GFA or GFB

The advantage of having come so far on this weight loss and running journey is that I've given up believing that anything is impossible. Or, as the FLM adverts from one of the shoe companies said, Impossible is Nothing. Which one? That's going to bug me now.

Hence I'm currently very very tempted to throw caution to the wind on Sunday. I've talked a couple of times about GFA, but I think it deserves to be renamed. GFB. Go for broke.

I'm confident that I'm in sub-4 hour marathon form. I'm also confident that I'm running well, and one of the faster women I know. Everyone at running club compliments me on my progress. I don't know how much sub-4, but I've seen race time calculators consistently turn out sub 3:45 predictions. It's time to ask myself the question. Do I believe them?

On the one hand I could take the sensible option. Attach myself to the 4 hour pacers like glue, make a late burst if I have the energy and get that time starting with 3. I'm confident that barring anything cropping up on the day (tripping on water bottles, a bad reaction to energy tablets, weather etc), that I could do that.

On the other, I could test myself and see what I can do. I'll never know if I can get that GFA time unless I try. And even if I fail, what's the worst that could happen? Say I drop off the back of the pace group after 16 miles (given that they'll be running a fair bit slower than my HM pace I'm confident of making it at least that far, and the half way time of 1:52:30 would tie in with the recommendation to get there about 10 minutes slower than HM time - 1:43:04). Yes, it will be a long 10 miles to the end, but I'll still PB even if I am overtaken by the 4 hour group.

I was tempted by a third option a few days ago, to head off on my own at a pace between the two groups and see what happens, but that could be the worst of both worlds. A pace group will help me slow down in the early stages then sustain a steady pace for longer, particularly if I can find someone to chat to on the way and we can keep each other going. If my pace starts to slip when I'm on my own there won't be anyone to help me recover.

I know what the sensible thing to do is. I don't need to be told. Nice, slow, even pacing, picking up in the second half if it's going well. But the more I think about it, the more I'm tempted to take the higher risk strategy. If it blows up in my face, what damage have I done? A bit of wounded pride, a lesson learnt for Amsterdam, and the determination to get it right next time. I've thought about it, and I appreciate the risks. I wouldn't attempt it if I didn't at least think there was a 50/50 chance of completing the race at 3:45 pace, but if I don't manage it, it's not the end of the world.

This is ultimately a decision I'll make on Sunday morning. For a start, it depends whether I find the pacers at the start and whether they're in the same pen. I don't want to have to sprint at the start to catch them. It also depends how I'm feeling, what the weather's like, and my mood when I wake up. But I'm starting to actually believe that I might have it in my legs. If I feel less than 50/50 I'll take the 4 hour option. If I feel confident I'm more and more tempted to go for it.

It's more than getting a place in London. I may well do that through the ballot or the club anyway, and even if I don't there are other marathons, and other years to run London. It's something that I feel like I want to achieve so that I can draw a line under the past. One funny thing is that I've started to feel more confident about outing myself to people at running club and people on running forums since I started getting top 10% finishes in races - as though I want to prove myself as a runner before I reveal my obese little secret. If I can get the GFA time then it doesn't matter where I came from, or who I used to be, I've met an objective standard, and can be judged by that.

We'll see...

Top 10!

It's confirmed. I finighed 9th!!! Out of 94!!!!

94 women turned up and only 8 were faster than me!!! Three years ago I was eight stone overweight and couldn't run to the next lamppost, now I'm actually getting close to being half decent.

I've had a big smile on my face all day. Top 10% in my past two races, a lovely confidence boost for Edinburgh.

PB Alert

In the end I decided that a bit of speed wouldn't kill me before Edinburgh, so I decided to see what my legs could do without going all out.

My 10k PB from way back last April was 47:44. I've only done two 10ks since then. One very hot race in London last June, the week after a half marathon, and the Abbey Dash shortly after Berlin and Amsterdam. Neither were going to make a dent in what was the high point of my pre-Kirkstall running at Rothwell last year.

