on a horrendously hot day in London when running just wasn't sensible, other than that it was hilly 30ks, and marathons, and stuff like that. Walk breaks galore. So I wanted to prove to myself that I could run a whole race.

Back in April I managed a 47:44 10k. I've been banging on for weeks saying that I was never going to better that, and I was right. Based on the Amsterdam half time, Guy Fawkes and my club runs recently I thought I'd manage about 54 or 55 minutes. Sub 55 was my target (compared to 59:19 last year), but running all the way was the important bit.

I met up with a couple of people from the Runners World website before the race, then headed to the start. I hate the start of that race. It's very handy because it leaves from my office, and runs past my gym after about 200 metres. I can leave my stuff in the gym and shower afterwards, and I can go in on the bus without stressing about not knowing how long it will take. But the road it starts on is far too narrow, with a sharp right turn after about 100 metres. Why they don't start it on the wider road at the front of the office rather than the narrow one at the back, or on the main road rather than turning right onto it, I don't know, but they don't. It took 2 and a half minutes to cross the line, and it was slow getting out onto the main road.

But then I seemed to find a decent pace. For the first 5k I was running about 50 minute pace which really surprised me. The route was utterly familiar (passing, as it does, the office, the gym, running club, and then coming back the same way), and I've run most of it recently on club runs. Not all at the same time, but all the different bits of the route at some time or another. Although it's pretty flat (for Leeds) there are some "undulations", and I knew when to expect them. I got to 5k in pretty much dot on 25 minutes (which is an improvement even from the time trial I did on Wednesday - that was hillier though), then started to slow down a bit. I've not run that fast for over 5k for a while, so I slowed back down to more the pace I was hoping to do.

It was pretty uneventful really. I got a couple of cries of "come on Kirkstall", particularly going past the leisure centre where we meet. I guess that's likely to happen when you're wearing the name of the place you're running through on your chest. I saw a friend from running club heading up towards the Abbey as I headed back into town and gave her a wave. It was pretty sunny, surprisingly, and heading back into town I couldn't see much with the sun in my eyes, and was feeling surpringly warm with the sun on my face.

But other than that, I just kept running, really. In the end I finished in roughly 52 minutes. I forgot to stop my watch, so I'll wait for the chip times to come out tomorrow. I was happy with that, it was better than my "realistic" target, and gives me hope that I can get back sub-50 minutes soon.

The finish was chaotic again. I don't know why I do this race. The admin was awful, the start is horrible, the finish is horrible, and the route isn't particularly inspiring. But it means a lot to me because it was my first proper 10k, and my first 10k under an hour, and it's handy so I turned up, and I probably will next year, no matter how often I say I won't during the year.

I waited on the town hall steps for a couple of people I knew to finish. I'd been wearing a bin bag before the start (yup, from dressed up photo shoot glamour to a bin bag in less than 24 hours) and because I couldn't find a bin to put it in, I'd carried it with me on the race. I put it back on at the end, the sun seemed to have disappeared when I wanted it. Then off for a shower, and to the pub for a bit more of a chat with the RW people.

I whinge, but I enjoyed it really. Just sort the start and finish out, folks.

A break, and then back to it

2006-11-21T22:20:00.000Z

I ran 3 miles last week. November is looking to be a very low mileage month, with holidays and illness and general laziness taking hold. It's not awful by any means, but it's slipping a bit and I need to start perking myself up again.

Still, last night I did the club 10k route over 2 minutes faster than the last time I ran it (and the last time I thought I'd had a pretty decent run) and I'm getting closer and closer to the middle group with every run. So it's not all bad and lazy.

I'm worried about tomorrow though, we're meant to be doing a time trial, which I've never done before. I think they set the slowest off first, with the aim that everyone finishes at roughly the same time. I'm just hoping they don't think I'm faster than I actually am and set me off too late!

Then after that it's the Abbey Dash on Sunday. Finally I'll get to repeat a race I did last year. Last year I managed to finish in 59:19, and I'm pretty sure I'll beat that. I'm equally sure I won't get close to my Rothwell time. I'd be happy with anything under 55 minutes I think, 54 or 53 might be realistic. But more importantly I want to run all the way, which would be something I haven't managed in a race since... well, Rothwell, probably. Admittedly most of my races since then have been longer, or hotter (or both!), but I just want to get that confidence of sticking it out. I know I can run 6 miles, but if I go off too fast I could end up sabotaging myself again. I really MUST control my run and not stop for walk breaks. MUST MUST MUST.

In vaguely running related news, I'm currently amused by the fact that I've bought a new running top (in Spain) which says "XS" on the label. It's been a while since I had an X on my labels, and it's nice for it to be at the other end of the scale! And I've now got hold of my North of England Athletics Association number - does that mean I'm officially an Athlete?!

In between

2006-11-07T20:35:00.000Z

'm torn at the moment with running club. There are three groups usually, and I seem to be pretty much between the slow and the medium group. I'm too fast for the slow group, but I'd be at the back of the medium group.

I know that I am physically capable of keeping up with the medium group, but I seem to have lost some speed with all the marathon training (for example I know that I'll be nowhere near my 47:44 PB in the 10k I'm doing at the end of the month), and at the moment I'd struggle to keep up with them. I want to keep up with them, because that's what I feel like my pace should (and can) be, but it's a question of how to get there. Particularly while I don't know the routes, I don't want to get stranded at the back and not know where I'm going as the others speed off out of sight. (Although it's equally hard at the front of the slow group when I don't know where to lead everyone!)

I was actually considering introducing some speedwork into my runs, then I turned up at running club last night and it was a fartlek session. Good start, I suppose. Last night actually worked pretty well. I started off with the slow group for a bit of a gentle warm up, then speeded up and ran for a while with the medium group (including one point where they took a detour off the main route so they could meet up with everyone at the top having run slightly further, slightly quicker. I just followed them, looked round and realised everyone else was going the other way...). Then I cooled down a bit with the slower group again on the way back. That worked quite well, maybe I do need to just work on doing one leg with them, then two, and so on.

It really comes back to what I want to get out of running I suppose. If I'm just running for enjoyment and fitness, then there's nothing wrong with running with the slow group. You cover the same ground, and it's not as much like hard work. But if I want to actually improve as a runner (which is the sort of thing that I tend to want to do), then I need to get myself up to the standard of that middle group. The thing is, that after the first few times I suspect that I'd find it easier and easier to keep up with them, it's just getting the confidence to try. I think that once I know the routes a bit better I might be more confident about going out with the faster people and not worrying so much about getting lost, but at the moment it just frustrates me that I know I can run faster than I am doing, I just can't make my legs do it.

Running Club Rocks

2006-11-05T20:48:00.000Z

Why did I never join a club before? People told me to, but I never quite got round to it. Big mistake.

Take today's race, a hilly 10 miler. Traditionally I'd drive myself up there, pace around on my own for an unfeasibly long period of time (being pathologically early, I'd be there hours in advance of the start), do the run, and go home. During the run, if things weren't going my way, I'd give in mentally.

Today, on the other hand, I got a lift up to the race with other running club people and, while we were still there nice and early, I had people to chat to while I waited. There were 10 or 12 of us, plus a couple of spectators. I hadn't actually met all of them yet, not all of them have been to training in the past couple of weeks, but still turn up to race. But pre-run was only the appetiser for the running club race experience.

It was the first time in my natty new Kirkstall vest which I picked up on Wednesday. At the start I was with some of the other girls I usually run with, but as soon as we started I tried to put some distance between myself and them. It may sound stupidly competitive, but I wanted to prove a point by beating them. I know that I should be faster than they are based on our half marathon PBs, and I wanted to remind myself of that. After less than a mile I spotted another bloke (who I'd never met before) in a Kirkstall vest ahead of me, and he spotted me too. Of course, he had more idea who I was than vice versa (having had a mention in the most recent club newsletter as a new member), and he hung back to have a bit of a chat.

I was actually finding the first two miles or so pretty hard. With being ill during the week, if I hadn't had someone talking to me I'd have been tempted to stop, turn round, and go back the way I came. DNFing did cross my mind, I'm sorry to say. But I kept going, trying to keep up with him (point to prove). Of course, he was actually faster than me, but he hadn't been able to train for a few weeks because his mother was in hospital and visiting times clashed with training, so he said he wanted to use it as a training run more than a race, and was quite happy to spend the race getting me round.

And that's exactly what he did. I will admit to walking some of the hills (I find it a better use of energy to walk up and then put on a burst of speed on the downhill, on the basis that my running uphill speed isn't that much faster than my walking uphill speed), and he got a little ahead of me, but he'd then let me catch up with him, or run back towards me for a while if he was getting too far ahead. The hills were hard, but actually not as hard as I'd been pessimistically expecting, and the views more than made up for it because it was a lovely scenic route.

For the last mile he really pushed me on, he was overtaking people and I was pretty much sticking with him, which felt good. I suspect that I got round a couple of minutes faster than I would have done without him there (although apparently just behind me was a second piece of motivation in the form of the fastest of the other girls. I think she finished 3 or 4 minutes behind me in the end, she said that she could see me for most of it, but couldn't quite catch me).

Afterwards, in another break from routine we went to a pub for lunch and a couple of pints. It was nice to actually be able to chat about the race and about running with real people who don't think you're a freak for spending your Sunday running up and down random hills for "fun".

I didn't expect the race day experience to be so much more fun as part of a group, and it definitely spurred me on to run a bit faster than I'd have done if I'd been there alone.

So 10/10 for running club!

May Marathon Madness

2006-10-31T20:09:00.000Z

I've decided what I'm doing for my birthday next year. (It's only 7 months away, after all). And I'd like to issue an open invite to anyone who'll be around to join me for a few drinkies. I will explain.

It doesn't look like I'll be running FLM next year. My cheque hasn't been cashed. There's still a tiny outside chance that my cheque is being processed very slowly by my bank, or that I'll get my hands on a club or charity place (as long as it's one without stupid fund raising targets), but realistically the ballot was my best chance, and I don't think I was successful. There's no real surprise about that, I'll just have to wait another year or five for a chance.

But anyway, assuming none of that comes off, I've been thinking of what else I want to do instead. And I think that I have a plan. I've been dithering over whether I want to do a spring marathon at all or just leave it until autumn, but I've seen an option that is very very tempting.

I've been weighing up the logistics of various options for a while. Getting there and back, staying over, not having to work on the Monday. There are some races I'd happily take a day off work to recover from and do a bit of sightseeing on the Monday and others that maybe just aren't quite special enough for me to want to do that. If I'm going abroad then I'll happily take an extra day, but spending a Monday morning in Blackpool, for example, isn't as exciting. No offence to Blackpool, but I've spent far too much time there in the past for it to be a big draw now.

Then, out of nowhere, I spotted an advert for something that works nicely with the rest of my plans. It's on a bank holiday weekend, and it's somewhere where I'd quite like to spend a long weekend. It's not hard to get to, with fairly regular trains and it's driveable if I fancy doing it under my own steam. It's also a couple of days before my birthday, so I get to have a birthday weekend away. I've had a quick look and there are some nice looking, reasonably priced hotels available.