I felt like I should be able to knock a bit of time off that PB. Not much, but I thought that something around 46:30 was a reasonable target to hit at some point soon. I just didn't know whether today was the day, or whether the hills on the course and the fear of going out too hard before Edinburgh, combined with my lack of speed training, would mean I fell a bit short.

It was a really local race, so I jogged about a mile to the start to warm up. There were a couple of other people from running club doing it, including someone who has just joined and is also doing Edinburgh. In the club runs we've done so far she's seemed a fairly similar speed to me, so I wanted to beat her as a bit of a confidence boost (not least because she did 4:05 at London and was disappointed with it so entered Edinburgh - so if I can persuade myself I'm faster than her it will give me alast minute burst of confidence).

Not much to relate on the race itself. I realised that I haven't done a 10k recently enough to have any idea about pacing, other than just run for it. Luckily I now think of 10k as fairly short, so I could do just that.

In the end I came in at 47:08 or so, which was a PB but not quite the time I'm aiming for this summer. There were parts of the race where I could have run better though, so it's not unachievable. My time was actually a nice balance between a morale boosting PB and a pace where I'd have tired myself out too much to back up next week.

I think, from my counting on an out and back section near the end, that I may have been in the top 10 or so women. It was only a small race, so that's not quite as impressive as it sounds, but it would still be nice if it's true.

So now the race kit gets washed, and the next time I'll put it in will be in Edinburgh. No second chances now, it's the big one.

Planning

I think I've decided about pacing at least. In theory I'm not going to go with a pace group in Edinburgh. I've thought about various permutations, and think the best pace for me is actually somewhere between the two. If I feel it's going well after the first half, I can always pick it up a bit, and if I don't I'll be glad I didn't go out with the faster group. The first 6 miles is downhill so it could be tricky not to get carried away. I've actually started writing out a race plan to look at during the week. The slower group is a bit slower than 9 minute miles, I can't remember the exact numbers. I worked out that if I run 9 minute miles I'd be a couple of minutes ahead of them at half way, my target is to stick somewhere between 8:45 and 9 until I see how my legs feel.

I think. I've still got a week to ponder a bit more about how my legs feel and what I think I'm capable of.

I had to stop myself from going on a complete carb spree in Tescos earlier. I managed to get out with a huge loaf of multigrain bread, malt loaf and oatcakes. Although I will be going back during the week for flapjack and other essential supplies.

10 days...

...and I'm not scared yet. I'm remarkably calm about the whole thing. I know I've trained, I know I'm in far better shape than before Berlin, and I know I'll do fairly well. The thought of running 26.2 miles doesn't daunt me, and I just want to get on with it!

First I need to get through the taper without eating my own bodyweight in jaffa cakes and pasta (must repeat a million times - carb loading means eating a higher proportion of carbs, not eating more food...). I need to write list after list after list of things I need to organise, buy and pack for Edinburgh and Spain. I need to find some maps of Edinburgh to help me find the hotel, the expo and the airport, I need to work out what time I need to leave to get up to Edinburgh early enough on the Saturday (without setting off too early that I mess up my sleep patterns). I need to work out what to put in my kit bag, particularly food and drink for after the race which is an area I failed miserably on in Berlin (I had stuff with me, but not stuff I could face eating).

I suppose it's good that my obsessional, planning and list writing tendencies come out at this stage because it takes my mind off the fact that I'm not actually meant to be running or indeed doing much else with my time. I need to rest as much as I can, wrap myself in cotton wool, avoid getting injuries or a cold or anything else, and tick down the sleeps til the big day. I need to remind myself not to ride my new bike when I pick it up on Saturday too, which will be hard! I don't want to stress muscles which aren't used to being used, and more importantly I don't want to fall off it (unlikely, but possible as I haven't cycled regularly for years).

There's just one big decision left. Pacing for the big day. In Berlin my plan was very much to run as far as I could, then finish. It got me a medal, but left me feeling a bit disappointed. In the circumstances it was quite possibly the best approach, but I want to run a marathon properly this time. So, do I go with the pacing group that's a bit over 30 seconds/mile slower than half marathon pace and see how long I can hack it for, or do I go with the pacing group that's another 30 seconds or so slower than that, which I'm confident I should be able to stick with the whole way round. I should be able to stick with the faster group in theory, but theory and practice are two different things when it comes to marathon day!

(Oh, the other decision, do I race my 10k on Sunday, or just plod round it? I had an idea of a time I'd like to achieve if I go all out - and think it is realistic - then I looked at last years results and saw that because it's such a small race, that time would actually have got me third place! No doubt there will be a faster field to foil me this year, but you never know... I could wait and get the target time in another race, but the other 10ks I'm doing this summer are bigger with therefore less chance of winning a prize if I manage it)

top 75!

I wasn't planning to race this one as such, just get round comfortably. Even though my legs feel pretty good at the moment I don't want to overdo it before the marathon, and with this being my local half and something we use as a club run, I know that it's pretty hilly and not a PB course. It was also a lot bigger and more crowded than most halves I've done, so it was difficult to get into the right pace. Even in the last stretch there were times when you struggled to find room to overtake.

I half considered trying to run it at marathon pace as a training run, but I felt I could do a bit better than that, even if I didn't challenge my 1:43 PB. I was aiming for somewhere under 1:50, to keep my record for this year intact of not being over 1:50 for a half, but I didn't plan to go all out.

I started off (downhill) a bit fast, but really eased off on a long uphill stretch between about two and four miles. I know this hill, and it's nasty, so my only aim was to keep on running and not think that because I planned to take it relatively easy it was OK to take a walk break. I made it up, and got a nice bit of downhill to recover a bit. I promptly started to speed back up again. My pacing was all over the place, I was probably running at a relatively constant effort, but because of the hills I was running nowhere near a consistent pace (compared to Ackworth where I was pretty steady all the way round).

It was nice on the way round seeing people from running club cheering us on (lazy gets - why weren't they running?!), and my familiarity with the course meant I knew when to push the pace a bit, and when to prepare for an uphill. But even so it wasn't the most scenic half I've ever done, or the fastest. It was well organised though, I'll give it that.

I got into a bit of a battle with someone from running club during the second half of the race. He actually really winds me up by sticking to me like glue, so when I saw him ahead of me I was tempted to just sit behind him for a while so he didn't spot me. Then he started slowing so I went past him, and then couldn't shake him off. I went faster, so did he. I eased off to see if he'd go ahead, so did he. At Ackworth I managed to get clear of him, but I couldn't this time round. He's really annoying in that he sticks really close to you which can make it hard to overtake other groups, because he blocks the gap that you're trying to run through.

Eventually at about 10 miles he got a bit ahead, and I let him go. At this stage I knew I was on to finish in the 1:40s even if I didn't push it, so I decided to coast in a bit. In the back of my mind was the fact that it was chip timed, and he'd started a fair way ahead of me, so even if he beat me by 30 seconds or so I'd still beat him on my chip time. I didn't want to push the last bit because I knew that could make the difference between a bit of light tiredness and aching legs, which I want to avoid at this stage of marathon training. Even on this stretch it was pretty crowded and there were times when it was hard to get past people, and then there was an evil uphill bit right at the end.

I made it across the line in 1:47, but my chip time was 1:45. (And yes, the other guy's chip time was 1:46, so I did beat him) For something I wasn't intending to race, that's not bad at all - still my second fastest half (on the hardest course I've raced), and a decent improvement on my first two halves of the year which were both pancake flat. Easing off on the early hill gave me a nice negative split, despite the coasting at the end. I didn't trash my legs too much (which I might have done if I'd tried to race those last three miles or up the early hill), but it's a nice confidence boost before Edinburgh.