It looks perfect. Almost.

There are just two slight drawbacks. One is that entry is officially on a "ballot" basis. However, from a bit of background research on the RW website it seems that the race doesn't actually fill up, it's just that by advertising it as a ballot the charities can try to flog "guaranteed" charity places at a premium. The ballot closes pretty early too, so it's more of an early entry type thing than a genuine ballot. So if you go through the ballot you'll almost certainly get a place apparently. And I think (although it's not clear) that if I get my running club number through it's guaranteed entry for club members anyway.

The other drawback worries me slightly more. It would involve doing two marathons in two weeks. Gulp. I've applied to do the Moonwalk which is a walking marathon, and the one I'm looking at now is the week after that. I'm hoping that walking a marathon won't take too much out of my legs (and at least it will help me deal with the temptation to run too much during the taper!). I don't know whether I'll actually get a place in the Moonwalk anyway, I posted my entry but haven't heard anything. If I do, fingers crossed that walking the distance won't slow me down horribly the week after.

So, I can now announce that (subject to confirming the details and not being rejected by the "ballot") YP's European Marathon tour will be paying a visit to...

EDINBURGH

on 27 MAY 2007

Now for the fun bit. I know that there are some Edinburgh girlies who check up on me every so often, so here's the plan. I'll probably come up on the Saturday and go back down south on the Monday (bank holiday). I won't really want to do much on the Saturday other than going to the expo, eating carbs and sleeping, but on the Sunday night I wouldn't say no to meeting up for a meal and a few drinks to celebrate (a) finishing and (b) my birthday, which is the Thursday of the following week. Of course, you may all have fantastic and exciting plans for the bank holiday weekend, in which case I will entertain myself without too many worries. It won't be anything too rowdy, but it would be lovely to see anyone who is around that weekend. (I'd be even more delighted if you stand along the course to cheer me on and hand me jelly babies, but that would just be greedy! Or even if you decide to join in!)

There are no firm plans yet, but if you're interested make a note of the date in your diary, let me know you're up for it and we can sort out the details closer to the time.

In praise of running club

2006-10-26T20:13:00.000+01:00

All bow down to the mighty power of a club training run. Last night's run was a half marathon training run for the brave, or the normal 5 - 6 miler for those who didn't fancy it. I foolishly said I'd probably be up for the half when I left on Monday. I won't manage a long run at the weekend, so I thought it would be a good opportunity to do one midweek. Come yesterday afternoon it was pouring with rain, and even 5 miles seemed unappealing. But I had my stuff in my bag, and I'd said I'd be there. So I went.

In the end only three of us turned up for the 6.30 start (there was also an option of doing it faster at 7, or the short run at 7). Me, the person who introduced me to the club (and who is slower than me) and one older guy. Everyone else chickened out. I have to say that I didn't really blame them, but I was going to see it through.

Before I set out I did consider putting my car keys in my pocket. I get the bus to running club and my car was at home, but I knew that at about the 6 or 7 mile mark we'd pass within a mile of my house before heading back to the leisure centre. It was tempting to go out with the fallback plan of running 8 miles, picking up the car and driving back to pick up my stuff. I managed to persuade myself not to do it, I was in for the long haul (although admittedly Jill did bring a mobile with her).

When we set out we realised just how bad the rain was. Within minutes my socks were soaked and my trainers filling with water as I trudged through the unavoidable puddles and perfected the technique of pulling one leg through the spray sent up by the other foot as it hit the water. I was utterly soaked very quickly, and it somehow seemed pointless trying to move away from the edge of the pavement as a bus headed towards a puddle, because it couldn't have made us any wetter anyway.

Our pace was slow, slower than I'm used to doing long training runs. Because it was dark and wet and there were only three of us, we stuck together pretty much all the way round. There were times when I'd run ahead and then stop and wait for the other two to catch up, but I realised that I kept warmer if I was continuously moving, however slowly, than if I ran a bit faster and then stopped entirely. You got cold very quickly once you stopped. There were times where we ended up running in the middle of the road because of puddles that covered the pavement as well as the edge of the road, and times where we just ran through them. Dodging the traffic on a busy dual carriageway was also interesting.

I was surprised how easy I found it at that pace. We still averaged just over 11 minutes per mile, which isn't tortoise speed, but slower than my normal pace of nearer 10 minutes per mile. After 6 miles or so I was, apart from being soaked, feeling pretty fresh, and breezed up a hill that I'd never had the guts to run before (I usually plan my runs so that I run down it and come back a different way if I'm heading in that direction). Or maybe thinking about the wetness stopped me thinking about the distance? Anyway, this morning my legs barely felt like they'd done anything (a huge difference from how they felt after the Amsterdam half!).

Well, with one big exception. About a mile or so from the end, I stood on a random piece of car bumper that was on the pavement, and it threw me off balance. I spent the next four or five steps trying to prevent the inevitable. I knew I was heading towards the pavement, but just wondered if I could stop myself. I couldn't. Luckily there was no major damage. I was covered in grit, which stuck to my sodden clothes, and I had various grazes, but nothing was broken. We walked for a while, then started running because it was too cold to walk in such wet clothes, and it was close enough to the finish not be a daunting run with a slightly sore leg. It was painful to sleep on that side of my body overnight, and this morning I felt like I had a huge bruise down the side of my right leg, and my right palm is pretty grazed, but I suppose I got off pretty lightly with that one.

I've never been so relieved to go inside as I was at the end of that run. Not least because despite our relative slowness we beat the faster 7pm group back (I'd been expecting to be overtaken). My palm was stinging, I was soaked to the skin, and I just wanted to smother myself in towels and sit somewhere hot with soup or hot chocolate. Instead I peeled my clothes off (harder than you'd think when they've been stuck to you for the past 2+ hours) put on some vaguely dry clothes, immediately soaked my dry socks by putting my trainers back on, and headed to the pub to wait for the bus. They don't do anything particularly warming in the pub though (real working man's club type place - beer, beer or beer), so I had a very quick pint and headed back out for the bus. When I changed buses I've never been so glad to see a bus turn up 5 minutes early, cutting the time I had to wait outside between the two!

The great thing is though that I vaguely enjoyed it and I'm certainly glad I did it. I'd never have run a half marathon (or a "nearly half" marathon - the main loop is 12.5 miles, but there are a couple of detours to make up the distance which we didn't do) in that sort of weather, in the dark, after work, on my own. Possibly there are good reasons for that. But it proved to me that I can run better than I thought (I was easily the strongest runner in our little group most of the way round), that I can stick runs out when they feel horrible, and that I don't need to run for shelter at the first sign of raindrops. If joining a club can give me the accountability and incentive to head out for runs like that (and finish them), then it could be one of the best decisions I've made.

Energy and desire

2006-10-24T19:25:00.000+01:00

I'm feeling strangely energised at the moment. I don't know whether it's eating better or running with company, but I'm really enthusiastic about my exercise again. I had a great run with the running club on Monday evening, outrunning a couple of people who were faster than me last week, and I even managed a hill I'd never dreamt I'd be able to run up (I've driven it before, but never run it). We have the option of doing the Leeds half marathon route tomorrow (or a shorter run if not), and I'm not trying to find an excuse to get out of it, I'm up for it. I'm doing 2 workouts some days (gentle swimming before work, and running afterwards), and I'm feeling much better about myself and my running than I have done for a while.

It sounds strange, but I almost regret doing Berlin. I don't regret the fact that I've done a marathon, and no-one can take Berlin away from me, but I do think that I rushed into it too soon, and without enough of a running base to cope with it. I got round, and I'm glad I did it, but would I have found the whole experience more enjoyable if I'd waited a while longer? I got a bit carried away with my rush towards doing ever longer and longer races. In spring I was enjoying my running, and getting faster all the time. I then focussed on distance, struggled, and lost a lot of the speed I'd acquired over winter.

Marathon training was just a bit mechanical and structured. There was no time when I could just get out of bed, see what I fancied doing, and just run. I always had to push myself to get in those extra couple of miles over what I actually felt like doing. Because I was at the top end of my comfort zone, it always felt like hard work. There were no really easy runs to help me recover, because even the short ones were pretty long compared to what I was used to doing. I was trying to run too fast, too. There were occasional moments of enjoyment, but there was a lot of hard slog.

I couldn't dream of a 47 minute 10k at the moment, which is what I managed in April, but I'm starting to see light at the end of the tunnel, and believing that I can get back into that sort of shape again.

This weekend, I just went out with no clear idea of where I was going or for how long, and I just ran for the fun of it. On Saturday I ran for longer than I expected, because I got to the lake and it was a beautiful morning and the lake looked amazing, so I ran round it. On Sunday I did a shorter run, because it was colder than it looked outside, and my legs were getting cold in shorts. Both days I modified my route on the way round a couple of times, taking bits away, adding bits, according to how I felt at the precise moment. At running club I know that I can run at whatever pace I feel like, because there are always people faster to chase, or slower to recover with. I can cover the distance having a leisurely chat, or I can really go for it. Or I can go for a mixture of the two on different legs of the run. There's usually a group which heads back early too, if I want a shorter run, and you only need to decide after the first mile or two.

At the moment I have a vague weekly target of 20 - 25 miles, but I'm not too fussy about how I hit that. I run because I want to run, and I have time to swim, and do weights, and mix my exercise up far more than I did over summer. It's nice having that freedom

Apparently if I've got into FLM I should know on Friday, because that's when the cheques usually clear if you've got in through the ballot. But, heresy of heresies, I'm almost wondering whether I'd be better off not doing a spring marathon next year, and waiting until autumn, or even until the year after. I suspect that if I do get in, I'll go through with it rather than deferring until 2008, but I'm not convinced that would be the best thing for my running. Ah well, it's pretty unlikely that I'll get in anyway.

Belonging

2006-10-23T22:20:00.000+01:00

Today I parted with £21. For that I get running club membership, a club vest and a reflective bib.

I did it, I signed on the dotted line and signed my life away. Or at least the running part of it. That's a price worth paying for race discounts, a vest, training runs with company, extra chances to get into big races and friendship with like minded people, surely? It will keep me out of trouble over winter, and get me what must be close to the cheapest pints in Leeds (hmm, not so sure that's an advantage, thinking about it...)

It feels odd though, committing myself to a team, complete with team vest and its name alongside mine in race results from now on. I kind of feel like I should have some connection with a place before wearing their colours, something more than them training at a relatively work and bus friendly time and place. If I'm going to represent a team, I want that team to mean something to me, so I care about doing well for them*. What real connection do I have with Kirkstall? Should I be representing them, and should I be committing myself so quickly to a club with an ethos and values I haven't really discovered yet?

But where do I identify with? Where else, if not Kirkstall? Where I grew up, and haven't lived for over 10 years? I wouldn't exactly make training that often there. Where I went to university? Snap. Where I lived either side of university? Snap. Where I live now? Where the closest club is ultra competitive, and awkwardly located? I don't have strong roots in any one place, and there's nowhere I particularly feel like I "belong". Ironically, Kirkstall probably is one of the closest clubs to where my grandparents have lived all my life, but is still that one step removed, taking the name of a slightly different suburb of the city. These small differences can make all the difference when it comes to belonging and identity.