I picked up my goodie bag and rucksack at the end (I got a spot prize in my goodie bag - but can someone please tell me why they put an XL fleece as a prize in a bag with a medium t-shirt?), and headed off for a shower, thereby missing the most exciting part of the day.

I got to the pub and was informed that we might have actually won something! Apparently, and I'm still checking the truth of this, we won the ladies team prize. I didn't hang around at the end, but a club mate who finished half an hour behind me said that she heard them announcing it when she was at the finish. It turns out I wasn't a scorer (I was the fourth female finisher from the club and only the first three count), but it's still pretty impressive for the ladies team.

I can't find the team results to check exactly how it was worked out, but the individual ones are very interesting. I didn't quite realise beforehand what a slow race it is overall. Considering my time was 1:45 which is decent but not ultra fast, I was surprised that I finished 34/539 in the FOpen category, and 74th woman overall (out of 943). That's well inside the top 10% in both categories. I'm normally between the top 20 and 25%, not so high up. Finishing in the top 75 at a fairly big half actually sounds pretty impressive. I'm also chuffed that I beat the personal trainer from the gym by a good 15 minutes (I really expected him to at least get under 2 hours, but he just missed out).

So now I'm well and truly tapering. I won't run more than 7 miles or so now before Edinburgh. I've got a few club runs, a 10k on Sunday and that's about it. I might have a go at my 10k PB depending how I feel, but really now it's just a case of making sure I get to the start line without messing anything up in the meantime. It's nearly time to start alternating between excitement and nervousness, and to start obsessively writing lists. 13 days and counting.

So, that's that then

Less than 3 weeks to go, and training is pretty much done and dusted. It's time to taper. Of course that doesn't mean three weeks of doing nothing, I've got a half marathon this weekend and a 10k next weekend, and I'm still going to do some decent runs before the big day, but I've done the last of the really long ones.

Even though it "only" ended up being about 18.5 miles, I'm really proud of myself for doing it. I was away for the weekend at the rugby, and quite often in that situation I'd take my running stuff and tell myself that I'd run "if I felt like it". I'd then sink copious amounts of alcohol, or food, or have a late night and of course I wouldn't feel like it in the morning. Or I'd worry about getting lost, and I would back out.

This time, I told myself I was running. I found myself a route that I couldn't get lost on (hmm), and I made it non-negotiable. I was running whether I felt like it or not, so my focus on Saturday shifted to making sure I did feel like it. If I was going to have to run I ought to make it as painless as possible. So I didn't drink (much), and I ate sensibly and I had an early night. Running was my priority, and although I fitted in watching the rugby, I didn't feel the need to accompany it with mindless alcohol consumption.

So, Sunday morning dawned, I got up early, and I went out. My target was 20+ miles along the Taff Trail, a signed cycle route along a river (signposts and a river to follow! Surely I couldn't get lost?) At one point I knew that it split into a high route and a low route, and if I was feeling good my aim was to follow the high route until it met up with the low route, come back on the low route and back to the city centre. But I lost the signs as I headed up the high route, and instead headed on to one of those long steep hills that I hate. It was lovely, through a forest with wild garlic by the side of the road. But it was also a long, long drag. I will admit to breaking into a walk when I took an energy tablet, and realising when I got to the top of the hill that (a) I didn't know whether carrying on would bring me to anywhere I could find a different route back from and (b) if I started going down and then turned round I'd have to run back to the top before going down and heading back to Cardiff. So on the basis I'd been going for an hour and a half and was planning to turn about 1 hour 40, I decided to cut my losses and head straight back down.

I did add an extra small loop when I got back to the hotel, and ended up covering about 18.8 miles, which wasn't too bad although a bit short of target. Still, at least I was still running right to the end, and even though I've not made it past 20 miles in training, I'm far more comfortable this year than I was last year with getting to that stage.

So now for the taper. The hard work is done, now it's time to let my body recover from training and gear up for the big day.