At heart, I suspect that part of my indecision comes down to my reluctant Yorkshire-ness. I've always been acutely aware of the fact that I'm half Lancashire, half Yorkshire. While old county rivalries aren't maybe ingrained as much as they used to be, this is still a big one, and one that keeps rearing its head in a joking way in rugby circles at least. I've always had the "born down south" get out, but as time goes by, and I spend more time in Yorkshire I'm less and less inclined to move over to the other side, even though I still have family and a rugby club to support over there.

By wearing Kirkstall on my vest I'll be slipping irretrievably into Yorkshire-ness. At races in Lancashire I'd be marked out as from the other side of the hills, and I'd be giving out a signal that I belong to Yorkshire now. Is that, or is that not, the most pathetic excuse you've ever heard?

So I tried to put those thoughts to the back of my mind, and paid the money before I chickened out. I enjoy the runs, I have no problem with the pace (I'm not the slowest, but there are plenty faster than me to aspire to keep up with). It's easy to get to, and it's good value.

And now it's done. I'm signed up, and I will belong, whether I want to or not.

*Incidentally, this may help my racing, if I can start to feel like the club matters. At the moment if I don't think I can do a PB I ease off far too much after about 2/3 of the race and just potter to the finish. If there's a possibility of getting team points, or beating other club members then maybe it will keep me going so I at least perform as well as I can on the day, even if it's not my absolute best.

I did it!

2006-10-19T21:31:00.000+01:00

I went to a running club! And it was OK! I wasn't the slowest, or the fattest, or the most unfit. I kept up with the group I was in with no problems, and there weren't any scary running freaks there. Even the fast group seemed relatively normal (and not too fast by the standards of some of the more serious clubs, so not too daunting).

It worked quite well in terms of splitting up into different groups and doing slight variations on the route so the faster runners could cover a bit more ground and meet back up with the slower groups. It did seem quite strange only running a mile or two at a time, then stopping and waiting for everyone to catch up, but it means you can run the different legs at different speeds if you want, so I could try to keep up with a faster group at some point during the run and recover with a slower group at other points.

Plus afterwards they meet in what must be the cheapest bar in Leeds. £1.64 a pint! I managed to restrict myself to a single pint of lager, and a soft drink. I'll try not to spend too long in the pub in future, because there's only 1 bus an hour home it meant I only got back at 10.30, and 9.30 would be a lot more manageable in terms of getting some sleep.

I haven't signed up officially yet, and I haven't got my natty purple vest, but I suspect that by this time next week if I've been to two more runs in the meantime, I may well have done.

And then I really will be a proper runner, with a membership card to prove it.

Amsterdam...

2006-10-16T20:02:00.000+01:00

...was fun, but not my best race ever. Although to be fair I'm somewhat impressed with my race prediction skills. I suspected that after slowing down during Berlin training I'd be somewhere around the 2 hour mark, and came in at 2:00:29. I'm gutted not to squeeze under 2 hours or get nearer my PB (1:53), but I'll take that as still a respectable time, and something that I can start building on as I try to get some speed back in my legs over winter.

Saturday was great fun, meeting up with Kylie and Jen (with my mother in tow), wandering round Amsterdam, carb loading (v. important), eating fondue (with lots of bread - see carb loading) and getting a nice early night being rocked to sleep on a houseboat. Having company took my mind off the race a lot more than when I was in Berlin and the race was the only thing I really thought about, but that might also be a reflection of my training (or lack thereof) for this one - it was basically a case of turn up and see what happens.

Sunday was odd, with the race starting at 2pm. We found an eat as much as you like breakfast buffet, took it to extremes and aimed to get through to the race with just a bit of a snack around lunchtime. The plan worked pretty well actually, although at lot of Sunday did seem to be spent just hanging around waiting for the race to start. I like to get them out of the way then there's more time for eating and drinking later. Particularly when you have an evening flight home.

Once we'd said goodbye to Kylie in town, we headed for the start. We ended up taking our cases down to the race with us because there were no lockers at the station, luckily it wasn't a "use the designated bag" sort of baggage storage facility, and they happily took 2 cases off me so Mum didn't have to sit with them for the whole race. We sat her down in the Olympic Stadium, watched the finish of the marathon and eventually headed off to the start. I was in a different pen to Jen and ended up standing freezing for about half an hour waiting for the gun to go. (Why is it that it was really cold all weekend until about 2.15 on Sunday, then the sun came out as soon as we got going?)

I started surprisingly well. From memory I got to 5k in about 27 minutes, 10k in about 54 minutes and 15k in about 1 hour 23. From that you may gather that my pre-race plan of taking it easy until the last 3 miles didn't exactly come to pass. Quite the opposite really, I set off at a pace I couldn't maintain. Not faster than I've run before, but before the start I worried that I wouldn't be able to sustain my normal half marathon pace for the full distance at the moment, and I was proved right. From about 16k on my hip started to niggle and, even more worryingly, the Lucozade I was carrying so that I didn't have to risk Gatorade wasn't agreeing with my stomach either. Not in a Berlin style, but there was a bit of a reaction that I didn't want to aggravate. I started to slow down and take little walk breaks. When my hip hurts I find that the best way to sort it out is to walk about 100 metres with a very deliberate and correct walking action, and that sorts it out for a while. My lungs and leg muscles could have carried on running, but I didn't want the hip pain to get too bad so I took a couple of walk breaks.

After 16 or 17k the 1:55 pacers went past me, and I knew that this wouldn't be a PB run. One thing I really want to sort out is that once I know that a PB or my pre-race target time is out of the window I have a tendency to give up mentally, and stop racing. I still get to the finish but I don't put too much effort into it. The same happened, and my slow down got a lot slower, bringing me home just outside 2 hours. I wish that I'd put just that bit more effort in so that my time started with a 1, but overall I can't be too disappointed. It might be a PW, but some people would like a PB of 2 hours, let alone that being their slowest time.

And I had a fun weekend, which was what this race was all about. We waited for Jen to finish, got the bags back and then I headed back to the airport with mum while Jen went back to the houseboat to meet up with Kylie again. I managed a bit of soup and some apple cake at the airport (why does running halves and above always kill my appetite?), would have fallen asleep on the plane had the flight been more than 40 minutes long, drove home from the airport and went pretty much straight to bed. Back in work on Monday morning, another European race done.

--------------------------------

However, fun as Amsterdam was, the big breakthrough was with mum. She's never seen me run before and I think yesterday she finally saw how much it means to me, and how finishing a race can light up someone's face, no matter how long it takes. I didn't actually tell her about Berlin for ages because I didn't want to worry her or make her fear for my sanity. But far from worrying about me running marathons or thinking I'm stupid for attempting it, she saw a couple at the expo that appealed her as city break/running combinations (she wants a family trip to Barcelona and for me to run there!), and quizzed me on the way home about other places I might want to run in future.

Even more worrying, she forwarded me a link to an ultra this morning. Actually, that's not the worrying bit. The worrying bit is that despite me always thinking that a marathon is far enough and I'd never want to go further than that, I'm actually tempted. The Trans Gran Canaria October West-East route looks fantastic, and it finishes metres from her house (which is about as far as I'd be able to stagger after 67k and a 2000 metre climb on trails through the mountains). Actually, it finishes outside a row of bars which might be even better... I've been reading through the information on the website (or as much of it as I can understand) and it looks like there's a 24 hour cut off which should be possible, even with a lot of walking. The first woman this year took over 10 hours, so it's not something where you're expected to be particularly fast, and I imagine it would be a fantastic experience.

Stop. Right. There.

Did I, or did I not, say that a marathon was as far as I'd go? No ultras. Particularly not hilly ultras. (And when I say hilly, just look at the course profile by clicking on La Carrera and scrolling down).

Ahem.

But it is very tempting, and it's a big enough goal for me to be able to work up to it over a couple of years, to replace the marathon as the big one. October 2008 at the earliest, maybe 2009 (on the basis I'm planning a trip to Australia in October 2008). If I want to do it, I need to build up for it properly. Even if I don't run it, it's still a long way, and one hell of a climb. So that means more marathons (and maybe making them a bit hillier). It means another go or two at the Belper 30k. It means doing the Three Peaks walk (40k-ish and 736, 723 and 694 metres for the three peaks) a few times - first as a walk and then, later, attempting to run bits of it. On a practical note it also means improving my Spanish so I can understand the instructions.

Did I just say that? I'm sure that there must be a limit to my insanity somewhere, but I'm not quite sure that I've found where it is yet...

In the Club

2006-10-11T20:31:00.000+01:00

I've actually summoned up some enthusiasm for Amsterdam now. I still have no idea how I'm going to run, but have come up with some vague race tactics to suit how I'm feeling (basically the recommended "don't go off too fast, then push the pace in the last 3 miles or so if you feel good"), and I'm hopefully in a fit state to get under 2 hours, even if I don't get a PB.

The big news though is that after months of dithering I'm getting closer to join a real life running club (and not one in Hampshire this time). As the mornings get darker and darker I'm realising how much nicer it would be to have company when I'm running in the dark. For safety, but also for motivation to get me out there when it's cold and wet.

Before my main motivation for joining a club was for the discounts, and it would still be nice. But increasingly I'm actually interested in how it would help my running and get me through winter.

I have had two big blocks to get over with running clubs to date. The first is that they train in the evening at times that aren't particularly convenient for me. I'm a morning person anyway, and I just can't get out to a club on the outskirts of the city by about 6.20 on a weeknight, particularly by public transport. The club I'm looking at now still trains in the evening, but it's closer to the office (yet still on a bus route that passes within a km or so of my house), and it meets at 7 rather than 6.30, and in rush hour that extra half hour could make all the difference. It doesn't train too late (I saw one that meets at 7.45, which would be a bit late for me really), but it's not too early either.

The second block was just my general shyness when it comes to breaking into a group of people I don't know and turning up for the first time on my own. This might be sorted, I came across Kirkstall as a recommendation from someone I chat to on a running forum, so even though we've never met in person, we have a bit more of a "relationship" than just sending off an email to the contact address on the website and getting a standard response that doesn't answer the questions I asked. (This is also reassuring because I know she's slower than I am - with current goals of getting under 60 minutes for 10k and under 2:15 for a half - and I therefore won't be the slowest there).

I'm actually quite keen on the idea at the moment. They train two nights a week so assuming I could get along regularly that would mean that I would only really have one midweek run to do on my own in the dark, if that (based on 4 - 5 runs per week, with 2 in daylight at the weekend). There would be the social side too, and some more structured coaching if I wanted it. It just about works logistically, and hopefully vaguely knowing someone would take away the anxiety about turning up for the first time.

I'm not going this week because I've done all my pre-Amsterdam running, but next week might be a possibility depending how my legs feel.

Unless I chicken out before then!

Don't let me do it...

2006-10-08T16:49:00.000+01:00

I had a really good 9 mile run today at a decent, yet pretty comfortable, pace. I'm feeling ready for Amsterdam half now, and might even be able to coax a PB out of it if I'm lucky.

Except there's a problem. It's possible to register for any of the races on the day. And one of the races is a full marathon. I want to do another one, and maybe my legs still have enough left in them to try again.

It would be a stupid stupid idea, and I think that I'll see it for the insanity that it is, and just go for the half, but part of me wonders whether with no cold, no period and no heatwave I might be able to improve on Berlin, even without training specifically for it...

That sound you just heard was me hitting myself to knock stupid ideas out of my head.

I will run the half, and that's it. Stop me if you see me heading towards the marathon registration desk...

Video Evidence!

2006-09-27T21:35:00.000+01:00

Click here, select Berlin Marathon and enter number F4395...

I start right at the back of the frame on the left hand side, in a bright pink top...

Recovering

2006-09-27T20:27:00.000+01:00

3.7 miles today, my legs are definitely recovering. It's nice just being able to run for fun again, to wake up in the morning and decide how far I fancy running, depending on how my legs feel, and how my brain feels.

How you know you're a runner... you complete a marathon and still want to go out on a cold dark morning for a run to loosen your legs up.

Legs

2006-09-26T21:05:00.000+01:00

My legs actually felt stiffer today than they did yesterday, but I still went out for a 2 mile run to keep them moving again. I'm not expecting to break any records in Amsterdam, and that's not why I'm running it, but I want to keep my legs moving a bit so that I can at least run all the way and have fun rather than struggling through it.

I liked the pain in my quads today though. Every time I took a step and they twinged it was a reminder of what I've done, just in case I was danger of forgetting. I've earned that pain, and I'm proud of it.

Hopefully I'll manage 3 or 4 miles tomorrow, but I'll see how I feel when I get up.

The day after....

2006-09-25T20:34:00.000+01:00

Thank you everyone for your comments, it really means a lot to me. One thing I forgot to say yesterday (there were so many things I wanted to say yesterday that my fingers ran out of energy) was that I thought about you lot on the way round, and it really helped me. Just knowing that I can inspire people to do things they never thought were possible, and that people out there who I've never met actually care about what I do really kept me going. That might have been one of the other times I started welling up. There were quite a few times where that happened...

Jackie - I didn't get any text updates either. Not that I had my phone on me, but I was hoping to have them on it when I got back so I could check my times without queueing for a printout.

I've found all the splits on the internet though (although no photos as yet). Roughly (I haven't got them in front of me as I type), the first half took 2:08, and the second half 2:43 (does that add up to 4:51?) My two slowest half marathon times ever, but then I don't normally run them back to back! Actually, splitting it out like that puts things into perspective - the people who wanted me to do the Great North Run with them are aiming for 2:30 - 2:40 for the half - and I managed that time for the second half of the full marathon, with a dodgy stomach.

My legs feel fine tomorrow, and tomorrow I want to get out there and run, just for fun and the pleasure of it. Not too far, but something. I think, from the way my legs feel today, that I had more in them than I used yesterday, and that is giving me a great incentive to get out there sometime in the future and try another marathon to see what I can do, hopefully without the heat and pain!

But for now I'm just celebrating with some sparkling red wine (which I like far more than sparkling white/champagne) and utterly decadent chocolates.

Meanwhile I will leave you with some photos...

Me at the end...

Me at the Brandenburg Gate today...

And the Brandenburg Gate made out of chocolate...

I ran a marathon!

2006-09-24T19:00:00.000+01:00

They do say that things come in threes. Well, the three things that I'd have put top of my “please, not on marathon day” list all trundled along as I feared.

1.TOM
2.Cold
3.Bakingly hot weather.

In a way it was a good thing. No, really. It made me take the pressure off myself. I knew from the way the weather was looking and the way I was feeling that I was never going to run a fast time, or achieve anything near my potential. But equally, you don't train and plan for months and then not turn up on the day. Maybe if I was an experienced marathoner, only here to do a good time I'd have pulled out, but when it's your first and you've been building up to it since February you go out, you do it, you just change your goals a little. (Obviously there are limits to that, you don't just go out and do it anyway if it would be stupid to do it, but if it's safe, it will just slow you down a bit, you don't pull out at this stage. Or at least I don't.)

On Saturday I was strangely calm. I expected to be sent into a bit of a panic by getting here and realising how big a task I was taking on, but I wasn't. It was very much like before my first half. I wasn't worried. I knew that I'd trained as well as I realistically could have done, and I knew that I could just go out there and see what happened.

I got to Berlin OK after a strange shock when I realised there were people on the flight who didn't even know it was happening. I'd kind of assumed that marathon fever would be apparent from check in onwards, but while there were other runners on the plane, we weren't the majority. I suppose I shouldn't have been too surprised, I remember the time I went to Rome on the weekend of the Rome marathon in 1999 and didn't know about it until I saw them running round. I think the word I used in my head to describe them was “lunatics”.

I checked in at the hotel and felt very smug when the receptionist asked whether I was here for the marathon (I look like a runner!) and handed me the price list for massages in the hotel health club. I had another smug moment when I got to the bedroom and double checked that, as in Prague, the hotel bathrobe not only goes round me (I remember the days when it got nowhere near) but crosses over loads.

I went out to the expo. This is where I started to see the lunacy of one aspect of the whole plan. Not the running a marathon bit, but running a marathon in a country where I don't speak a word of the language, and in a city with the most complicated public transport system known to man. From what I can gather there are engineering works on one of the bits of the line between the town centre and the expo, and some trains are being diverted, and trains in both directions go from one platform at one of the stations. They make lots of announcements in German about what to do, you have to get on and off trains, and they don't follow the routes on the map. Except for me it's very much pot luck whether I even get in one going in the right direction, let alone on the right route.

At the expo I kept my head down and headed straight for the registration bit. I was armed with bits of paper, thrust them at people and got pointed in the right direction. I feel I should apologise to Germany, I normally make a bit more of an attempt to learn the language, but this time I was truly shocking. I can actually understand menus (just about) from skills picked up in Gran Canaria. There are lots of German tourists, and German restaurants in GC. I go to GC a lot, and I haven't been to Germany for well over 10 years, maybe 15. In GC waiters and the like sometimes ask for your order in German, I then reply in Spanish because I know more of it. This has led to the truly bizarre instinctive responsethat when I get asked for my order in German IN GERMANY I try to reply in Spanish. How to confuse people in one easy step...

Anyway, race number, chip and finishers t-shirt acquired, I then set out for the second part of my Expo task – finding some “Basica Sport” to try. I've done almost all of my training with Lucozade, and I've never come across this bizarre German sports drink before. But I knew that, short of carrying litres and litres of Lucozade with me, I'd have to drink it on the way round, and I wanted to try some before the race just to check it was digestible. It seemed to be (but more on that later).

There's one thing about Germany – you don't need to worry about going without a huge carby, starchy meal. I wanted an early night, so went to a hotel just over the road from the hotel for some baked mozarella with rocket, cherry tomatoes and tagliatelle. I really did struggle to finish it. And while one part of me was pleased that I seemed to have learned something and was wanting to stop eating with something left on my plate, the other part of me was trying to force it down in an effort to carb load as much as I could. I'd only had a bready type thing for lunch, and hadn't really made much headway on the Jaffa Cakes and Malt Loaf, because the cold had killed my appetite, but I realised that not eating was precisely the way NOT to prepare for the race, so forced the rest of the pasta down.

Then back to the hotel to pack my race bag, pin my number on my top and above all attempt to sleep. I'd worried that I wouldn't sleep through excitement, when it was actually my cold doing most of the damage to my sleep patterns. Waking up every so often because I couldn't breathe wasn't the way I'd hoped to spend the night, although at least it saved me from my now customary mistake of setting the alarm on my phone for the time I want to get up without changing the time zone. I do this every time I go away, you'd think I'd have learned by now!

Up on Sunday morning I got myself down to breakfast, which was a fantastic spread. But I knew what sort of things I wanted to be eating and stuck to those. I'd taken my own tried and tested muesli down with me (wouldn't want the hotel to only have one with bits of dried banana aka the devil's fruit in it), and wanted to get some fresh fruit and yoghurt to have with it. Not a problem. I also wanted a couple of slices of dark German rye bread with butter and jam. Check. All in all a success.

To the start. This is where it really started hitting me what I was about to do. I ignored the warm up. I'm unco-ordinated at those things at the best of times, so attempting to follow orders barked out in German just wasn't going to happen. I just watched, tried not to move around too much, got in the toilet queue. Got back in the toilet queue. And so on.

We were right at the back. The last pen is for people doing their first marathon and slow people, so I fitted right in. The fast people and the wheelchairs and everyone else got off, and finally we got walked to the start for the Block H start. I have to admit there were a couple of times before the start that I was practically in tears, which I thought didn't bode well for my emotional state at the end. Damn them and their playing of inspirational music!

And finally, at about 9.15, we were off. It seemed to be a pretty good start, we were running as we crossed the start line (the block in front had gone then they left a couple of minutes before starting us). I got into a decent stride and was really happy with my progress. I got to 5k without any trouble, 10k, 15k, 20k and through the half way point. I was taking drinks and gels roughly on schedule, and feeling pretty good. I had a loo stop, but didn't lose any time queuing. German efficiency!

Then at about 24k it all started to go wrong. For one thing, running at 9am under clear blue skies hadn't been so bad, but the heat had really started to build by 11.30. And there were the other problems. It started in my stomach. I don't know whether it was period pain, a bad reaction to the Basica, or my stomach reacting from being given so much sugar and refined carbs in the past 48 hours. At first it was just a heaviness, and pain. At this stage I was running between water stations and then walking the whole length of them. In the first half I'd only walked for the part of the water station where I was actually drinking, so my walk breaks were much longer at this stage than they had been earlier. I also noticed that my cold had moved from my nose to my chest, and that when I needed to cough they were the sort of coughs that have you stopping, bending double, coughing out phlegm (sorry for TMI, and apologies in advance for more to come) and then carrying on. Not the sort of coughs you can do on the run.

Having run a decent first half I was definitely slowing down. I also realised that when I attempted to take more energy on board, whether it was from a gel, Basica or jelly babies, it made my stomach a lot worse, so from then on in I decided that I'd stick to water, and try to use what energy I already had stored up inside me wisely.

And then it got worse. From the feeling I'd had between 24 and 30km or so that I might suddenly need to urgently find a loo for a bout of violent diarrhoea (I did warn you...), after 30k my stomach increased its rebellion. At this stage it decided that almost anything, including water, may induce a case of violent vomitting. Anything sugary was already out, but even water was threatening to start it off. This was a problem. On the one hand I didn't want to do anything that would leave me on the side of the road expelling a stream of fluorescent sports drinks and gels. But equally I knew that in those temperatures, not drinking would be a very bad idea indeed. I could just about manage to drink if I took longer walk breaks straight after doing it, so that's what I decided to do. At this point I knew that any hope of my original 4 hour dream was out of the window, and all I wanted to do was to get to the finish in one piece. Well, actually there were two things I wanted to do. The second was to run through the Brandenburg gate up to the finish line.

I started planning inside my head. By this stage my plan also had to take account of the fact that my pinned ankle was starting to twinge a bit. That's not something I want to flare up again, so I didn't want to aggravate that either. The basic plan was to walk a lot of the remaining distance, keeping going without throwing up (oh how I wanted to!), conserving a bit of energy for the final push. I took run breaks (as they now were) occasionally, just to remind me that I was a runner and not a walker, but I tried to store up a bit of momentum for the last km. I ticked the km markers off slowly. 36, 37, 38, 39, 40. At 40 I started to well up a bit because we turned back towards the finish and it was a pretty much straight run from there, moreover one that I'd walked a couple of times yesterday. I walk/ran from 40 to 41, and at just past 41 I decided to go for it. I could see the Brandenburg Gate and while I knew that the finish was further up, I knew it wasn't too much further.

I started to run. I ran past walker after walker after walker. I closed in on the gate and the photographers. I kept on running. I ran past the 42km marker, and I kept on running. I saw the finishing line getting closer and closer and closer, and I wasn't going to stop now. I ran across the finish line with my head held high.

I'd done it!!!

It wasn't a perfect run, I finished in 4:51:26, a fair bit slower than I'd been hoping for (and with the second half taking pretty much 3 hours of that). But I'd finished. I can now say that I've run a marathon. That's pretty unbelievable.

I got my medal, and some water, I went to the loo, I had a biscuit, and a Lucozade recovery drink from my bag. So far so good. I was walking around, taking my chip back for a refund, getting some people to take a photo of me with my medal. I took my trainers off and discovered, miracle of miracles, no blisters. Even better, only one bit of chaffing – and I'm really proud of it, because my sports bra rubbed my collar bone, which proves once and for all that they do stick out rather prominently!

I went to the medal engraving place and that's where it started to go wrong. Having handed my medal in to be engraved with my name and time, I was in the queue to pick it back up again when I started to feel very faint. I got out of the queue and sat down against the tent. I sat for a while, then felt better and got back in the queue. And then nearly fainted again.

Handy tips when running a marathon in a country where you don't speak the language. Instead of writing your name on your top, or on a plain piece of paper pinned to your top, buy a postcard with the Union Jack (or flag of choice) on it, write your name on it and pin it to your top. (It worked, I got people shouting at me in English on the way round). That way, when you're lying down by the side of the medal engraving point, people ask you whether you're OK in English. I suspected that I needed more water, and a lovely lovely German man gave me a bottle of it.

I finally got my medal back (I wasn't leaving without it! I most certainly did not want a doctor before I got my hands on that precious medal with my name on it). And, wisely turning down the free beer, I went to lie down under a tree, wrapped in a space blanket. Again, people were checking if I was OK, and I waved them away, although at this point I was deciding which option would be preferable – fainting in a toilet queue or releasing a stream of shit where I lay in an attempt to relieve the stomach pain. (Again, apologies for the graphic nature of this post). This is the part of the day where I most missed having a supporter with me. Not for cheering me on en route, or handing over drinks, but someone to lie me down somewhere cool after the race and go and fetch water and other supplies for me. Luckily the pain subsided before I embarassed myself fully.

After half an hour or so I felt well enough to walk back to the hotel, picking up a slightly salted bready thing on the way back (which I managed to eat half of before the pain returned). I made it back to the hotel, made use of the facilities, and lay down for a couple of hours rest (and typing this up, to be uploaded at later).

What this tells me is important. Firstly, while I might be able to run faster than I did today (and I'm sure that I can), if I'd tried to push myself any harder than I did, that fainting, queasy spell might have happened earlier and stopped me finishing the race. I felt grotty enough afterwards as it was, and I know that I did the right thing by slowing down and just aiming to finish.

And secondly, it means I now have a marathon PB to aim to beat next time I run one! That London application might just make it into the post on Tuesday or Wednesday, now I have a “previous best” time to put on the form.

I'm definitely feeling more alive now, so I think I'll have a shower, head out for a celebratory drink or two, and see where the evening takes me. I'm wary of drinking too much on the basis that I still don't feel much like eating anything and I suspect that rehydrating with alcohol isn't wholly recommended, but it would seem wrong to come to Germany, run a marathon, and not celebrate it in the traditional German way.

After all, I deserve it. I am a marathon runner!

M - 2: Back to basics

2006-09-22T20:20:00.000+01:00

I hear you all asking, haven't you left yet? This last week seems to be going on forever. I am leaving for Germany in the morning, although as I'll have the computer with me that's no guarantee that I'll shut up.

There were two things I've been paranoid about for ages. The first was getting a cold this week. The second was getting my period. Today, a fantastically timed double whammy. The cold I've been trying to stave off has finally broken, as has TOM. Brilliant. I'm currently working on the hope that they'll both be relatively short lived, and on their last legs by Sunday. If not, well I'll take it a bit easier than I hoped, but I'll get round.

So with both of those making their presence felt, I really didn't fancy doing my last easy 2 mile loosening up run today. I didn't do it before work, and on the way home it was pouring with rain and I almost skipped it then too.

But then sanity hit, and the rain started easing off, and I decided to go out. I'm so glad that I did.

The thing about 2 mile runs is that I rarely do anything that short. And because it's not far there's only a limited choice of routes. So my 2 mile route took me back right to where it all started. Summer 2004, before I joined the gym, when I was "training" for the 1 mile Sport Relief run. I wanted to start running, but I had no idea where to start.

Sometimes after work I'd go for a "run" down to the park and back. A mile there, a mile back. I'd start off with good intentions, run for 30 seconds (on a good day) and then slip into a run/walk pattern on the trip down to the park. Then, absolutely worn out, I'd walk back (except, I have to say, the spell which involved me passing a work colleague's house. I made sure I ran that bit, just in case he spotted me). There was absolutely no way I'd have thought of running it all.

Since that early, abortive, attempt to start running I've rarely done that course. When I was building up my running I mainly ran on the treadmill at the gym so I could measure time and distance more accurately, and once I started running outside I had no need of 2 mile routes.

So today was probably the first time I've run the route since those days back in 2004. It really hit home how hard I used to find that route and how much I used to struggle with it. Running it today it was easy and short. I didn't need to stop or walk, and I barely broke into a sweat.

That tells me how far I've come. No matter how I run on Sunday there's no way I'd have ever dreamed back then that I'd be standing on that start line a little over 2 years later, and that I'd be standing there a size 10. It isn't about how I run on one day, even if it is the biggest race I've ever done. It isn't about one day to make or break my running story. It's about the journey, and improvements over time.

So I'll sign off for now with a bit more perspective on things, and a bit less fear.

See you in Germany!

Public Accountability

2006-09-21T21:24:00.000+01:00

I've been weighing up whether to do this, but I think it will help (although I am generally more sane today. I managed to pack without having a panic attack, although I've been carefully avoiding looking at the clock on the sidebar for too long).

I said yesterday that I'm doing this for me, and I really am. I'm not raising money, I'm not doing this because it's someone else's dream. I'm doing it because it's my dream. It's not for my family or my friends, it's for me. I wanted it, I trained for it, and even if I don't manage it, I've only let myself down and not anyone else.

(On that subject, I haven't technically told my mother than I'm intending to run a marathon, although it's possible she's guessed. I'm waiting to surprise her when I see her on Thursday!)

BUT sometimes a bit of public accountability can spur you on a bit. If I'm not going too well then I could start thinking oh well, I could embelish the story a bit when I get online. They'll never know I actually walked the whole thing and took three days. I'd be lying to myself, and that's what matters, but sometimes it's just too easy to stretch the truth if you're not going to be found out.

So, in the spirit of accountability and to give me that bit more motivation to keep going when it gets tough I offer you the great YP marathon results service. I'm not actually running this, but it's free and I'm giving you all the details you need.

What you need to do is click here, and register for results using my number (F4395). The original info I had said that only three people could register, but the site doesn't mention any limits so having registered my phone number (so I can look at it every 10 minutes on Sunday evening) I'm letting you have the info. If it doesn't let you sign up, sorry. Also, if it doesn't work, that's not my fault either.

Of course, you don't actually have to sign up. It's just the knowledge that someone might have signed up that's enough to dissuade me from bending the truth a little when I get to write my race report!

(You can also watch the race here if you're in the US and want to pay out for it. I should point out though that I doubt I'll be up there with Haile and Sammy so the chances of seeing me are rather slim...)

M - 4: The Fear

2006-09-20T20:38:00.001+01:00

It's hit. I always thought it was coming, and am a bit surprised it's taken so long to arrive. I'm officially scared now.

It's taper madness. The less I run the more I think about running. I sit on the bus home from work and I'm actually jealous of people just out running for the fun of it. My mind is constantly consumed by thoughts of Berlin, and I can't concentrate on anything else. Once I've run out of sensible, rational thoughts (like what I need to remember to pack), I start to move onto the irrational unhelpful ones. That's where the problems start.

When your rational fears get mixed up with your irrational ones it gets out of control. It's one thing worrying about your ability to run 26.2 miles, but I suspect that, however much the thought scares me, if I can't do it it at least won't be because I gain 106lb between now and Sunday. But still, that thought crosses my mind. What if I wake up obese on Sunday? What if this has all been a dream, and at the last minute the evil weight gain fairy decides to pay me a visit. It's not a realistic possibility, and it's irrational, but the dark heart of my fear stems from the fact that the old me wouldn't have been able to attempt this, without taking account of the fact that the new me can. So I regress back in my mind to the old me, to a time when I stayed within my physical limitations without deciding to do anything stupid like marathon running.

My rational brain is trying to persuade my irrational screaming coward that it's OK. I won't break any records, and I may well need walk breaks, but I'll get round. I've done enough training to manage that. There is no reason to think I'm any less prepared than a lot of other people lining up at the start, and I've certainly done more than Jade Goody managed before London. (Mind you, I'm not intending to drop out after 18 miles either). I've trained relatively on schedule, although I've cut a few miles here and there, but I've done 4 runs between 17 and 20 miles, and that's not too bad.

I think that part of it stems from the isolation I'm feeling at the moment. I don't really know anyone in real life who has gone through this whole thing. I know a runner, but not people who are trying to do a marathon on such a quick turnaround from absolute couch potato. Two years ago I was 100lb heavier than I am now. I sometimes forget how quick the whole process has been, and that excites and scares me at the same time. In my brain it seems like it would have been a different experience to do it if you were already fit in the first place, and anyway, he doesn't seem particularly interested in my run. We're not particularly good friends, and every time I mention it he reacts like it's news to him that he's hearing for the first time. I wouldn't feel comfortable having a heart to heart with him at this stage. The truth is that this matters more to me than it does to anyone else. Much more. Of course there are people who are interested, but they don't all realise how big it is. How I used to sit there watching marathons on tv when I was eighteen and a half stone just wishing that one day I'd be fit enough to do that. How on Sunday I'm going to take on the biggest "unattainable" challenge I ever had.

I love travelling alone usually, but part of me is dreading Saturday night, as I sit alone in Berlin with a sense of impending doom. I don't want to be wasting my carefully stored energy on panic attacks or hysteria. There are times when I want a real life, tangible hug or kick up the arse rather than an online or remotely issued one. There aren't many times, but I'm starting to suspect that this is one of them. I keep telling myself that the achievement will be all the more special for having done it all myself, but that doesn't replace the fact that at 6am or so on Sunday morning I'll wake up alone in a hotel bedroom in Germany scared of what I've got to do and with no-one to snap me out of it.

I'm really hoping I get to meet up with some of the RW forumites before the race, maybe on the flight (there are some on my flight). Not that they'll be staying in my hotel bedroom, but at least I'll be able to talk to someone on the Saturday about my fears without seeming like a total nutcase, and remind myself that other people are going through the same things.

I'm sure this is natural. If it was easy everyone would do it. If it was easy the training wouldn't have dominated the last 6 months of my life. If it was easy it wouldn't be special. It's just that it's suddenly dawned on me that (other than a light 2 mile jog) the next time I put those trainers on I'll really have to do it, rather than just talking and thinking about it. All the talk and self analysis and training in the world can't replicate the reality of 36,000 people and 26.2 miles.

M - 5: Noooo....

2006-09-19T20:55:00.000+01:00

Yesterday I considered increasing my list of obsessions to 4, but didn't want to tempt fate.

The fourth was that on the bus on the way to work I noticed more people than normal coughing and sneezing. I immediately went into panic mode and worried that I'd catch something. I tried pathetically to cover my mouth with my hand, as though that would miraculously make me germ free (when all it actually did was encourage me to breathe through my nose). Maybe this is more of a paranoia thing than an obsession.

I tried not to get too worked up, after all they weren't sitting that near me, were they?

I'm not sure. This morning I felt a bit mucus-y. (Sorry if you're eating). It's not a full blown cold at this stage, but it's just not quite right. Admittedly it did get better during the day. I really hope that it's nothing and won't develop, but I've been dosing up on vitamin C and cold cures all day, just in case. Prevention is better than cure...

-----------------------------------------------------

Today I've also been giving some thought to my race plan. I have my HRM/footpod combo, and it's the first time I'll have raced in them, so I can be a bit more precise than usual. But I don't want to get too caught up with them, because my plan, at heart, is simple. Run, but not too fast, for as far as possible and then get to the end any way you can.

But in terms of things that will help me do that...

First part of the plan - don't get too hung up on what the HRM says in the early stages. I always get really high percentages, and I suspect that my maximum heart rate is higher than what the HRM estimates. Equally, for a first marathon I just want to run at a pace I feel happy with, rather than a pre-determined pace. I'm not going to write an endless list of split times down to refer to, and I'm not going to have any set in stone ideas. In an ideal world I'd like to think I could hit 9 minute miles. My training is in that ballpark -- my best long run was done at pretty much 10 minute miles, so on race day, nicely rested and full of adrenaline, I may well be able to go faster, and 9 minute miles is the sort of pace I've been hitting naturally throughout the taper. But if that's not what the monitor shows then I'm not going to try to speed up to hit it, and I'll leave the 4 hour marathon for another day.

Second part - energy - I have gels in a waist pack, and I've also got jelly babies. I was going to eat one each mile, until I realised that there aren't mile markers (it's marked in km). I quite like the idea of taking every mile as a separate challenge, with a jelly baby to mark the end of it. I could either take the miles off my HRM reading, or go for 1 jelly baby every 2km instead. I haven't decided yet. 42 jelly babies (1 per km) does seem a little excessive. As long as there are jelly babies involved somewhere I'll be happy.

Third - keeping going - I said that I was going to ignore my heart rate, and I kind of am, but I like the possibility of using my HRM as a motivational tool in the latter stages. Once when I was struggling on a training run I had my HRM locked onto a heart rate zone, and the constant beeping when I took walk breaks was quite good at getting me to start running again so I could get my heart rate back up into a zone the HRM liked. It's like an alarm that says "there's a lazy bugger over there taking a walk break when she should be running", and that seems to motivate me to start again before anyone notices! It seems a bit harder to slow down to stop creeping out of the top of it though, particularly when you're feeling good. But if I get to the stage where I want to take walk breaks, this could be a good way to make sure that they don't go on for too long. I'm not intending to set a HR zone in the first half of the race, but it might keep me running in the second half, if I need the motivation.

Fourth - music, or the lack of it - recently I've started running without my ipod because it's getting dark in the mornings. I've been weighing up the pros and cons of running with music. On the plus side it will possibly let me concentrate and focus, and the familiarity of my own music might help. But on the down side, maybe I need the atmosphere of the crowd to pull me through. I don't want to carry it round if I'm not going to listen to it, but do I want it there as a safety blanket with some specially picked and inspirational songs on it to get me through the hard parts?

--------------------------------

Gah. In my current state of mind - roughly "can't run too much, but can't stop thinking about running" I've been making plans for Amsterdam too. There is only so much I can do with my Berlin packing list, as it's been in pretty much final form for the past two weeks, and things that are missing tend to occur to me at random moments rather than when I'm looking at it.

So, Amsterdam. I've not really thought about that much at all, even though it's only three and a half weeks away (and no race pack yet!), but I found myself on the website last night and nearly died of shock. The half marathon I'm meant to be running doesn't start at a normal, civilised, running time, but at 2pm. Since when did you run a half marathon in the afternoon? I can see why, as the full and half marathon courses are different, but overlap quite a lot, and it would be a nightmare trying to have everyone running at the same time, but 2pm???

Which led to two panics in my head. First of all, my flight home, which is at 8.45 that evening. I'm not so slow that I'd miss it, but there's not likely to be much time for a celebratory meal or drinks afterwards before I need to head out to the airport.

And second, what on earth will I eat? I never run at 2pm and I have no idea how to feed myself in the hours before the race. At least it's not a real target race, and I was only ever intending to run at as a bit of fun with my friends, but still, if I can shave a bit off my PB if my legs have recovered enough I'd like to go for it. But 2pm... What on earth are they playing at?

M - 6: And today's obsession is...

2006-09-18T19:45:00.000+01:00

Well, there are three. First the weather, which is looking worryingly good. To be quite honest, cool weather with light rain would do me nicely, but it seems that it might be *shock* warm and sunny. That could make things interesting, as I certainly won't be done before the heat of the day hits...

The second obsession was packing lists, having realised that I'd missed things off again. Most notably swimming stuff - despite having deliberately booked a hotel with a pool in case I wanted to give my weary legs a soak after the run or on Monday morning. More shockingly, I had exactly the same plan for the 10k I did in London and forgot my swimming stuff that time, and I had to make an emergency purchase in Top Shop.

And finally, I've tracked down a list of free wifi hotspots in bars and restaurants and the like. There is wifi at the hotel, but I suspect that it will be horrendously expensive, so my plan for Sunday evening (at least before the Marathon Party - if I'm still standing by then) is to find somewhere to get something to eat, something to drink, and type up a race report for all you nice people out there. I'm no novice to the solo travelling thing, but having the laptop and typing away will make me feel a bit less exposed anyway, and if I can find a bar that will let me surf away free then that's sounding more and more like a plan. Some of the ones I've found have websites and menus and the like online, and look like perfectly pleasant places to sit down and rehydrate with vodka and red wine...

ONE WEEK TO GO! (The name question)

2006-09-17T18:57:00.000+01:00

I had a good 8 mile run today. OK, so I'm tapering and I'm not running that far, but it still felt a lot easier than a lot of the runs I've been doing recently, and I'm getting back to speeds that I'd been aiming to hit on that sort of run earlier on in my training. Maybe things will come good in the end after all.

Today's big question has turned out to be should I or shouldn't I write my name on my top on Sunday? Part of me wants to, thinking that I need every bit of support I can muster (even if I can't understand a word of it...), but I've read posts from people saying that it's OK if you're going well, but if you start to falter, hearing your name is the last thing you need. Also (and I know this is really pathetic) at the moment it looks like I'll be running wearing my favourite Sweaty Betty top, and I don't want to ruin it by writing my name on it.

Maybe I'll just put a laundry marker in the case and see how I feel on the day?

M - 8: Speed

2006-09-16T18:54:00.000+01:00

I had a surprisingly fast run this morning. It was only 3 miles, and with my recent reduced mileage, no matter how hard I tried to rein myself in a bit, I was still rocketing along surprisingly well.

After months of marathon training, fast doesn't mean as fast as I used to run in the heady days of April, but it means faster than my realistic marathon pace, when I wasn't trying to do a pace run (and had no idea how feasible it was to run at that pace I set my sights on months ago after months of slow runs)

8 miles tomorrow, then I'm pretty much done.

M-10

2006-09-14T21:18:00.000+01:00

Nothing too interesting to report today. I ran, on schedule, I ate carbs, I read the Berlin guide book. I sense that I'm about to move out of the "getting close and quite excited" stage into the "bloody hell, what have I agreed to do" stage. At the moment, I'm kind of in limbo. I've got used to the thought that it's in less than two weeks, but I've not yet had to confront being in the last week.

Tomorrow night or Saturday is the big carb shop, I'm also making myself some flapjacky carb loady treats to take with me over the weekend. A 3 miler and an 8 miler, and then I'm pretty much done.

Eek!

M - 11

2006-09-13T20:48:00.000+01:00

A quick foot update, it seems to be recovering a little. It wasn't helped by me wearing new work shoes and taking some skin off my toes, but I seem to be able to run relatively pain free, which is good.

I've got a couple more jobs done, sorted out parking at the airport and worked out the public transport system and what ticket I need.

It's looking like I'll be travelling over there on my own. I'd been looking forward to a bit of company, but my friend has got ill. It's worse for her to actually be ill than it is for me to travel alone when I do that loads anyway, but I'm still a little disappointed that the weekend won't be quite what I hoped for. The important thing is that she gets herself well though, so I'm busy adjusting my plans a bit. In a way it might help me resist the temptation to do too much sightseeing and too little sleeping, but it would have been nice to have someone to share the whole experience with. I might just have to take my laptop so I can whinge online about my blisters and hope someone is listening!

Anyway, these things happen, and the important thing is that I'm still fit and healthy with a week and a half to go, and currently just praying that I don't pick anything up before next weekend!

The final countdown: M-12

2006-09-12T19:49:00.000+01:00

I ran 4.4 miles this morning. My foot seemed OK for most of it (although my heart rate was strangely high), and didn't seem to react badly. I'm taking it on a day by day basis at the moment, but it felt good to be running, I think it's a confidence thing more than anything and I want to keep on reminding myself that I can run.

I also used today's run to try out a waist bag which I bought over the weekend for carrying gels. Normally I do my long runs with a Camelbak and while it's nice to constantly have Lucozade on tap, I'm not sure I want the extra weight on marathon day, when there are drinks available on the course anyway. But if I dump that, I need something else to carry my gels in (usually I just put them in a side pocket). I got myself a cheap, light, breathable waist bag and am trying to take it out on a few runs to see how it feels. I know, I know, I know. I should have tried it on a long run rather than just on the short ones, but I'm doing the best I can with the time available.

I'm still pondering the Camelbak though. It's what I'm used to, and it also means that I can drink something I'm used to on the way round rather than the strange German sports drink I've never tried before which they provide en route. But I know that it will be heavy at the start, and then I'll get to about mile 18, I'll have run out of Lucozade and I'll have to decide between carrying an empty, and annoying, camelbak for the next 8 miles or dumping it when it's almost brand new and I don't want to pay for another one. Whereas the waist thing was cheap enough that if I dump it I won't feel bad about it, so even if it does start to feel uncomfortable maybe I can just decide it's not worth it and carry on without it.

The final countdown: M - 13

2006-09-11T20:10:00.000+01:00

The real coundown has started. Less than a fortnight to go!

A couple of updates. First, the bad. My foot hurts. I don't know why, I've reduced my mileage and it's not done anything too strenuous, but it definitely hurts - and it's been hurting since late Friday/early Saturday. It feels very much like it did when I had inflamed metatarsals back in April 2005, other than the blissful fact that it feels nowhere near as bad. That fixed itself in a week or so, so I'm not panicing just yet, but this isn't a good development. I don't know whether to run on it on the basis that I can, and I don't want to lose too much fitness, or whether to let it rest a while yet. I'll see how it feels in the morning. Rest seems like a good option at the moment.

Second, the obsessive. The list writing phase has started. I'm starting to write lists of everything. What I need to pack, what I need to put in my bag on the day, what I'm going to eat, and when, if I can think of a list to write, I'll write it. I really don't want to leave anything to chance. I have a couple more important jobs to do (parking at the airport and phoning my travel insurance company to see whether the exclusion relating to "professional or organised sport" applies to marathons run strictly as an amateur. Not professional, but definitely organised.

I'm going to try to update this blog a little more often in the countdown to the big day. After all, now I'm not running I've got more time for obsessing and blogging!

Taper-tastic

2006-09-03T19:51:00.000+01:00

So, that's it then. The training is over, and it's time for the taper.

I did my last long run today. It was meant to be 20 miles, but I ended up only doing 17. The fact that I was disappointed to "only" run 17 miles (after a couple of very disrupted weeks with trips away - to Prague and to see my grandparents) really does show how far I've come.

In the next three weeks, conventional wisdom says, I can't do much to improve my performance in the marathon. I can only do things that will make me pick up injuries or get too tired. It's time to take it a bit easier. It's also time for a bit of reflection.

My training seems to have slacked off a bit in the past month. I've cut the length of a couple of runs, and I've had a week where I hardly ran at all (in Prague). I know that I could have trained better over the past month, and it pisses me off a bit that I haven't.

But equally, I ran 17 miles today in under 3 hours. Pretty close to 10 minute miles throughout. This time last year I was still stressing about trying to run a 10k in under an hour (and failing to do it on the big day). Two years ago I was over 18 stone, and even though I'd started getting fitter and thinner I didn't dream I'd ever be fit enough to run a marathon. Or indeed run at all. Three years ago the thought of getting fit had never even crossed my mind.

So what if my training hasn't been perfect, and if that sub-4 hour marathon will have to wait for a while. I've still put myself in a position where I know I'll be able to finish the run, even if I don't run it all, and I'll still get that medal whether I finish in 3 hours or 6.

I like setting myself tough targets, and having the 4 hour goal in my head has concentrated the mind at some times. But I also realise that, while it's still possible, it's not the be all and end all. If I finish the marathon, then that's a victory in itself. Lose 100lb and run a marathon. Check.

So anyway, it's time to relax a bit and try to let my legs recover a bit. Roll on the marathon - only 3 weeks to go!

Hills

2006-08-20T21:22:00.000+01:00

That was hard.

The one problem with knowing that Berlin is almost perfectly flat is that I haven't had much incentive to do any hill training. None of my runs are entirely pancake like, but I don't do anything that could be described as more challenging than gently undulating.

I knew when I entered the 30k race I did today that it would be far hillier than my normal routes, and that I'd struggle, so I went into it with a very modest aim (to break 4 hours), and with no illusions about the number of walk breaks I'd need to take. But still, it was hard.

The rain during the week didn't help. The route was almost entirely off road, and paths that might simply have been a bit tricky before, downhill with stones and roots, turned into muddy, slippy bogs which I wasn't going to attempt to run for fear of breaking my ankle again. And the uphills, well they were never going to be easy, but I'm sure the rain didn't help.

I thought I'd made an OK, solid start and was shocked when I got to the first water station and it said 5k (at 50 minutes), then even worse at the second which said 7.5k at about 1 hour 20. Then bizarrely I spent half an hour or so walking up the biggest hill in Derbyshire (or that's what it felt like), got lost and went round in circles, and got to the third water station dot on 2 hours and it said 16km. I suspect that the first two were wrong - but I'd been seriously considering giving the whole thing up as a bad job when I thought I'd only covered 7.5k in 1 hour 20.

The problem with the second half or so of the race was that the field was fairly small and spread out and (aside from the problems with navigating - I've never done a race where you get given a map and an emergency phone number before!) it was hard to find someone to race against which is what normally keeps me going in races. Picking someone near me and trying to stick with them or beat them to the finish. This time everyone was just too spread out. There was little sign of the person in front, and the person behind was running slowly enough that I could take regular walk breaks without being overtaken.

It wasnt my best run ever. It wasn't fast, and it wasn't all running. But I beat my 4 hour goal coming in at around 3:45 (timings approximate - I didn't start my watch on the start and only remembered a minute or so in, then I managed to take my watch off, put it in my bag and nudge the reset button on the way to the shower!). It's another 18.6 miles under the belt, and I now only have one long run before Berlin!

And after that, I must do some hill training.

Stats

2006-08-15T21:50:00.000+01:00

Just noticed I've run exactly 800 miles this year as of today! It's taken me 5 days, 4 hours and 40 minutes and 35 seconds(not all at once!).

Wow!

I can do this!

2006-08-12T16:09:00.000+01:00

Let's hear a woo, swiftly followed by a hoo!!!

You may have noticed that my mood rises and falls with the fate of my long runs. When my long run goes badly I feel like I may as well withdraw from Berlin now, and when it goes well I'm on the top of the world.

Well, today it went well.

My knee and hip have improved a lot with the new running shoes. My old ones are still OK, but not for long distance stuff. They did me really well in managing a 47 minute 10k and two half marathons, but above that distance they just don't have enough cushioning. But the new ones, yes, my knee and my hip like them.

So I was feeling a bit more confident, other than one fact. This week I was meant to be attempting 20 miles. The furthest I've managed before is 17.2 miles last week (it was meant to be 18, but I miscalculated the route slightly). And it was painfully slow after 8 miles. 20 is a big jump from that, particularly to do the sort of 20 that gives me confidence rather than knocking it. The last thing I wanted to do was to run 8 miles again and walk 12 instead of 9.

A new route was called for. And this is where I started to get scared. I like running along the canal because it's pretty flat. As Berlin isn't a hilly race I reckon I can get away without too many hills in training (although next weekend's 30k race is reputedly very hilly). My normal route does have hills, but for a bit of a confidence boost I wanted to try something easier.

My first thought was to do what I normally do, which is run half the distance out, turn round, and run back. There is one fatal flaw in that plan, which is what is to stop me turning round after 9 miles, or 8 instead of 10 if I just "don't feel like it". The race appealed to me because it gave me the incentive to carry on to the finish, and I wanted a route that would make me do the same.

So I took a deep breath and measured 20 miles up the canal. I got very scared at this point. 20 miles is, to state the bleeding obvious, a long way. As I kept on clicking my way up the canal on the internet route measurer thingy I started to realise just how far. The Gods smiled on me, and there was a town (with a station!) at the 20 mile mark. The problem is, that town is Keighley, and anyone with a passing knowledge of West Yorkshire will realise that it's not exactly on the doorstep of Leeds City Centre. Obviously not, it's 20 miles away. But when you realise it will take you over 20 minutes to get there BY TRAIN and you're thinking about running back, you start to wonder what sort of insanity has taken hold.

Anyway, I decided to take a deep breath and just do it. Apart from some incredulous comments from friends (you're doing WHAT?), it seemed like a vaguely decent plan. Flat all the way, other than a couple of short downhills at locks. Traffic free, off road, a more forgiving surface. It just involved running from Keighley to Leeds.

It also involved sitting looking like an idiot on the train dressed in my running gear as I got to the start of the route...

Luckily the train was the Leeds-Settle-Carlisle train so there were lots of active looking people on it with their mountain bikes and hiking boots, and plenty of Camelbaks on show. But still, I was sitting there in shorts, with my knee strapped up, looking scared.

The scariest moment was when I got off the train, looked at the map (it was about a mile from the station to the canal itself) and set off. That's the moment when I really wondered what I was doing, and whether it was remotely sane. After that it was surprisingly fine.

I had a gel/walk break strategy and stuck to it perfectly. I had 2 gels on me, and planned to have one at about 7 miles and one at about 14, taking a 2 minute walk break to get them out of the Camelbak and get them down. I took Lucozade sport from the Camelbak hose every 20 minutes or so, which broke the run down into more manageable chunks. Apart from a short unscheduled Paula stop in some bushes at about 9 miles, I just ran, at a nice steady pace, and didn't have any drama.

The only point where I started to struggle was at about 17 or 18 miles. I started feeling really thirsty. I'm not sure whether it was the liquid or the salts or carbs in the drink I was craving, but I felt like I needed something every 4 minutes or so at this stage. My legs weren't actually that bad, but I felt almost too thirsty to carry on running until I stopped, had a few sips and then started again. I managed the last 2 or 3 miles doing a run/walk strategy, but unlike last week it was far more run than walk, and the fact that the last stretch was down a regular route for me helped me to set landmark targets to run to.

I got back to the car, which I'd parked between the canal and the station, and while I was tired I think that on marathon day I could have carried on. If there was a medal (and free beer!) waiting for me at the finish I could have done those extra 6 miles. They might have been run/walk miles, but I'd have been able to do them. Not to mention that the night before the marathon I won't have been to watch a rugby match, slightly tipsy, then decided at 10.30pm to go to a late opening pub, walked a couple of miles in silly shoes, drunk a couple more glasses of wine and got in and watched tv until after 1am, so I should have more energy.

Overall I averaged almost spot on 10 minute miles, taking 3 hours 18 to cover 19.75 miles (which is close enough to 20 for me). The pace felt pretty comfortable throughout, so if I can run a minute per mile faster on race day (which seems to be what they recommend - that your long runs are a minute per mile or so slower than race pace), I should be in the ballpark for that 4 hour finish. Of course, it all depends on those last 6 miles, but at least now I'm confident that I can at least get to the start line to even attempt them.

Holy Crap

2006-08-09T21:39:00.000+01:00

45 days. That number goes down every time I look at it. It's starting to get into scary territory.

The good news though is that I seem to have made progress on the knee/hip front, and ran 8 miles today in the new shoes without any real problems, or any pain during the day.

This is a good thing, and hopefully it will let me kick on for another long run at the weekend.

"The Secret of Endurance is Not Getting Injured"

2006-08-05T20:23:00.000+01:00

And this is my theme for possibly the next six or seven weeks. My hip and knee are still playing up a bit, and I'm starting to reconsider my goals. OK, so I'm theoretically capable of running a 4 hour marathon, but it's my first so even getting round will be an achievement, so why not focus on that?

So this week, I've given myself some slack. I'm not going to call it cheating, or being lazy, although the increasingly dark mornings aren't helping my motivation. No, I'll call it trying to nurse myself through this injury without falling too far off schedule. So I cut one of my midweek 5 milers from my schedule, and I switched my long run to Saturday when I was coming off 2 days rest, with the intention of seeing how I feel before doing my pace run. At the moment I'd rather focus on distance than pace.

So today was intended to be 18 miles. I had a route in mind (the one I attempted last week) but hadn't measured it. I knew it would be between 17 and 18, and that would do me. I started off OK again, and got to 8 miles again. But then my hip started niggling. It wasn't the horrible pain of last week, but it was niggly. I decided to switch to a run walk plan to make sure I got round the route, no matter how slowly.

Just as I started my next run interval after the first break I tripped on something and went flying to the floor. That also put me off my stride a bit, as I was covered in dirt with grazes on my hands and legs. Plus my boobs hurt, having taken some of the impact (I didn't realise they actually stuck out!) So there was maybe more walking than I'd intended, but I kept going, and I made sure I never walked for too long without at least a short run interval.

In the end I made it home and had covered 17.2 miles in just under 3:15. That's not great, but equally, it's a start for rebuilding my confidence that I can get past the 8 mile mark without giving up and going home. I think I've decided to modify the schedule for the next few weeks. My medium long runs have a maximum of 8 miles, and bearing in mind that's precisely the point where pain strikes I want to try to increase those runs just a little to see whether I can push the pain point back a little. So I'll be trying for 8 - 10 miles, and I'm considering focussing on distance rather than pace tomorrow, because that's more important to me now.

I've also bought myself some new (different) shoes with a bit more cushioning, so I'll see whether those make any difference to the pain.

Ouch

2006-07-30T19:34:00.000+01:00

I was going so well this morning. I was aiming for an 18 miler, and got to about 8 miles feeling surprisingly OK, considering the heat. I guess it might have been a bit cooler than previous days but the sun was still pretty strong, for England at least.

Then, out of nowhere, my hip just went. Putting my foot down was agony and I had to stop immediately. This wasn't one of those niggling pains that you can run through, it was stop and moan with pain territory.

So, decisions. Do I attempt to run/walk it off and carry on with the planned run, or do I cut my losses and head home. I was at just about the closest point to home I'd be at for the next few miles (I run three miles out to the edge of the city then I do a five mile loop from there, and I'd just got to the end of my first loop, three miles from home). I realised that much as I want to get long runs under my belt, getting injured won't help, and being further from home when I decided to give up also wouldn't help.

So I set off back, walking. The first mile was agony, the second slightly better, and by the third I was almost in a state where I'd have considered running again, if I hadn't mentally switched off and already worked out when I was going to try 18 again before trying for 20 (next Sunday, which was meant to be a cutback week with a 13 mile run). So, hopefully it's nothing serious, although it is something I'll have to watch.

The good news is I've worked out how to fit all my long runs in without missing any, and I've also got more confidence that if I do pick up a twinge on the big day I can walk it off and start running again.

I went for a three mile walk this afternoon too, just to loosen it up a bit more. It seems to be pretty much fine. I was really concentrating on my walking technique - I suspect the hip pain is linked to my dodgy knee, because I'm modifying my running style to accommodate my knee. So I went back to the basics of walking (the advantages of having had physio as an adult - I actually remember being taught how to walk!) and really focussed on hitting the ground and pushing off well. It seemed to help my knee as well as my hip, so the aim for the week is going to be to watch how I'm walking and make sure my technique is good. (And the same for running, as far as possible).

The RW forum is bad for you...

2006-07-26T19:46:00.000+01:00

It gives you too many bad ideas.

I was on there for too long last night. After checking up on the threads for the races I'm running I started rooting around and made two discoveries.

Firstly, ballot application forms for London 2007 are out. I picked one up today I was so excited. But in an unprecedented show of restraint I'm not going to fill it out until after Berlin. I'm almost certainly going to apply, but I want a number to fill in in the box "previous marathon PB". I'm so vain! I'm not particularly hopeful that I'll get a GFA time (it's still possible, and I'm certainly still hoping to get under 4 hours, but 3:45 just seems a little optimistic right now. Maybe if I start really getting my training back on track?) but if you want to make a GFA application you can't apply to the ballot too. As the closing date for the ballot is a month after Berlin I figure that I've got time to wait and see. Just in case miracles happen.

The second discovery is the most worrying though. I'm getting stupidly tempted by the thought of triathlon. But worse than that. There was a big contingent of RW people doing an ironman at the weekend and part of me was reading the reports thinking what an achievement it would be to finish that, and that it wouldn't be too bad, really.

Erm, what did I just say? Somewhere around 2 hours swimming, 100 miles (I think) on the bike and then a marathon? Not too bad?

Stop right there.

I tell you, hanging around that place plays with your mind. It is too bad, it's insanity.

Don't worry, I won't be signing up for one just yet, and possibly never (although I would like to try the shorter, more manageable tris to see whether I could hack the three discipline thing), but part of me likes to have a seemingly unachievable challenge to aim for, long term.

For years that unattainable dream has been to run a marathon. The dream of something that I never thought I'd be fit enough to do. Now I've realised that I can do that I need something else to aim for. Not in the next six or twelve months, but just to see whether it's possible.

Enter the RW website at your own risk...

15.5 Miles

2006-07-02T19:42:00.000+01:00

I had a surprisingly good run this morning. It was hot, with bright sunshine, and I only got home late last night. So I was a bit apprehensive when I set out later than I'd have liked with the aim of doing 15 miles. (By the way, what has it come to when setting out at 7.30 is "late" on a Sunday morning).

My target pace for long runs is around 10 minute miles (based on 9 - 9:30 for easy runs, and 8:30 for marathon pace runs), but as I set out I realised that it might be a slog, and was even considering a walk break every mile. I revised my target pace downwards. Not that I have ways to track it on the run, but I wanted to make sure that I didn't get back and feel disappointed. I decided that what this run was about was covering the distance, and time on my feet, rather than pace. I know that all long runs are, but this one more than most.

I'd vaguely thought of a route, but the route measuring website I use was playing up and I'd only measured it up to about 12 miles. Still, I knew it would be pretty much right.

I dragged myself out of bed, ignored all the excuses, and headed out.

It was surprisingly OK! I did my normal long run route up to about 8 miles and then, at just about the point I normally walk up the short but steep hill, I went round for another, slightly shorter, circuit of the same reservoir. I'd been planning on heading back to the main road a slightly different way, but the last leg of the circuit was quite shady, so I decided to run a full extra circuit and head home the way I'd come.

I managed to run to just after 12 miles before I got back to the 8 mile short but steep hill. That was further than I've run in any of my marathon training runs (and further than I ran in my last half marathon too). In this heat I was very pleased with that. I walked up the hill, and had three miles to go to get home. I'd wanted to run the whole distance back, but I ended up doing a bit of walking up another hill. But still, I got back and measured the route to find that it was 15.5 miles, and I'd taken a mere 2 walk breaks, and still managed to stay under 10:30 minutes per mile.

Not shabby at all.

After my worries a couple of weeks ago, I'm getting a lot more confidence now. In my running, and in the training plan. My only concern now is that last time I went over to GC I seemed to take about a month to get back into the swing of things, particularly the long runs. I'm off to GC again on Saturday for another 10 day holiday and while I built an extra week into my training plan to cater for that, I'm worried about losing some of my fitness over that week. I would say that I'd do some short runs, but I know what happens on holiday so I wouldn't want to make unrealistic promises!

Anyway, whatever happens, I've managed 15.5 miles, and I'm sticking to the training schedule like glue. If having a week off helps some of the aches and pains and niggles clear up a bit (the knee isn't so bad at the moment, but my hip's a bit iffy) then I can cope with having to build back up a bit if I can't manage the full distances I've been doing so far straight off! On the other hand, I think a lot of it is confidence, so maybe if I just get back believing that I can still run, I'll be able to do it...

Perfect

2006-06-25T11:32:00.000+01:00

The 14 mile run was fantastic!

I prepared better for it yesterday. I made a real effort to eat a few more carbs, and then I prepared some Lucozade to take with me rather than just water.

I set off at a better pace. Instead of trying to run at my normal pace and then needing walk breaks, I really tried to pull myself back and plod along at a slow pace. It averaged out being a quicker pace then running faster and walking, and psychologically it was a far better thing to do because it made me believe that I can really run the distance as opposed to merely covering it on foot.

I did mainly the same route as last weekend, and I didn't let it beat me this time. I had a planned walk at just after 8 miles where I knew there was a steep but short hill that wouldn't take too much extra time to walk up rather than running it, and other than that I was fine until about the 11 mile point, which is far further than I've run in any run other than my first half marathon.

After about 11 miles I got stomach twinges and when I stopped for a breather and tried to start again my hip felt a bit sore. So I walked for a few minutes and then ran again for the rest of the route. I had to modify the end part of my planned route as I realised that it went round the course of the 10k I decided not to do, and I didn't want to get in the way of the runners (particularly as I would be running in the opposite direction, and it was due to start just after I got down to the park). Given the hip issues I could have gone straight home, which would have made the run about 12 miles, but miraculously I was still feeling good, and the hip pain had worn off, so I just modified my route a bit to get those extra 2 miles in without getting in the way of the race, and I got back to the front door after 13.96 miles (close enough for me!) and 2 hours 20 minutes, which was almost exactly the 10 minute miles I'd been hoping for as a decent long run pace if I'm aiming for 8:30 - 9:00 in the marathon itself.

I'm feeling a lot more confident after that, it just goes to show what a good run can do for you!

Spot On

2006-06-24T11:03:00.000+01:00

4 runs out of 5 done this week, pretty much spot on. Right distance, right pace, no major niggles and no walk breaks. The schedule must be working, I've done two 7 milers and two 4 milers. I haven't always wanted to get out there and do it, but I have done, and I've not given up or slowed down or walked because I can't be bothered. I've ticked the minutes and the miles off one by one, and none of those runs has been as bad as I feared.

The big challenge though is tomorrow, 14 miles. My Longest Run Ever. I know that I won't want to go out there and do it, but equally I know that I should. Fingers crossed that it goes well as we move into uncharted territory.